took their mugs and placed them in the
dishwasher.
“Goodnight. Jesse, we’re so proud of you.” She hugged him and then kissed me
on
the
cheek.
“Be
nice,”
she
whispered
to
me.
“I’m proud of you, son,” my grandfather said and patted him on the shoulder.
“Thank you for coming today. It means a lot to me.” Jesse gave them a warm,
heartfelt
smile.
“Lock up for us,” Grandpa said, and they left the room heading upstairs to their
bedroom.
I got up and poured more coffee into my cup. I didn’t speak and neither did Jesse.
He just sat there with this look on his face, an unreadable expression. I had no
idea what he was thinking. A million thoughts were running through my mind.
How were we going to make this work if we were going to be so far away from
each
other?
“Coffee?”
I
asked
with
slight
anger
in
my
tone.
“Sure,”
he
said,
his
tone
quick
and
short.
I walked to the table and slid the cup in his direction. I sat down and looked at
him. He picked up his mug and held to his lips and sipped it slowly.
“When
were
you
going
to
tell
me?”
I
asked.
“It just happened.” He put his mug down on the table and rubbed his hand against
his
temple.
“It couldn’t have just happened, Jesse. You had to apply.” I was being terse.
He leaned in closer to me, his hands on the table. “I applied everywhere, Finn.
There aren’t a lot of job openings right now, especially for guys right out of
school.”
“Well,
it
would’ve
been
nice
to
hear
before
tonight.”
He frowned and shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re mad about this.”
“You
can’t
believe
I’m
mad?”
I
said
indignantly.
“Well... yeah. It’s an interview. You should be happy for me.”
“You
should’ve
told
me,
Jesse.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. He shook his head and closed his eyes.
“You’re
being
selfish,
Finn.”
“How?”
I
raised
my
voice.
“I need to get a job, Finn,” his voice was quiet. “What difference does it make if
I’m
working
in
South
Carolina
or
North
Carolina?”
“It matters, Jesse. The further away you are, the bigger the distance between us.”
I meant that in more ways than one and he could tell. Jesse was smart. He could
read
me.
“I don’t see it that way,” he said. “It doesn’t matter where I live, Finn. I could be in
Kansas. I’m committed one hundred percent to you, don’t you see that?”
I shook my head. “How can we have a relationship if we’re hundreds of miles
apart from each other? What are we going to do? See each other on holidays
and breaks if our schedules permit. We’ll be lucky if we get more than a few
weeks
out
of
the
year
together.
That’s
not
dating.”
It was true. I was confessing things I had thought about for a while but had been
too afraid to say out loud. I was scared out of my wits. What was happening to
us?
What
was
I
saying?
Why
was
this
happening?
“What you’re saying makes no sense,” he said in a frustrated voice. “It wouldn’t
have been that different if I got a job near here. It’s still far away from your school.”
“It’s different. If you’re near here, it’s like you’re home. If you’re up there, it’s like
you have another life in another place,” I said. “Without me,” I added quietly. “I
want
things
to
stay
the
same.”
“They’ll be the same between us. Our feelings won’t change.”
“It’ll be different, Jesse. Our relationship won’t be the same, not with you working
and
me
in
school.
It’s
going
to
change.”
“Nothing’s going to change, Finn. Can’t you see that?” he asked.
“It’ll
change,
Jesse,”
I
answered.
He sighed heavily. “Do you even know what you want? I know what I want, but
do
you,
Finn?”
“I want it all to be the same.” That’s what I wanted. I wanted it to be perfect
dishwasher.
“Goodnight. Jesse, we’re so proud of you.” She hugged him and then kissed me
on
the
cheek.
“Be
nice,”
she
whispered
to
me.
“I’m proud of you, son,” my grandfather said and patted him on the shoulder.
“Thank you for coming today. It means a lot to me.” Jesse gave them a warm,
heartfelt
smile.
“Lock up for us,” Grandpa said, and they left the room heading upstairs to their
bedroom.
I got up and poured more coffee into my cup. I didn’t speak and neither did Jesse.
He just sat there with this look on his face, an unreadable expression. I had no
idea what he was thinking. A million thoughts were running through my mind.
How were we going to make this work if we were going to be so far away from
each
other?
“Coffee?”
I
asked
with
slight
anger
in
my
tone.
“Sure,”
he
said,
his
tone
quick
and
short.
I walked to the table and slid the cup in his direction. I sat down and looked at
him. He picked up his mug and held to his lips and sipped it slowly.
“When
were
you
going
to
tell
me?”
I
asked.
“It just happened.” He put his mug down on the table and rubbed his hand against
his
temple.
“It couldn’t have just happened, Jesse. You had to apply.” I was being terse.
He leaned in closer to me, his hands on the table. “I applied everywhere, Finn.
There aren’t a lot of job openings right now, especially for guys right out of
school.”
“Well,
it
would’ve
been
nice
to
hear
before
tonight.”
He frowned and shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re mad about this.”
“You
can’t
believe
I’m
mad?”
I
said
indignantly.
“Well... yeah. It’s an interview. You should be happy for me.”
“You
should’ve
told
me,
Jesse.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. He shook his head and closed his eyes.
“You’re
being
selfish,
Finn.”
“How?”
I
raised
my
voice.
“I need to get a job, Finn,” his voice was quiet. “What difference does it make if
I’m
working
in
South
Carolina
or
North
Carolina?”
“It matters, Jesse. The further away you are, the bigger the distance between us.”
I meant that in more ways than one and he could tell. Jesse was smart. He could
read
me.
“I don’t see it that way,” he said. “It doesn’t matter where I live, Finn. I could be in
Kansas. I’m committed one hundred percent to you, don’t you see that?”
I shook my head. “How can we have a relationship if we’re hundreds of miles
apart from each other? What are we going to do? See each other on holidays
and breaks if our schedules permit. We’ll be lucky if we get more than a few
weeks
out
of
the
year
together.
That’s
not
dating.”
It was true. I was confessing things I had thought about for a while but had been
too afraid to say out loud. I was scared out of my wits. What was happening to
us?
What
was
I
saying?
Why
was
this
happening?
“What you’re saying makes no sense,” he said in a frustrated voice. “It wouldn’t
have been that different if I got a job near here. It’s still far away from your school.”
“It’s different. If you’re near here, it’s like you’re home. If you’re up there, it’s like
you have another life in another place,” I said. “Without me,” I added quietly. “I
want
things
to
stay
the
same.”
“They’ll be the same between us. Our feelings won’t change.”
“It’ll be different, Jesse. Our relationship won’t be the same, not with you working
and
me
in
school.
It’s
going
to
change.”
“Nothing’s going to change, Finn. Can’t you see that?” he asked.
“It’ll
change,
Jesse,”
I
answered.
He sighed heavily. “Do you even know what you want? I know what I want, but
do
you,
Finn?”
“I want it all to be the same.” That’s what I wanted. I wanted it to be perfect
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