time in months, Lily hadn’t been thinking of her brother.
“I wish I’d been able to attend the burial,” Michael said. “I hadn’t seen him in above two years.”
“Didn’t you see him the summer before last? Oh, but perhaps you were at sea that July.”
“Two summers ago?” Michael shook his head. “I wasn’t at sea. I was in Plymouth. But no, I didn’t have a chance to see Leo. Wasn’t he with you in Gloucestershire?”
“Not for July. He went …” Lily bit her tongue. “Oh, I’m sorry. I must be remembering it wrong.”
That July, Leo had spent the month at a reunion of his old Eton friends. She didn’t want to make Michael feel poorly for having been excluded. But then, why should Michael have been excluded? He’d been Leo’s closest friend at school. It made no sense, unless …
Unless Leo hadn’t attended a reunion with his old Eton friends. Unless he’d spent a month somewhere else.
The room went fuzzy around her. Fragments of those letters floated to the surface of her memory.
When I close my eyes at night, I imagine we’re there again. We lie still in the tall grass. A clear sky hangs over us. The sun’s warmth bakes the dew from our skin. Your fingers lace with mine. Like children, we laugh at the skylarks mating overhead .
Then you turn to me slowly, brush a lock of hair from my brow .
We kiss, and childish thoughts are put away .
Lily jolted back into the present. The commander stood before her.
“Shall we?” He extended a hand and tilted his head toward the card tables.
“Oh!” She rose to her feet. “Yes, of course.”
They sat down to whist. She, Amelia, Michael, and the commander occupied the first table, whilst the three younger lieutenants were left to play shorthanded at the other, with the empty fourth seat designated “dummy.”
Lily was partnered with Michael, and the commander seated himself to her left. As Amelia shuffled the deck, Lily tried to focus. She was good at cards, and especially skilled at whist. She looked forward to displaying proficiency in something this evening.
But she couldn’t. Her concentration was so scattered. Several times, she had to be prompted to play her turn. At her left, she felt the commander growing impatient. The testy set of his jaw told her what his words did not. He was bored with her. It happened. People like the commander started out solicitous and enthusiastic, treating conversation with a deaf woman as some sort of parlor game in its own right. But once they realized the game had no end, and furthermore, no prizes would be awarded … they sometimes grew weary of the effort and ceased trying.
To be fair, Lily was poor company. Her mind kept circling back to her conversation with Michael and that stack of letters she’d found hidden in Leo’s desk drawer. She’d always thought there’d been no secrets between her and her brother. Evidently she’d been wrong.
What had he been hiding from her? Or more to the point, whom?
And where in the world was Julian? He promised to escort her to three events, not make an appearance just long enough to humiliate her before fleeing the scene and leaving her all alone to deal with Leo’s grief-stricken friends. Not to mention commanders of the Royal Navy who were short on patience and entirely too free with their hands.
Even though she knew it to be unfair, she wanted to take her every moment of uncertainty, awkwardness, and undiluted fear in this endless day and heap the blame squarely at Julian’s feet. She was so very tired, and tired of being angry with him. Between the unshed tears blurring her vision and the trembling of her fingers, she could barely make out the figures on her cards.
“I beg your pardon,” she said, laying down her cards and rising from the table. “I believe I need some air.” When the other men began to rise, she motioned for them to remain in place. Amelia’s eyes flashed concern, and Lily tried to reassure her with a smile. “Don’t
“I wish I’d been able to attend the burial,” Michael said. “I hadn’t seen him in above two years.”
“Didn’t you see him the summer before last? Oh, but perhaps you were at sea that July.”
“Two summers ago?” Michael shook his head. “I wasn’t at sea. I was in Plymouth. But no, I didn’t have a chance to see Leo. Wasn’t he with you in Gloucestershire?”
“Not for July. He went …” Lily bit her tongue. “Oh, I’m sorry. I must be remembering it wrong.”
That July, Leo had spent the month at a reunion of his old Eton friends. She didn’t want to make Michael feel poorly for having been excluded. But then, why should Michael have been excluded? He’d been Leo’s closest friend at school. It made no sense, unless …
Unless Leo hadn’t attended a reunion with his old Eton friends. Unless he’d spent a month somewhere else.
The room went fuzzy around her. Fragments of those letters floated to the surface of her memory.
When I close my eyes at night, I imagine we’re there again. We lie still in the tall grass. A clear sky hangs over us. The sun’s warmth bakes the dew from our skin. Your fingers lace with mine. Like children, we laugh at the skylarks mating overhead .
Then you turn to me slowly, brush a lock of hair from my brow .
We kiss, and childish thoughts are put away .
Lily jolted back into the present. The commander stood before her.
“Shall we?” He extended a hand and tilted his head toward the card tables.
“Oh!” She rose to her feet. “Yes, of course.”
They sat down to whist. She, Amelia, Michael, and the commander occupied the first table, whilst the three younger lieutenants were left to play shorthanded at the other, with the empty fourth seat designated “dummy.”
Lily was partnered with Michael, and the commander seated himself to her left. As Amelia shuffled the deck, Lily tried to focus. She was good at cards, and especially skilled at whist. She looked forward to displaying proficiency in something this evening.
But she couldn’t. Her concentration was so scattered. Several times, she had to be prompted to play her turn. At her left, she felt the commander growing impatient. The testy set of his jaw told her what his words did not. He was bored with her. It happened. People like the commander started out solicitous and enthusiastic, treating conversation with a deaf woman as some sort of parlor game in its own right. But once they realized the game had no end, and furthermore, no prizes would be awarded … they sometimes grew weary of the effort and ceased trying.
To be fair, Lily was poor company. Her mind kept circling back to her conversation with Michael and that stack of letters she’d found hidden in Leo’s desk drawer. She’d always thought there’d been no secrets between her and her brother. Evidently she’d been wrong.
What had he been hiding from her? Or more to the point, whom?
And where in the world was Julian? He promised to escort her to three events, not make an appearance just long enough to humiliate her before fleeing the scene and leaving her all alone to deal with Leo’s grief-stricken friends. Not to mention commanders of the Royal Navy who were short on patience and entirely too free with their hands.
Even though she knew it to be unfair, she wanted to take her every moment of uncertainty, awkwardness, and undiluted fear in this endless day and heap the blame squarely at Julian’s feet. She was so very tired, and tired of being angry with him. Between the unshed tears blurring her vision and the trembling of her fingers, she could barely make out the figures on her cards.
“I beg your pardon,” she said, laying down her cards and rising from the table. “I believe I need some air.” When the other men began to rise, she motioned for them to remain in place. Amelia’s eyes flashed concern, and Lily tried to reassure her with a smile. “Don’t
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