Thomas World by Richard Cox

soundtrack music builds as the numbers change. Guitars join the strings and horns, and then a drumbeat march begins. Upward, upward the music rises, as if hope were written into the very code of the game. I notice a block of song information at the bottom left corner of the screen, like in a music video. The band is Godspeed You! Black Emperor. The song is “Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven.”
    While the game runs, I think about Dick, how he fell into that trance today while I was talking to him. I think again about the likelihood that I would talk to him on this particular day, or that he happened to know about Ant Farm . It’s not very probable, is it? If my life were a film or a novel, you’d probably be calling bullshit by now. But I’m telling you, when I walked into that cafeteria today and saw Dick, the urge to sit down and talk to him was overwhelming. To be honest I didn’t feel like I even had a choice in the matter.
    I focus on the game again and notice my numbers have begun to drop. Safety falls first, into the 80s, then the 70s. Life Meaning drops even farther, into the 50s. The music changes, becoming spooky and insistent and somehow desperate, violins stretching out the same few notes of suspense. Something is wrong, and not only do I not know what it is, I have no idea how to fix it.
    Am I supposed to believe this is what God did? That our world is as pointless to Him as these ants are to me?
    Clearly that’s what Dick believes…if he believes anything. But I feel very differently. Don’t I?
    The music grows steadily spookier, violins screeching. The band is the same but the song is now called “Gathering Storm.” The drums return, marching much faster now, and I get the feeling something is going to happen. The numbers on the screen flip quickly, population growing, indicators dropping.
    I wait.
    Just as the song reaches its maximum intensity, a box appears on the screen. Black text on a translucent white background.
    A title in the top left corner of the box says:

    Prayer from Brett Paulson Ant
    Sex: Male
    Age 24

    And below that, in the middle of the box, I read the first sentence.

    Please help me.

ELEVEN
    T hat tickly, nervous feeling runs down my neck again, into my arms, along my spine. The feeling of being watched has never been as strong as it is at this moment.
    I turn slowly around, looking behind me again, toward the open door. No one is there, and for the first time I wonder if maybe I’m looking in the wrong direction. Maybe I can’t look anywhere because what I’m looking for can’t be seen.

    Please help me.

    Each ant is meant to be a unique, self-aware intelligence, I realize that, but let’s be realistic. Even if this is a very advanced game, that doesn’t change the essential nature of the situation. My PC is not a supercomputer, and I downloaded this application free off the Internet.
    Here is the rest of the message:

    My father is dying. There was a terrible storm and many homes were washed away. I found him among the ruins of our village, lying in a puddle of water. He could barely breathe.

    I managed to move him to a dry place, but he doesn’t seem to be improving. I’m afraid he might die. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose my father. He means the world to me. I’ve spent my life trying to prove myself to him, and I want him to see me succeed in life before he dies. Can you help him, please? Can you save him? His name is Robert Paulson.

    Now, I know (like everyone should know) this prayer was written by the developers so it could be deployed in a specific situation during the game. What I am being asked to believe, instead, is there are self-aware electronic creatures living in my computer. Multiplying in there and dying in there.
    And praying in there. To me.
    Say for a moment it were true. What are the ants like? Do they realize they are inside a computer? Or do they believe