The Women of Duck Commander by Kay Robertson, Jessica Robertson Page B
Authors: Kay Robertson, Jessica Robertson
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everything over to my Lord.
While Alan and I were apart, I lived with our next-door neighbors, who also happened to be our closest friends at the time and remain that way today. I went to their house so I could give Alan the space he needed and still take care of our home and our girls. Alan was not mean or ugly to me, but at the same time, he would not touch me or talk to me about anything except matters concerning the girls. I desperately wanted him to know what God was doing in my life, but I knew he did not trust me, so I kept a respectful distance.
T OGETHER A GAIN
One night Alan called me and asked me to meet him. I was afraid and excited at the same time. We talked a long time about reconciliation and what it would take to survive all the trauma our marriage had endured and to renew our relationship. By the end of the conversation, I was filled with hope, but I also knew that because Jesus had by then replaced Alan as the Lord of my life, I could survive no matter what happened with us.
At that time, I was seeing a wonderful counselor who was helping me through so much. After Alan and I talked that night, we started meeting with her together. I was learning that I had to forgive all of those who had sinned against me in my past (like the family member who abused me), and I was learning to build honesty and integrity into every decision I made. I learned that I did not exist to please men, but that God had created me with a unique and special purpose to please Him. I also learned to love God’s Word in a whole new way, especially the Psalms and the Proverbs, which were my food during this deep look at myself. One of my new favorite verses was Proverbs 24:26, which says, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” I determined that honesty with God, with myself, and with Alan was going to be one of my new character traits!
After about two months of being separated, Alan and I were reconciled. We renewed our vows to each other and bought new rings to signify our new beginning. We did not do any of this publicly, but just between ourselves, because we wanted it to be about God and about our starting something new and special. We continued our counseling together until we felt ready to begin a newly healed life and marriage.
S TILL G OING S TRONG
Alan and I are still going strong; we are more in love than ever and we have done our best to use the pain we have been through to help as many other people as we can. Our whole story is much longer and more complicated than I can share in this book. What I reallywant to communicate is that with God’s help, a commitment to live by His Word, a loving family, a support system of fellow Christians, good counseling, and enough time, anything a person has been through can be healed, restored, and redeemed.
I have learned many valuable lessons during my life and in my journey as a Robertson—many of them the hard way through pain and difficulty. I can never say enough about how grateful I am that Alan and his family chose to forgive me, but one of the most important lessons I had to learn was to forgive myself. Without that, the forgiveness Alan, our daughters, our family, and our friends have extended to me would have been compromised. Had I never been able to forgive myself, I would have stayed stuck in my pain while others were moving on.
T HERE I S H OPE FOR Y OU
To people who have been through situations similar to mine, especially those who have experienced abuse or unfaithfulness on any level, I would say you can always come home to Christ. He is big enough to handle anything you have done or anything that has been done to you. His sacrifice on the cross is enough to cover anything.
Human beings can do a lot of bad things, but nothing you can do will cause Him to turn His back on you. No matter what has happened, refuse to live one more day as a victim. Know that Christ forgives you, and let that empower you to forgive yourself for even the biggest things.
I
While Alan and I were apart, I lived with our next-door neighbors, who also happened to be our closest friends at the time and remain that way today. I went to their house so I could give Alan the space he needed and still take care of our home and our girls. Alan was not mean or ugly to me, but at the same time, he would not touch me or talk to me about anything except matters concerning the girls. I desperately wanted him to know what God was doing in my life, but I knew he did not trust me, so I kept a respectful distance.
T OGETHER A GAIN
One night Alan called me and asked me to meet him. I was afraid and excited at the same time. We talked a long time about reconciliation and what it would take to survive all the trauma our marriage had endured and to renew our relationship. By the end of the conversation, I was filled with hope, but I also knew that because Jesus had by then replaced Alan as the Lord of my life, I could survive no matter what happened with us.
At that time, I was seeing a wonderful counselor who was helping me through so much. After Alan and I talked that night, we started meeting with her together. I was learning that I had to forgive all of those who had sinned against me in my past (like the family member who abused me), and I was learning to build honesty and integrity into every decision I made. I learned that I did not exist to please men, but that God had created me with a unique and special purpose to please Him. I also learned to love God’s Word in a whole new way, especially the Psalms and the Proverbs, which were my food during this deep look at myself. One of my new favorite verses was Proverbs 24:26, which says, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” I determined that honesty with God, with myself, and with Alan was going to be one of my new character traits!
After about two months of being separated, Alan and I were reconciled. We renewed our vows to each other and bought new rings to signify our new beginning. We did not do any of this publicly, but just between ourselves, because we wanted it to be about God and about our starting something new and special. We continued our counseling together until we felt ready to begin a newly healed life and marriage.
S TILL G OING S TRONG
Alan and I are still going strong; we are more in love than ever and we have done our best to use the pain we have been through to help as many other people as we can. Our whole story is much longer and more complicated than I can share in this book. What I reallywant to communicate is that with God’s help, a commitment to live by His Word, a loving family, a support system of fellow Christians, good counseling, and enough time, anything a person has been through can be healed, restored, and redeemed.
I have learned many valuable lessons during my life and in my journey as a Robertson—many of them the hard way through pain and difficulty. I can never say enough about how grateful I am that Alan and his family chose to forgive me, but one of the most important lessons I had to learn was to forgive myself. Without that, the forgiveness Alan, our daughters, our family, and our friends have extended to me would have been compromised. Had I never been able to forgive myself, I would have stayed stuck in my pain while others were moving on.
T HERE I S H OPE FOR Y OU
To people who have been through situations similar to mine, especially those who have experienced abuse or unfaithfulness on any level, I would say you can always come home to Christ. He is big enough to handle anything you have done or anything that has been done to you. His sacrifice on the cross is enough to cover anything.
Human beings can do a lot of bad things, but nothing you can do will cause Him to turn His back on you. No matter what has happened, refuse to live one more day as a victim. Know that Christ forgives you, and let that empower you to forgive yourself for even the biggest things.
I
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