Too Dead To Dance by Diane Morlan

next on
my list. Oh, is that German licorice?” I picked up an envelope with
a picture of a cat on it labeled “Katjes Kinder.”
    “Yes. Licorice cats.
They’re tasty if you like black licorice.”
    Dropping it in my basket I
said, “Black is the only kind of licorice. The red stuff is just
chewy candy.”
    Laughing, she replied, “I
agree. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
    “No, I’d better quit before
I buy out the store.”
    I stuffed the large bag of
groceries in the trunk and got back into my car. I popped a
licorice cat in my mouth and crossed Bavaria Haus off my list. I
was beginning to realize that this little favor was costing me
money as well as time.
     
    I paced in front of the
counter of the Kaffee Haus, waiting for Edwin. My purse was heavy
with a five pound bag of coffee beans stuffed in it along with all
my other necessities. I glanced at my watch, 2:10 PM, Edwin’s
favorite control technique, making me wait for him.
    It had been a major deal to
get him to meet with me. Cheap-o Edwin refused to pay the
six-dollar entrance fee to get onto the Fest Grounds. At first, he
thought I might be trying to get him to come back to me. Fat chance
of that, I had told him. When I said I wanted to discuss the
divorce settlement, he decided to come right away. Agreeing to meet
me at a coffee shop that did not buy their coffee from me was
another of his passive-aggressive procedures. I suppose he thought
I would cave into his outrageous demands to keep all our assets.
What a sap.
    The top was down on his new
convertible when he pulled into the parking lot. I picked up my
iced vanilla latte and chocolate biscotti. Sitting down I tried to
look cool and distant. Hard to do when the sweat beads almost froze
to my forehead in the air-conditioned coffee shop.
    Edwin sauntered in,
smoothing down his windblown hair. He by-passed the coffee counter
and stood over me. “I haven’t got much time so let’s get right to
it.”
    What a pompous ass. I gave
him my best sarcastic smile and motioned to the chair across from
me. “Good to see you, too, Edwin. Please sit down.”
    I took a sip of coffee and
almost spit it out. The licorice cat I had just eaten made the
coffee taste terrible. I took a bite of biscotti to take the
licorice taste from my mouth.
    Edwin scraped the chair
away from the table and slapped down a manila file folder before he
took a seat. “I don’t have time for small talk, Jenny. I hope you
are finally ready to be reasonable about the
settlement.”
    “Don’t call me Jenny.” My
automatic reply. “That attitude is not going to get me to sign a
paper giving away everything we’ve worked for over the
years.”
    “Not everything. You can
have the bedroom furniture, your car and your little coffee
business. After all, I’m the one who worked for all the things I
own.”
    “We own!” I pounded my fist
on the table. “I’m the one who worked to put you through Grad
school. You wouldn’t be a CPA if I hadn’t taught third grade to
support us. Besides, I’m the one who raised our two
children.”
    “Like raising kids is such
a big deal.” As usual with Edwin, I shut up and let his sarcasm
roll over me.
    I inhaled deeply and
answered. “I guess we’ll have to let the mediator help us work this
out next week, okay?”
    “Fine. But what did you
want to meet for if you’re not going to sign these
papers?”
    “I wanted to talk to you
about Marty. I think she may be in trouble.”
    “Marty? What are you
talking about? Why don’t you keep your nose out of my business?”
Edwin often goes from perplexed to angry in two seconds flat. In
fact, Edwin can go from any emotion to anger in a flash. His
yelling is notorious among our friends and neighbors.
    “Edwin, calm down and stop
yelling before we get thrown out. Haven’t you heard about the
murder?”
    “Of course I heard about
it. This is Hermann. Everybody in this hick town heard about the
corpse you found sprawled across your