by the way her expression changes from fear to shock.
“Is that a…”
“Scar? Yes.” She begins to move her fingers on her own, traveling up my forearm until she finds another one. Her eyes get wider but she never takes them off me.
“But how?” She sounds terrified. She doesn’t believe it.
“Because he said I deserved it.” I start to pull my arm back and she grips me tighter pulling my arm so hard I have to lean across the console. She puts my arm in her lap and runs both her hands up and down it. The sensation is tormenting me, the mixture of desire for her to keep going and the pain of the memories those scars hold is too much.
“Your dad?” She’s starting to get it.
I nod and her eyes glaze over. I wait for the pity but it doesn’t come.
“There are so many,” she whispers to herself just as her fingers grazed the top of my wrist band. My heart punches me in the chest from the inside. My ribs feel as if they will crack. I need this , I tell myself. I need to let someone in.
I shake, for the first time in years, I shake. Talia takes the clasp in her fingers. She doesn’t say anything but just licks her bottom lip before biting it. I nod slowly but I have to look away. I can’t watch her. I want her to know, but I don’t. My brain is such a fucking mess that I close my eyes and lean back against the headrest.
I hear the snap of the band’s catch.
Talia drops my arm and my heart falls with it. There’s no turning back now.
She gasps.
“Lachlan!”
She wraps her hand around my wrist and presses her palm onto the long scar. I finally get the guts to look at her and swivel my head without lifting it off the headrest.
As soon as my eyes meet hers she flings herself across the car and I catch her as she wraps her arms around me. I bury my face in her neck, which is not something I would normally do, but she smells like vanilla and almonds and I can’t help it.
She hugs me tight and whispers in my ear, “I do get it, Lachlan. I know what it feels like to have nowhere to hide from yourself. To feel like you have no escape. I get it.”
My shoulders tense and she pulls back. Those eyes. She does get it. I see understanding, not pity, behind the flecks of ocean blue.
And it scares the shit out of me.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Talia
Nan’s saying something to me, I can hear her voice but I’m not paying attention. I’m thinking about Lachlan. I have been all week. Mostly about his scars, specifically the long thin bump that ran along the inside of his wrist. He wouldn’t tell me if it was his fathers doing or his own. Actually, he never said anything after I saw it. He put on his band and drove me home. And he hasn’t spoken to me since. He ditched out on our last meeting and I had to go see the director of the Christmas Charity drive by myself.
“Tali, darling? Are you okay?” Nan reaches down to the end of the couch, where I’m sitting and pats my knee. I try to smile at her but I can’t. She looks terrible. I’ve stopped asking about it because all she ever says is “I’m fine, darling.” Which is garbage because she’s losing weight, her skin is no longer luminescent but grey and sallow. Her eyes don’t shine like they did, and I can tell it is taking her a lot of effort to move around.
“Sorry Nan. I was just lost.” I lift the half-done hat, trying to suggest that’s what I was lost in. Nan doesn’t fall for it. She purses her lips and I sigh. Busted.
“I can’t talk about it, Nan. It’s not mine to talk about.”
“Is it about that boy?”
She’s good.
“Yeah, I’m struggling with this planning thing. He’s making it worse. He’s supposed to help but he spends most of his time sneaking around and missing meetings and kidnapping me.” I intentionally leave out the part where I feel like I’ll disintegrate every time he’s close enough to touch.
Nan’s eyes widen. “What do you mean kidnapping you?”
“Not literally.
“Is that a…”
“Scar? Yes.” She begins to move her fingers on her own, traveling up my forearm until she finds another one. Her eyes get wider but she never takes them off me.
“But how?” She sounds terrified. She doesn’t believe it.
“Because he said I deserved it.” I start to pull my arm back and she grips me tighter pulling my arm so hard I have to lean across the console. She puts my arm in her lap and runs both her hands up and down it. The sensation is tormenting me, the mixture of desire for her to keep going and the pain of the memories those scars hold is too much.
“Your dad?” She’s starting to get it.
I nod and her eyes glaze over. I wait for the pity but it doesn’t come.
“There are so many,” she whispers to herself just as her fingers grazed the top of my wrist band. My heart punches me in the chest from the inside. My ribs feel as if they will crack. I need this , I tell myself. I need to let someone in.
I shake, for the first time in years, I shake. Talia takes the clasp in her fingers. She doesn’t say anything but just licks her bottom lip before biting it. I nod slowly but I have to look away. I can’t watch her. I want her to know, but I don’t. My brain is such a fucking mess that I close my eyes and lean back against the headrest.
I hear the snap of the band’s catch.
Talia drops my arm and my heart falls with it. There’s no turning back now.
She gasps.
“Lachlan!”
She wraps her hand around my wrist and presses her palm onto the long scar. I finally get the guts to look at her and swivel my head without lifting it off the headrest.
As soon as my eyes meet hers she flings herself across the car and I catch her as she wraps her arms around me. I bury my face in her neck, which is not something I would normally do, but she smells like vanilla and almonds and I can’t help it.
She hugs me tight and whispers in my ear, “I do get it, Lachlan. I know what it feels like to have nowhere to hide from yourself. To feel like you have no escape. I get it.”
My shoulders tense and she pulls back. Those eyes. She does get it. I see understanding, not pity, behind the flecks of ocean blue.
And it scares the shit out of me.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Talia
Nan’s saying something to me, I can hear her voice but I’m not paying attention. I’m thinking about Lachlan. I have been all week. Mostly about his scars, specifically the long thin bump that ran along the inside of his wrist. He wouldn’t tell me if it was his fathers doing or his own. Actually, he never said anything after I saw it. He put on his band and drove me home. And he hasn’t spoken to me since. He ditched out on our last meeting and I had to go see the director of the Christmas Charity drive by myself.
“Tali, darling? Are you okay?” Nan reaches down to the end of the couch, where I’m sitting and pats my knee. I try to smile at her but I can’t. She looks terrible. I’ve stopped asking about it because all she ever says is “I’m fine, darling.” Which is garbage because she’s losing weight, her skin is no longer luminescent but grey and sallow. Her eyes don’t shine like they did, and I can tell it is taking her a lot of effort to move around.
“Sorry Nan. I was just lost.” I lift the half-done hat, trying to suggest that’s what I was lost in. Nan doesn’t fall for it. She purses her lips and I sigh. Busted.
“I can’t talk about it, Nan. It’s not mine to talk about.”
“Is it about that boy?”
She’s good.
“Yeah, I’m struggling with this planning thing. He’s making it worse. He’s supposed to help but he spends most of his time sneaking around and missing meetings and kidnapping me.” I intentionally leave out the part where I feel like I’ll disintegrate every time he’s close enough to touch.
Nan’s eyes widen. “What do you mean kidnapping you?”
“Not literally.
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