This Man Confessed by Jodi Ellen Malpas

“Talk?”
    He nods sheepishly. “Please.”
    “What is there to talk about? You’ve done the most underhanded thing possible. Nothing you could say will make me understand this. This is my life!”
    “But you knew I was taking them.”
    “Yes, I did! But perhaps because of all the other shit you’ve thrown on me since I’ve met you, I didn’t consider how fucked-up this really is. Wanting to keep me isn’t good enough. That’s not a decision you get to make on your own!” I try to calm myself, but I’m fighting a losing battle. “What about me?” I scream in his face. “What about what I want?”
    “But I love you.”
    My grip on my bag tightens until my fingers are numb. I’m seriously losing the plot. I walk past him and quickly make my way downstairs.
    “Ava!”
    I ignore him and keep going. The anger bubbling inside me has shocked me as much as it’s shocked Jesse. This is past controlling. This is unforgivable. I don’t want a baby.
    “Ava, stay. I’ll do anything.” His heavy footsteps are close behind me, but he’s nude, and as much as I know that he has no shame, I know he wouldn’t run out in public completely naked.
    When I reach the door, I turn to face him. “You’ll do anything?”
    “Yes. You know that.” His terrified face nearly makes me throw my arms around his big shoulders. But if I let this one go, then I’m setting myself up for a lifetime of manipulating. I can’t do that. We need some time apart. This is too intense, and perhaps I should have thought about that before I married him, but it’s too late now. I might have made the biggest mistake of my life.
    “Then you’ll give me some space.”
    I walk out.

Chapter Seven
    K ate’s not at home, so I let myself in and make my way upstairs to my old room. After sitting on the bed for an eternity ignoring Massive Attack’s “Angel,” I finally drag myself up and have a long shower. Under the hot spray, I soap everywhere, running the sponge absentmindedly over my body and pausing when I reach my stomach. I feel devoid of any emotion. There are no natural motherly instincts in me that make me want to caress my tummy. I’ve never given motherhood a second thought. I’m too young, and I have a flourishing career to concentrate on. He had no right to do this. But he had no right to claim me so aggressively, yet he did. He has no right to dictate what I wear, but he does. And he has no right to trample all over my life with his overbearing, unreasonable, and challenging ways…but he does. And I let him. I fight him on many things, but he mostly gets his way. Not on this, though. I have accepted many things where Jesse is concerned, but I absolutely cannot accept this. And I won’t.
    I remove myself from the shower and dry myself off before crossing the landing to my room and throwing on a baggy T-shirt and some sweatpants. Then I crawl into the cold sheets of my old bed. It’s hard, it’s lumpy, and it hasn’t got Jesse in it, but I’m on my own, and it’s where I need to be right now.
    *  *  *
    I wake up to shouting—very loud shouting. Pulling the sheets back, I slip out of bed and pad across my room, opening the door quietly.
    “I said it’s over!” Kate screams. “This isn’t going anywhere!”
    Oh shit, I shouldn’t be listening to this, but my curiosity is getting the better of me. I can see Kate’s back down the hallway, and I pray the next person who I’m going to see will be Dan. But it’s not. It’s Sam. My already aching heart takes a further nosedive for my troubled best friend.
    “Kate, come on.” Sam’s voice is beseeching and a little confused.
    “Just go, Sam.” She stomps off across the landing, straight into the kitchen where she’s obviously opening and slamming every cupboard door in sight. Sam follows her in.
    “What’s brought all this on?” he asks. “What’s changed?”
    “Nothing!” There’s a further collection of bangs before she’s coming back out of the