Through the Cracks by Honey Brown Page A

and some Saturday morning music videos.’
    He smiled without showing any teeth. Adam didn’t smile back. Flowing words and velvety voices didn’t make any difference. Dark hair, a handsome face, small hands, bony wrists, gentle movements, none of it changed what lay underneath. Adam’s heart sank and his mind lurched awake. Danger came like this. In a snap. He’d been wrong to relax and think it wouldn’t. A nurse walked in and Adam watched her, puzzled that she couldn’t see it, sense it – the air had changed. Those people from the playground, down near the beach, the drunks, one of them might as well have staggered in, reeking of the thing they couldn’t control. This man stunk.
    The nurse smiled, tucked in her chin, lifted her shoulder to her ear. ‘Brother Hayden.’
    ‘Looking lovely as always, Nurse Judith.’
    When she left, Adam continued staring at the doorway. Nurse Judith would have to return. She’d walk down the corridor and begin to feel something wasn’t right. Brother Hayden wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be there. He shouldn’t be allowed to offer chocolates to boys or be left alone to do what he was doing now, sitting down on the bed, touching the back of Adam’s hand, brushing Adam’s fringe away from his eyes, moving so that his bum was firm up against Adam’s hip and talking about the colour of Adam’s eyes.
    ‘Quite entrancing.’
    Brother Hayden’s eyes weren’t entrancing. Adam couldn’t look at them.
    ‘A young man named Billy passed on to me that you were here. It seems the hospital contacted the Boytime Co-op. Yes? Billy likes to train there. He’s well known at the Mission. He told me to look out for you. How’s that sounding, Adam? Agreeable? Do you think?’
    ‘Don’t touch me.’
    The boy eating his chocolate looked across. Brother Hayden reached into his satchel and took out the same piece of paper Adam had found with his clothes. His sheet was flat, without a crease. He held it up. He must have looked at Adam’s clothes at some point while talking, and seen the folded page, he reached for it, unfolded it, and held up the matching notices side by side.
    ‘Boytime Co-op. Will I tell Billy you don’t remember him? He seems very concerned about you. My understanding is he has helped you quite a bit.’
    ‘If you don’t get away from me I’ll scream.’
    Brother Hayden got up. He slipped his copy of the notice back in his bag.
    ‘The generous spirit of the True Life Mission extends even to young men who shun it. Our doors are always open. We welcome teenagers, like yourself; we need mature role models for the younger ones to follow and look up to. We like to see young men thrive in the right conditions, off the streets, in positions of leadership. I’ll let you think about the alternatives and I’ll visit again soon. God bless.’
    Brother Hayden left without visiting the girl in the neck brace. She didn’t get to choose a chocolate bar. She didn’t get a comic book. She burst into tears. She’d coloured in a picture of Jesus to give Brother Hayden. Nurse Judith soothed her.
    ‘Sometimes he runs out of time.’
    The nurse gave the girl a lollipop. She sucked on it and looked with tear-filled eyes at Adam. The nurse glared at Adam as she walked past the foot of his bed. Adam waited until the nurse was gone. He pushed his bed covers back. At the very least he’d have his clothes and shoes on, ready to run.
    The doctor strode in.
    Adam’s foot was over the edge of the mattress. He drew it back, perched high on the bed, up against the pillows. The doctor closed the curtain around Adam’s bed and unhooked the chart. Nurse Judith stood beside him. He handed her the chart to put away.
    ‘Good to see you with some colour in your face.’ The doctor leaned in and placed his thumb beneath Adam’s eye. The skin on the doctor’s cheeks and chin was pitted. He had crooked teeth. He pulled Adam’s bottom eyelid down, looked, let go. ‘How are you feeling? Not