try not to shriek at how hot the damn thing is.
“And that night when you bought me that giant heart cookie. We sat right here at this table.” I can’t figure out how her voice manages to come out both high and breathy at the same time. “You were so sweet, having them write our names on it in that pink swirly frosting. And then that day—”
She’s launches into another story, another coffee shop memory. I’m getting the gist of where this is going, but I have no idea what to do about it. Logan is a nice girl. I don’t want to hurt her. But it’s clear, to me, at least, that we’re not going to be able to pick up where things left off last August.
“You had that foam mustache, and you were walking around like you didn’t know, and . . . ”
I grab my cup to give my hands something to do. Take a sip, try to ignore the fact that a layer of skin’s been scalded off the roof of my mouth.
“—that time you built the tower out of milk containers and the owner took a picture.” She hops up, dances over to the counter. “Wow! It’s still there, Marsh. Look!”
I do. It is. A face that doesn’t look anything like mine smiles at me from behind the milk container creation.
I head back to my seat and study my coffee cup. There’s a little saying written on the side. “The truth shall set you free.” What the hell is this, some kind of conspiracy?
I know I have to do it. Tell Logan what she thinks we had is over, that things—that I’m different now. Courage, though, it isn’t one of my stronger qualities.
She plops down next to me now and her ponytail whips my face. I can smell her shampoo. Some kind of fruit scent.“Remember when we drove up to the lake and it was so dark you could see, like, every star?”
Her voice flutters over me, and I make myself nod. Because I do remember that night. It was the four of us. My brother. Kate. Me. Logan. It must’ve been end of July, right before football practice started, I’m thinking now. He drove and I was a little pissed off about it. But then I didn’t care anymore because I could sit in the back seat with her. Kiss her. We didn’t mind either, that they were in the front seat. It was kind of crazy, how caught up we could get in each other. Like all you can think about are your hands on her and her hands on you.
Logan’s right how we could see the stars that night. Ten miles out of town and it’s like another world. The girls spread out a blanket in the grass and we curled up on it, joking about how squished we were. Once, I turned my head and checked out what my brother was doing. He lifted up a little and we grinned at each other. He wasn’t thinking about the stars either. And then she was pressing her lips against my neck.
“I’m sorry,” Logan says, and I jerk my face toward her. “I shouldn’t have brought that up, that night, because he—you probably don’t want to think about—”
“No, I mean, yeah.” I take a glug of coffee. Somehow it’s still burning my throat skin. “So,” I say, because a thought occurs to me, “you ever see Kate anymore?”
Logan sighs. “Not really. She’s kind of . . . I don’t know.”
I do know. Even lost in my fog, I’ve caught glimpses of Kate stumbling around the school hallways. And now I knowshe’s been out there haunting the accident site too. The love of her life is dead. Without meaning to, I let out a strangled moan.
“I know. I feel horrible for her,” Logan says. “She’s a wreck. Have you seen her? She’s like a skeleton.” She purses her lips together. “I tried to talk to her. I mean, she was my best friend. I didn’t just drop her. But she’s the one who won’t talk to me, you know?”
I nod and swallow more coffee. I can’t even feel the inside of my mouth anymore.
“I get it. She lost him, and then she looks at us, and she’s probably, like, sick about it.” Logan shakes her head and her fruity hair odor swirls around me. “I know it’s not the same
“And that night when you bought me that giant heart cookie. We sat right here at this table.” I can’t figure out how her voice manages to come out both high and breathy at the same time. “You were so sweet, having them write our names on it in that pink swirly frosting. And then that day—”
She’s launches into another story, another coffee shop memory. I’m getting the gist of where this is going, but I have no idea what to do about it. Logan is a nice girl. I don’t want to hurt her. But it’s clear, to me, at least, that we’re not going to be able to pick up where things left off last August.
“You had that foam mustache, and you were walking around like you didn’t know, and . . . ”
I grab my cup to give my hands something to do. Take a sip, try to ignore the fact that a layer of skin’s been scalded off the roof of my mouth.
“—that time you built the tower out of milk containers and the owner took a picture.” She hops up, dances over to the counter. “Wow! It’s still there, Marsh. Look!”
I do. It is. A face that doesn’t look anything like mine smiles at me from behind the milk container creation.
I head back to my seat and study my coffee cup. There’s a little saying written on the side. “The truth shall set you free.” What the hell is this, some kind of conspiracy?
I know I have to do it. Tell Logan what she thinks we had is over, that things—that I’m different now. Courage, though, it isn’t one of my stronger qualities.
She plops down next to me now and her ponytail whips my face. I can smell her shampoo. Some kind of fruit scent.“Remember when we drove up to the lake and it was so dark you could see, like, every star?”
Her voice flutters over me, and I make myself nod. Because I do remember that night. It was the four of us. My brother. Kate. Me. Logan. It must’ve been end of July, right before football practice started, I’m thinking now. He drove and I was a little pissed off about it. But then I didn’t care anymore because I could sit in the back seat with her. Kiss her. We didn’t mind either, that they were in the front seat. It was kind of crazy, how caught up we could get in each other. Like all you can think about are your hands on her and her hands on you.
Logan’s right how we could see the stars that night. Ten miles out of town and it’s like another world. The girls spread out a blanket in the grass and we curled up on it, joking about how squished we were. Once, I turned my head and checked out what my brother was doing. He lifted up a little and we grinned at each other. He wasn’t thinking about the stars either. And then she was pressing her lips against my neck.
“I’m sorry,” Logan says, and I jerk my face toward her. “I shouldn’t have brought that up, that night, because he—you probably don’t want to think about—”
“No, I mean, yeah.” I take a glug of coffee. Somehow it’s still burning my throat skin. “So,” I say, because a thought occurs to me, “you ever see Kate anymore?”
Logan sighs. “Not really. She’s kind of . . . I don’t know.”
I do know. Even lost in my fog, I’ve caught glimpses of Kate stumbling around the school hallways. And now I knowshe’s been out there haunting the accident site too. The love of her life is dead. Without meaning to, I let out a strangled moan.
“I know. I feel horrible for her,” Logan says. “She’s a wreck. Have you seen her? She’s like a skeleton.” She purses her lips together. “I tried to talk to her. I mean, she was my best friend. I didn’t just drop her. But she’s the one who won’t talk to me, you know?”
I nod and swallow more coffee. I can’t even feel the inside of my mouth anymore.
“I get it. She lost him, and then she looks at us, and she’s probably, like, sick about it.” Logan shakes her head and her fruity hair odor swirls around me. “I know it’s not the same
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