The Wisdom of Perversity by Rafael Yglesias Page A

lasagna for Scorsese no less. By the way, speaking of directors,” Veronica said, leaning in again. Those shoulders and long arms—he imagined how they would looked raised above her in handcuffs. Ah, but in his arty script, there were no tasteless flashbacks to her torture. “I just finished doing ADR on
Mother’s Helper II,
” Veronica said with a mischievous look.
    â€œOh. Right.” His back ached. His stomach fluttered.
What does she know?
Surely Jeff had kept his mouth shut.
    Lamont burst through the swinging doors like a gunfighter, heading their way.
    â€œGuess who went out of his way to ask me to say hello to you?” she teased.
    Hurry up! Say it!
He nodded to encourage her. Unfortunately, Veronica paused for him to guess. “Your director?” he whispered.
    Too late. Lamont arrived in time to overhear Veronica say, “Exactly. Jeff Mark told me you were BFF as children. In fact, he told me a funny story about how you used to tape-record his parents without them knowing . . .”
    â€œWhat?” Lamont, still standing, frowned down at Brian with the irritation of a boss who hasn’t been kept in the loop. “You and Jeff Mark were what?”
    Veronica looked up. “Our entrées?”
    Lamont sat down. “They’ll be right out.” He snapped at Brian, “Did you order the vegan salad?” Brian nodded. “Didn’t you have a salad for an appetizer?”
    â€œI’m vegan,” Brian said. “Everything else here is cooked in butter. Or worse.”
    â€œGod, you’re even more of a fag than I thought.” Lamont could use the F-word because he was openly gay. That is, openly gay since his bankruptcy and release from the Betty Ford Center.
    Veronica defended Brian’s diet: “Well, it’s good for you. You look great.”
    Lamont stroked his eyebrows, pinched his nose, caressed his mustache and said to Brian, “What the fuck is this BFF bullshit about Jeff Mark and you?”
    Veronica grinned, proud to have information the all-knowing Lamont didn’t. “They grew up together. They were ‘bestest of friends,’ Jeff said. He was adorable about it.” She turned to Brian. “Jeff said you used to put on shows together, that’s how you both learned to be storytellers.”
    So now Jeff thinks of himself as a storyteller. Oh really.
    Lamont made a face. “Brian Moran, I’ve known you, what? Ten years. We’ve done three projects together. You never said anything about knowing the Mark Man.”
    â€œI don’t know him. I haven’t seen him since I was eleven.”
    â€œThat’s what he said!” Veronica announced triumphantly. “Even though you and Jeff were best friends, he said you haven’t spoken or seen each other since you were eleven.”
    â€œYou just finished ADR on
Helper II,
” Brian tried to steer off this course. “Isn’t that late to be doing ADR?”
    â€œWe did some reshooting after the first previews. The studio is very nervous. They’ve got three hundred and sixty million in it.”
    â€œJeff can’t fail. He’s a genius,” Gregory grumbled, as if that were a damning fault. He shifted in his chair to confront Brian. “You’re in the movie business. He’s the top box-office director and the most powerful and active producer in the business—the little prick. Why the fuck aren’t you in touch with him?”
    Brian shrugged. “I don’t
not
talk to him. I just don’t know him.” He saw their entrées coming. “Ah, lunch.”
    â€œWhat happened? You fought? Please tell me you punched his lights out. Of course I love Jeffrey. He’s a genius, there will never be another like him, but it would be a gas to think that, just once, a writer decked him.” Jeff was notorious for hiring Pulitzer Prize – winning playwrights and novelists, pampering them