This Book is Gay by James Dawson Page B

other aspects of transition which you didn’t even tangentially ask about, so I won’t go into them all, but just to name a few: There’s the social side – telling one’s friends (and, generally, losing most of them); telling one’s family; losing any spouse and children that one might have. There’s the clothing side, presenting as oneself regarding attire, hair, make-up and so forth. There’s the legal side, fighting with every single political and corporate entity that you had no idea even existed – I currently can’t open a Verizon Internet-service account in my new apartment because, in my new legal name, I have no credit history. Then there’s the fact that, as a woman who plays video games, I face a hell of a lot of name-calling and hate speech from the twenty-something males who inhabit the same virtual spaces as me. And there’s the fact that software development, my profession, is at least ninety-five per cent male.
    I wouldn’t trade any of these problems for the world. I am so, so glad to have them.

CHAPTER 8:
WHERE TO MEET PEOPLE LIKE YOU

    Do you like the following things:
Holding hands?
Kissing?
Picking the devil mushrooms off your pizza and giving them to someone else?
Sex?
Hugs?
Watching TV while snuggling?
The idea of any of these things?
    If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, then I’m afraid, sooner or later, you’ll have to meet someone. You’ll note that none of the activities are one-player games. Self-hugging is only for people in straitjackets.
    As previously mentioned, LGB* people are in a minority. MOST people identify as heterosexual, therefore finding someone the same gender as you who wants to hug and hold hands with you is that little bit tougher.
    Clearly, being trans has nothing to do with your sexuality. Some trans people will be gay, others will be straight. Later in this chapter, we’ll talk about the specific issues trans people might have when meeting someone.
    You probably won’t BELIEVE this but, once upon a time, gay men used to hang coloured bandanas out of their back pockets to signal that they were gay and what kind of sexyfuntime they liked. Complicated much? Also, with rainbow-colour hankies dangling from their bums, you can only imagine they looked like My Little Ponies.
    Luckily, LGB* people have emerged from the shadows. The days of gay or bi people hiding away in unmarked subterranean bars and clubs are over (although those clubs do still exist and they serve a function, as we’ll discuss later). We have trendy bars and hip clubs for the over eighteens, and websites, organisations, clubs, marches and more for everyone – all designed to help us meet potential partners or friends.
The Look of Love
    Ancient gay scholars (me and my friends) have often posited that there is a MYSTICAL SIXTH SENSE that allows homo-inclined people to sense when our own kind is close at hand. We are sex mediums, if you like: ‘There is a gay in this house … yes … yes, the presence is strong now … he’s definitely a gay.’
    This gay radar became known as GAYDAR.

    Of course, members of the LGB* community do not possess magical powers (or at least that’s what we want regular people to think …). Instead, gaydar is a developed talent whereby we get good at reading body language.
    How to hone your gaydar:
So you see someone you like the look of …
The first step is CLOCK THE STEREOTYPES. As discussed, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, and some men and women do have a ‘gay look’, probably BECAUSE we sometimes want to advertise ourselves to potential mates. A beardy guy wearing a leather harness IS likely to be gay (or a gladiator). Sadly, nearly all LGB* people are far more ambiguous than that, so we need further help.
Look for SUSTAINED EYE CONTACT. This is by far the best gaydar at your disposal. I’m going to be super honest. Women (who I like an