This is Living (Living #1.5) by Melody Dawn Page B

my head in agreement and he says he will call ahead to schedule an OR and to get me set up in a patient room. He squeezes my shoulder and apologizes before walking out.
    Once he leaves, I cry until I vomit. Mia tries to help me clean up and says she will wait with me until the ambulance gets here. I ask why an ambulance and she says they don’t want me driving while I’m so upset.
    While we wait, I ask what I’ve been wondering from the time I found out I was pregnant…what was the sex of the baby?
    “Chloe, I don’t think it’s a good idea…”
    “Mia, turn the ultrasound unit around so I can see my child one last time before it’s sucked out of me.”
    Smiling through my tears, I say, “I want to know if it would have been indoor or outdoor plumbing.”
    She pulls the machine over to me and says, “I don’t think I should do this, but I’m going to because I would want the same thing.”
    Turning the screen around, she points to my very still baby and says quietly, “indoor plumbing.”
    I place my hands over my stomach and feel the bump that is now my dead little girl. I wonder if she would have looked like me or Jayson or a combination of us both. Would she have had a personality like Ava? Most likely, she would have. A little diva princess that would have helped me bling and bedazzle everything in sight while driving her big brothers crazy. Jayson doesn’t have to worry now about any boys going after his little girl.
    My phone rings as I lay there waiting for the ambulance to arrive. It rings and rings and rings without stopping. I know I’m bring cruel for not answering it, but I don’t really care right now.
    Mia finally says, “Chloe, you have to answer the phone. You can’t punish him because he didn’t make it here. He’s not the reason this has happened.”
    With a sigh, I call him back and he sounds panicked. “Chloe, what the hell is going on?”
    “Your baby is dead; it was a girl, and I’m about to be taken to the hospital to have a D&C. And you left me alone…again.”
    I hang up the phone without hearing what he has to say and I cry again. I hate myself for being so cruel. I can’t believe I just did that. I need him to feel the pain I’m feeling. And now I can’t take it back. Just like 9 years ago, when I crushed him, once again only thinking of myself.
    Mia doesn’t say anything and I turn on my side to face the wall. Without my noticing, she grabs my phone and walks out of the exam room.
    A few minutes later, she walks back into the room, places her hand on my shoulder, and lays the phone next to me on the bed.
    In a soft voice, she says, “I called Jayson back and explained everything. I told him there was no sense in him coming here when you are about to be there. He’s going to be waiting for you when you get there. He says he’s sorry…”
    Before she can give me some reason why he wasn’t there, I say, “Stop, Mia. I don’t want to talk anymore.”
                  Hearing my words, she leaves the room and I wait until the ambulance arrives.
    A text comes through from Jayson’s number with a single word:
    Jayson: Sorry.
    Chloe: I know.
    I text back with tears in my eyes.
    The EMT’s come through the door at that point and help me onto the stretcher. Thankfully, Mia has given them all my information so I have to answer very few questions. Though it’s a short distance, they take my vitals for their report, and then leave me alone with my thoughts.
    Once we reach the hospital, one of the medics opens the back doors and as they pull my stretcher out, I see Jayson waiting at the front of the ER. He looks like he’s been sucker punched.
    When he sees it’s me, he runs to me and grabs my hand. Neither of us say a word and he moves aside to let them push me in through the ER ambulance entrance, while never letting go.
    I see Tanya waiting for me. With tears in her eyes, she directs the medics to an ER room until either my patient room or the OR is