skipping practices was a great idea. Men! The pain I was feeling was kept me confined in my bed, staring at the door. I practically had it memorized, the lines of the door, the color. I had never felt so betrayed in my life. It was too much for my brain to take in at once. I thought he would at least discuss things with me. Tell his coach he couldn't come to this one practice so that he could figure things out with me. That would have been the best possible thing for us to do. But as it turns out, there was room for only one love in Bennett's life and that love wasn't me. There was no doubt about it. I had never felt so terrible in my whole life. Why was he doing this to me? I stared at that door, waiting for him to come back. Why hadn't he come back yet? To say that he was stupid for walking out and that he was sorry. He needed to say he was sorry. I wanted him to say that he loved me more than a game and would make both work in order to be with me. I didn't want him to give up the game, but I needed to be there, too. I didn't think that it was a lot to ask of him. What was wrong with him? I had been so sure that he would come back. That he would rush through the door and scoop me up into his arms. We would kiss so passionately that we would end up back in bed together. We would wake up in each other’s arms and I would have no choice but to forgive him. In fact, I would have gladly forgiven him if he did any of those things. But he didn't. Bennett never came back that day.
Chapter Two
I waited for an hour before I finally gave up. Getting out of bed took a lot of effort on my part. It felt almost impossible to do so, but I did it. I thought for sure he would have returned by then or at the very least sent me a message, apologizing or, dammit, just something. But I didn't hear from him at all and it was about time that I get on with my day. There was no point in me lying around any longer. I was just embarrassing myself further. It was hard to accept things were over between Bennett and me. I didn't want that at all. It was bad enough trying to accept the fact that he had left, never mind trying to understand why he didn't want to fight for our relationship. Why didn't he love me enough to include me in his life? He was behaving like a thoughtless jerk. I stepped off the bed and went about collecting my clothing. With every piece I picked up, I started to remember how it came off of my body. How Bennett had taken each piece off my body. I began to clasp my bra back on and slip into my panties, remembering that they had been the last things he had taken off my body. I pulled on my jeans and slipped into my t-shirt. I did everything like a robot, my mind numb to everything around me. I had no idea how to feel in that moment and the truth was, I felt nothing at all. Maybe that was a good thing, maybe I should enjoy feeling nothing. Sooner rather than later, I would feel the pain of loss again and that wasn't going to be much fun. Feeling nothing was a little refreshing after feeling so much pain lately. I was sick of feeling that way. Relationships were supposed to bring you joy in your life, not continually cause pain. Maybe Connie had been right all along; maybe I should have avoided Bennett from the beginning. Not get involved with someone striving for a major league career. It only caused complications in my life that I didn't need. I had to accept the fact that he was gone and move on with my life. I had put too much time and effort already into a relationship that wasn't important to Bennett; way too much time. I had thought it was worth it, but his behavior told me otherwise. He obviously wasn't that interested in me or a in a future with me if he was able to throw it all away that quickly. He didn't even try to save it; he just walked away from me without a thought that he was hurting me. I had wanted a different ending. I had just been so sure that he would come back. It was a shock to find out that