all the fly gear them feds had ripped to shreds when they tossed our apartment.
I wasn’t just focused on self, though. Back in New York I went in Macy’s to get some thongs, and saw a diamond choker in a markdown case that just screamed Tai’s name. It wasn’t my style, but it was perfect for her. I shopped my ass off and didn’t feel bad for spending almost half of Tollie’s money neither. Shit, I’d been traumatized as fuck by Uncle Swag getting knocked, and shopping helped relax me and make me feel better about myself.
But then I got down on a flip deal with Plat and that nigga did me wrong. He claimed he got beat by a connect and the whole thing went bad. I felt stupid as hell. Instead of turning Tollie’s money over, Plat had turned me over. And fucked me in the ass while he had me in the right position.
“Damn, Saucy,” Tai said. It was almost eleven at night and I was sitting in her kitchen watching her fry some bacon and make blueberry pancakes. “How’s he just gonna do you like that? That shit is messed up. I thought that nigga Plat was cool?”
I groaned and pushed my hair back, then twisted it up into a roll. “I thought he was cool too. But that nigga was jerking me from the gate, girl. He’s still swole because I crossed him out for Akbar. That’s what’s real.”
“Yeah,” Tai agreed. She opened the refrigerator and looked inside. “I’ma scramble me some eggs. Want some?”
I shook my head. Tai’s mother had been walking back and forth. In the kitchen, out the kitchen, past the kitchen. I knew her nosy ass was probably sucking up every word we said.
“So did you ever catch up with him to try and get your money back? What’s he saying about that?” Tai asked.
I sighed. “He ain’t saying shit because I can’t call him. He must be hiding underground somewhere because I can never find him when I’m in Harlem. His number is in my cell phone, but that shit got cut off. Either Aunt Ruthie stopped my service, or maybe nobody paid the bill.”
Tai scrambled her eggs and spread a slice of American cheese on top and let it melt. Then she squirted a gob of ketchup on top of the cheese and poured almost half a bottle of syrup over her pancakes.
“So where you stayin’?” she asked and chewed hard on a piece of slab bacon. Her mother walked past the kitchen again and I waited until I heard her house shoes going down the hall.
“I was gonna ask you to see if your moms’ll let me chill here for a minute.”
I saw the look on Tai’s face. I hadn’t stayed more than two nights in a row at her house ever since that night she had poked a hole in her uterus tryna give herself an abortion when we was fourteen. Somehow Mrs. Watkins got it in her head that the baby and the hysterectomy Tai ended up getting was my damn fault. How?!? I didn’t get Tai pregnant and tell her to wait so long to get rid of it! I didn’t unbend the coat hanger and shove it up her pussy! All I did was sneak her the gin so she could get drunk first!
“Just for a minute, Tai. Maybe a week or two until I can get on my feet.”
Tai stuffed some pancakes in her mouth. “I already know what she’s gone say. But I’ll ask her.”
My stomach felt shaky as I watched Tai grease her plate. I felt like a beggar again. Like that dirty raggedy Saucy nobody gave a damn about. Like that nasty little girl who was so grimy you had to scrub her down before she could come in your house because she might fuck up your child’s sheets.
When Tai finished eating she stood up and put her plate in the sink. “C’mon, Sauce. Lemme ask her before she goes to bed.”
But her moms was standing right there as soon as we stepped out of the kitchen. Before Tai could say a word, her mother beat her to it.
“It’s late, Tai. It’s time for your company to leave. Goodnight, Saucy. Tai, lock the door behind Saucy and make sure you put the chain on it.”
“Ma,” Tai said as her mother turned to walk away. “Ma, I was gone ask
I wasn’t just focused on self, though. Back in New York I went in Macy’s to get some thongs, and saw a diamond choker in a markdown case that just screamed Tai’s name. It wasn’t my style, but it was perfect for her. I shopped my ass off and didn’t feel bad for spending almost half of Tollie’s money neither. Shit, I’d been traumatized as fuck by Uncle Swag getting knocked, and shopping helped relax me and make me feel better about myself.
But then I got down on a flip deal with Plat and that nigga did me wrong. He claimed he got beat by a connect and the whole thing went bad. I felt stupid as hell. Instead of turning Tollie’s money over, Plat had turned me over. And fucked me in the ass while he had me in the right position.
“Damn, Saucy,” Tai said. It was almost eleven at night and I was sitting in her kitchen watching her fry some bacon and make blueberry pancakes. “How’s he just gonna do you like that? That shit is messed up. I thought that nigga Plat was cool?”
I groaned and pushed my hair back, then twisted it up into a roll. “I thought he was cool too. But that nigga was jerking me from the gate, girl. He’s still swole because I crossed him out for Akbar. That’s what’s real.”
“Yeah,” Tai agreed. She opened the refrigerator and looked inside. “I’ma scramble me some eggs. Want some?”
I shook my head. Tai’s mother had been walking back and forth. In the kitchen, out the kitchen, past the kitchen. I knew her nosy ass was probably sucking up every word we said.
“So did you ever catch up with him to try and get your money back? What’s he saying about that?” Tai asked.
I sighed. “He ain’t saying shit because I can’t call him. He must be hiding underground somewhere because I can never find him when I’m in Harlem. His number is in my cell phone, but that shit got cut off. Either Aunt Ruthie stopped my service, or maybe nobody paid the bill.”
Tai scrambled her eggs and spread a slice of American cheese on top and let it melt. Then she squirted a gob of ketchup on top of the cheese and poured almost half a bottle of syrup over her pancakes.
“So where you stayin’?” she asked and chewed hard on a piece of slab bacon. Her mother walked past the kitchen again and I waited until I heard her house shoes going down the hall.
“I was gonna ask you to see if your moms’ll let me chill here for a minute.”
I saw the look on Tai’s face. I hadn’t stayed more than two nights in a row at her house ever since that night she had poked a hole in her uterus tryna give herself an abortion when we was fourteen. Somehow Mrs. Watkins got it in her head that the baby and the hysterectomy Tai ended up getting was my damn fault. How?!? I didn’t get Tai pregnant and tell her to wait so long to get rid of it! I didn’t unbend the coat hanger and shove it up her pussy! All I did was sneak her the gin so she could get drunk first!
“Just for a minute, Tai. Maybe a week or two until I can get on my feet.”
Tai stuffed some pancakes in her mouth. “I already know what she’s gone say. But I’ll ask her.”
My stomach felt shaky as I watched Tai grease her plate. I felt like a beggar again. Like that dirty raggedy Saucy nobody gave a damn about. Like that nasty little girl who was so grimy you had to scrub her down before she could come in your house because she might fuck up your child’s sheets.
When Tai finished eating she stood up and put her plate in the sink. “C’mon, Sauce. Lemme ask her before she goes to bed.”
But her moms was standing right there as soon as we stepped out of the kitchen. Before Tai could say a word, her mother beat her to it.
“It’s late, Tai. It’s time for your company to leave. Goodnight, Saucy. Tai, lock the door behind Saucy and make sure you put the chain on it.”
“Ma,” Tai said as her mother turned to walk away. “Ma, I was gone ask
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