The World According to Humphrey by Betty G. Birney

and Mrs. Brisbane spent most of the rest of the day building an obstacle course on the coffee table in the den. They lined up boards along the side (so I couldn’t stray too far) and then they set up things for me to climb over and climb under, like bricks with holes to hide in and big cardboard tubes, and Mr. Brisbane constructed a series of ramps for me to climb. Oh, we had a wonderful day. Mr. Brisbane got out a stopwatch to time me on my runs and they made bets on how long it would take me to get from start to finish. Mrs. Brisbane even added a few treats to the maze: bits of apple and biscuit. I had FUN-FUN-FUN. The Brisbanes did, too. I could tell.
    On Sunday afternoon, the Brisbanes invited their neighbors over to watch me run my maze. Mr. and Mrs. Robinson brought their five-year-old twins along.
    “Glad to see you looking so chipper,” Mr. Robinson told Mr. Brisbane.
    “I think he’s finally feeling better,” Mrs. Brisbane whispered to Mrs. Robinson.
    Mr. Brisbane looked a little vinegary again on Monday morning, though. “Why can’t we keep him here, Sue?” he asked.
    “The children would never forgive me,” she told him. “He’s really their hamster. But . . .” She grinned. “There’s a two-week Christmas vacation coming up soon. I think Humphrey better spend it here.”
    Could I believe my cute, furry ears? She liked me so much, she actually wanted me to come back! This was a whole new Mrs. Brisbane. One who liked me.
    By the time Mrs. Brisbane and I returned to Room 26, I was pretty tired. But it was a good tired and I knew I could rest up from my weekend during recess.
    TIP FOURTEEN: Hamsters should be let out of their cages to run in a closed environment for an hour or two at a time.
     
    Guide to the Care and Feeding of Hamsters, Dr. Harvey H. Hammer

15
    Happy Hamsterday
    I n December, things in Room 26 really began to change. For one thing, it got cold outside and a little chilly by my window. In the early morning, frost pictures would appear on the glass. One picture looked like a big snowflake. Another looked like a lion. Scary.
    Still, it was nice and cozy in my sleeping house.
    More snowflakes appeared. Not real ones, but cutout paper snowflakes, bordering all the chalkboards. And there were snowmen made of fluffy cotton and pictures of candles and packages and sleighs.
    The holidays were almost here: Christmas and Chanukah and Kwanzaa! There were songs to be sung and presents to be wrapped and a big two-week vacation to come!
    The weekend after Thanksgiving break, I went home with Pay-Attention-Art. He paid a lot of attention to me.
    But sometimes—not every night—during the week, Mrs. Brisbane would take me home to see Mr. Brisbane and he’d put up his obstacle course and we’d laugh and squeak and have a wonderful time.
    The next weekend I stayed at Gail Morgenstern’s house. Friday night was really nice because she convinced her mom to let me watch while she lit the menorah for the family. And the food was yummy.
    I was glad that Mrs. Brisbane didn’t take me home every night. For one thing, if I ran the obstacle course every night, I’d probably waste away to nothing. For another thing, I wouldn’t have been able to see Aldo.
    Aldo could now balance the broom on his head. Yep, he’d put the tip of the broomstick on top of his head and keep it up there a while. He’d have to bob and weave to keep it balanced and he made funny faces, too.
    But one night during the week, Aldo pulled his chair up close to my cage and said, “Humphrey, old pal, I’ve got something to discuss.”
    This sounded serious, so I put on my most serious, problem-solving face.
    “I’m thinking of getting Maria a ring for Christmas. You know, like an engagement ring. With something shiny in it. I know, we haven’t known each other very long. And we wouldn’t have to get married right away. On the other hand, I’m no spring chicken and I’d like to settle down and raise a couple of kids and maybe