faintly.
“What happened with the groceries?” Cade asked.
She blinked in surprise at the abrupt change in topic. For a moment, she couldn’t remember what she’d done with the groceries. They were the very last thing on her mind. The minute the two men had kissed her, thoughts of anything else had fled.
“I, uh, left them at the store. The cashier said they’d keep them there in the cart if I wanted to go back for them, but they wouldn’t hold them for long because they didn’t want anything to spoil. I’m sure she thought I was a complete moron. They’ve probably already put everything back.”
Cade reached for the keys she held in her other hand. “Okay, I’m going to go see about the groceries, and when I get back, we’ll have that talk. You’re right. It’s time. There are some things we need to get out in the open.”
She swallowed nervously, but then Cade leaned in, kissed her hard and then was gone in the next second.
C H A P T E R F I F T E E N
ELLE TOOK REFUGE IN THE bathroom as soon as Cade left. She stared at herself in the mirror and thought she looked scared and off balance.
She frowned. Damn but she was tired of being afraid. She wanted her life back but not in the sense that she wanted whatever she’d come from before. She wanted a normal life now . Right where she was. She wanted the reassurance of knowing who she was and that she had a place in this world. But she didn’t want that knowledge to change a single thing about her life now. She just wanted…peace. And to be able to offer Cade and Merrick something more than a helpless, dependent freak who didn’t even remember her past.
Her biggest fear was that when her memory came back it would destroy her present, which was laughable given she didn’t have a present.
She had nothing.
She was surrounded by people who gave her the hope of having this life, and yet she was living a farce. This wasn’t hers. But she wanted it to be. She wanted to go with Merrick to his title fight. Wanted to be there when he won and to join in the celebration. She wanted to have a role in Cade’s business, be instrumental in his work on a daily basis.
Was she asking too much? And was she not trying hard enough to remember her old life? Was she subconsciously sabotaging her efforts by suppressing her memories?
In the beginning, Cade and Merrick had wanted to launch their own investigation. Get with a few of their friends on the police force. Search missing persons records. Even put her picture on local news broadcasts then go wide on the Internet.
The mere thought had sent such irrational panic and fear through her that she still couldn’t bear to think of it. She didn’t know much about her past, but she knew that if she didn’t stay hidden, he would find her. And she didn’t even know who he was.
Stupid bitch. I’m going to kill you, but first I’m going to have what he’s been having.
The words popped into her head like they’d been read off a cue card. Only, the voice wasn’t hers. It was a man’s. It struck ice in her veins, and she knew without question she was remembering what had happened right before he raped her.
She leaned over and pressed her forehead to the counter, sucking in deep, steadying breaths.
What did it mean?
She shook her head, not wanting to remember. She wanted his voice out of her head. She never wanted to hear it again. Never wanted that prickle at her nape or the instant tightening in her belly. It was the closest she’d come to having any memory at all of her violation or the events after.
She didn’t want it to come back!
If she never remembered what had been forced upon her, it would be just fine with her. She didn’t need that part of her past. Forgetting was the kindest thing that could have happened to her even if she sacrificed her identity in the process.
“Elle, are you all right in there?”
Merrick’s voice through the door startled her, but at the same time, she was so
“What happened with the groceries?” Cade asked.
She blinked in surprise at the abrupt change in topic. For a moment, she couldn’t remember what she’d done with the groceries. They were the very last thing on her mind. The minute the two men had kissed her, thoughts of anything else had fled.
“I, uh, left them at the store. The cashier said they’d keep them there in the cart if I wanted to go back for them, but they wouldn’t hold them for long because they didn’t want anything to spoil. I’m sure she thought I was a complete moron. They’ve probably already put everything back.”
Cade reached for the keys she held in her other hand. “Okay, I’m going to go see about the groceries, and when I get back, we’ll have that talk. You’re right. It’s time. There are some things we need to get out in the open.”
She swallowed nervously, but then Cade leaned in, kissed her hard and then was gone in the next second.
C H A P T E R F I F T E E N
ELLE TOOK REFUGE IN THE bathroom as soon as Cade left. She stared at herself in the mirror and thought she looked scared and off balance.
She frowned. Damn but she was tired of being afraid. She wanted her life back but not in the sense that she wanted whatever she’d come from before. She wanted a normal life now . Right where she was. She wanted the reassurance of knowing who she was and that she had a place in this world. But she didn’t want that knowledge to change a single thing about her life now. She just wanted…peace. And to be able to offer Cade and Merrick something more than a helpless, dependent freak who didn’t even remember her past.
Her biggest fear was that when her memory came back it would destroy her present, which was laughable given she didn’t have a present.
She had nothing.
She was surrounded by people who gave her the hope of having this life, and yet she was living a farce. This wasn’t hers. But she wanted it to be. She wanted to go with Merrick to his title fight. Wanted to be there when he won and to join in the celebration. She wanted to have a role in Cade’s business, be instrumental in his work on a daily basis.
Was she asking too much? And was she not trying hard enough to remember her old life? Was she subconsciously sabotaging her efforts by suppressing her memories?
In the beginning, Cade and Merrick had wanted to launch their own investigation. Get with a few of their friends on the police force. Search missing persons records. Even put her picture on local news broadcasts then go wide on the Internet.
The mere thought had sent such irrational panic and fear through her that she still couldn’t bear to think of it. She didn’t know much about her past, but she knew that if she didn’t stay hidden, he would find her. And she didn’t even know who he was.
Stupid bitch. I’m going to kill you, but first I’m going to have what he’s been having.
The words popped into her head like they’d been read off a cue card. Only, the voice wasn’t hers. It was a man’s. It struck ice in her veins, and she knew without question she was remembering what had happened right before he raped her.
She leaned over and pressed her forehead to the counter, sucking in deep, steadying breaths.
What did it mean?
She shook her head, not wanting to remember. She wanted his voice out of her head. She never wanted to hear it again. Never wanted that prickle at her nape or the instant tightening in her belly. It was the closest she’d come to having any memory at all of her violation or the events after.
She didn’t want it to come back!
If she never remembered what had been forced upon her, it would be just fine with her. She didn’t need that part of her past. Forgetting was the kindest thing that could have happened to her even if she sacrificed her identity in the process.
“Elle, are you all right in there?”
Merrick’s voice through the door startled her, but at the same time, she was so
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