Three For The Chair by Rex Stout

fireplace, on my right, was on his left. His name, Papps said, was James Arthur Ferris. I said he must be something scrubby like a valet or a varlet, since he had been stuck in the other baking seat.
    Papps giggled. 'Not a valet, not at all. A very important man, Mr. Ferris. I am responsible for his presence. Mr. Bragan would as soon have invited a cobra, but since he had maneuvered to get the ambassador and Secretary Leeson here I thought it only fair that Mr. Ferris should be invited too, and I insisted. Also I am a man of malice. It entertains me to see big men displaying bad blood. You say you are frying. Why are you frying'Because the table is too close to the fire. Why was it placed too close to the fire'So Mr. Bragan could seat Mr. Ferris where he would be highly uncomfortable. No little man is ever as petty as a big man.'
    My plate empty, I arranged my knife and fork on it according to Hoyle. 'Which are you, little or big?'
    'Neither. I am unbranded. What you Americans call a maverick.'
    'What makes Ferris big?'
    'He represents big interests ' a syndicate of five great oil companies. That is why Mr. Bragan would like to scorch him. Hundreds of millions are at stake. These four days here, we have fished in the morning, squabbled in the afternoon, and fraternized in the evening. Mr. Ferris has gained some ground with the ambassador, but not, I fear, with Secretary Leeson. I find that entertaining. In the end the decision will in effect be mine, and I invite a situation that should mean another ten or twenty million for the government that employs me. If you think I am indiscreet you are wrong. If you repeat what I have said to Mr. Wolfe, and it goes from him to any or all of the others, including Secretary Leeson, I would not reproach you as a chatterbox. I am a man of simple candor. In fact I would go so far as -'
    I didn't get to hear how far a man of guile and malice and simple candor would go, on account of an interruption. James Arthur Ferris suddenly shoved his chair back, not quietly, left it, marched the length of the room to the far wall, a good twenty paces, and took a billiard cue from the rack. All heads turned to him, and probably I wasn't alone with my notion that he was going to march back and take a swing at our host, but he merely put the cue ball on the head spot, and, not bothering with any sawing, smashed it into the cluster. The heads turned to Bragan, and then to one another, in dead silence. I grabbed the opportunity. Bragan's scorching Ferris was nothing to me, but scorching me too was uncalled for, and here was my chance. I got up and went to the billiard table and asked Ferris politely, 'Shall I rack 'em up and we'll lag for the break?'
    He was so damn mad he couldn't speak. He just nodded.
    A couple of hours later, going on ten o'clock, Nero Wolfe said to me, 'Archie. About your leaving the dinner table. You know what I think of any disturbance at a meal.'
    'Yes, sir.'
    We were in his room, bound for bed. Mine was down the hall, and I had stopped in at his by request.
    'I concede,' he said, 'that there may be exceptions, and this was one. Mr. Bragan is either a dunce or a ruffian.'
    'Yeah. Or both. At least I wasn't tied to a stake ' I must remember to thank him. You going fishing tomorrow?'
    'You know I'm not.' Seated, he grunted as he bent over to unlace his shoes. That done, he straightened. 'I inspected the kitchen and equipment, and it will serve. They'll be back at eleven-thirty with the morning's catch, and lunch will be at twelve-thirty. I'll take over the kitchen at ten. The cook is civil and fairly competent. I wish to make an avowal. You were right to oppose this expedition. These people are engaged in bitter and savage combat, with Ambassador Kelefy at the center of it, and in his present humor I doubt if he could distinguish between trout Montbarry and carp fried in lard. As for the others, their mouths would water only at the prospect of long pig. Do you know what that is?'
    I