elbow.
"Another day, eh, Jeff?" she said brightly. "Frank's going to be late; big conference with Peterson and Polchek. They're organizing the landing teams."
Jeff took the chair beside her and nodded glumly.
"Want some breakfast?"
"I had mine already, thank you."
She peered at him. "You look like you lost your best friend."
"Maybe I have."
"What do you mean?"
Fidgeting in the chair, fumbling in his mind to find the right words, Jeff stammered, "Crown . . . they're going to take him away from me. They're going to implant other animals . . . then they won't care what happens to him."
Amanda's dark eyes showed that she understood. "Then Crown won't be so important, huh?"
"Right," Jeff agreed. "Then they won't care what happens to him . . . whether he starves or gets killed by other wolfcats or what."
"Maybe you won't be so important either."
Jeff looked up sharply at her.
"Is that what's bothering you, Jeff? You're the most important man in the Village right now, whether Foy admits it or not. But once other animals are implanted and other students are working with them, your importance will diminish."
"No," he insisted. "I'm worried about Crown."
"And yourself?" Amanda smiled gently.
Jeff frowned and looked away from her. But he had to admit it. She was right. He turned his eyes back to her. Amanda was still smiling patiently at him. She knew. And she cared. And she was beautiful.
"Yes, you're right," he finally confessed. "I am worried about myself."
"There's nothing wrong with that, Jeff. You'd be a little crazy if you weren't."
"But—well, look, I know that it's important to implant more animals and get more students to make contact with them. It's vital! I know that. But I don't like it. It's wrong of me; it's sinful. But I still feel this way."
Amanda rolled her chair to Jeff's, until they were almost touching. She took both his hands in hers and leaned her face so close to his that he thought she was going to kiss him.
"Jeff, you know that I'm not of your faith. I can't tell you anything about sin, or at least, about the way your church deals with sin. But one of my degrees is in psychology, and I know that the emotions you're feeling are completely normal. Anyone in your situation would feel the same way."
He shook his head, suddenly overcome with sheer misery. "But that doesn't make it right."
"It's not so terribly wrong, either," she said. "You're not harming anyone."
"Maybe if I prayed more . . ."
"Work is a form of prayer, and you're going to have plenty of work to do. No matter how many students we use, you're still the only one we have right now."
He tried to smile.
Squeezing his hands tightly, Amanda said, "And you're still a very important man to me."
Jeff felt his heart stop. For an instant the entire world seemed to halt in its tracks. There was nothing in the whole universe except this beautiful black woman who smiled at him so lovingly.
I'm in love with her! he realized. I love her more than anyone in the world has ever loved a woman before! But before the first wild shock of joy finished reverberating through his nervous system, Jeff realized that this, too, was wrong and sinful. Not only had he taken the vow of celibacy, but Amanda was not even a member of the Church. It wasn't that she was black; the Church preached racial tolerance. But she wasn'ta Believer. He didn't know any blacks who were.
Jeff's mind spun giddily. Love and the fires of passion battled within him against guilt and strange, cold, sullen fingers of anger that clutched at his heart. Can't I do anything right anymore? he wondered. Why am I feeling so many sinful thoughts?
"What's going on in here?"
Jeff jerked around in his chair to see Dr. Carbo striding into the control room, scowling.
"Dammit, Amanda, I expected you to have him hooked up and ready to go. We don't have any time to lose. Let's get to work."
Rising to his feet, Jeff noticed for the first time that he was several centimeters taller than
"Another day, eh, Jeff?" she said brightly. "Frank's going to be late; big conference with Peterson and Polchek. They're organizing the landing teams."
Jeff took the chair beside her and nodded glumly.
"Want some breakfast?"
"I had mine already, thank you."
She peered at him. "You look like you lost your best friend."
"Maybe I have."
"What do you mean?"
Fidgeting in the chair, fumbling in his mind to find the right words, Jeff stammered, "Crown . . . they're going to take him away from me. They're going to implant other animals . . . then they won't care what happens to him."
Amanda's dark eyes showed that she understood. "Then Crown won't be so important, huh?"
"Right," Jeff agreed. "Then they won't care what happens to him . . . whether he starves or gets killed by other wolfcats or what."
"Maybe you won't be so important either."
Jeff looked up sharply at her.
"Is that what's bothering you, Jeff? You're the most important man in the Village right now, whether Foy admits it or not. But once other animals are implanted and other students are working with them, your importance will diminish."
"No," he insisted. "I'm worried about Crown."
"And yourself?" Amanda smiled gently.
Jeff frowned and looked away from her. But he had to admit it. She was right. He turned his eyes back to her. Amanda was still smiling patiently at him. She knew. And she cared. And she was beautiful.
"Yes, you're right," he finally confessed. "I am worried about myself."
"There's nothing wrong with that, Jeff. You'd be a little crazy if you weren't."
"But—well, look, I know that it's important to implant more animals and get more students to make contact with them. It's vital! I know that. But I don't like it. It's wrong of me; it's sinful. But I still feel this way."
Amanda rolled her chair to Jeff's, until they were almost touching. She took both his hands in hers and leaned her face so close to his that he thought she was going to kiss him.
"Jeff, you know that I'm not of your faith. I can't tell you anything about sin, or at least, about the way your church deals with sin. But one of my degrees is in psychology, and I know that the emotions you're feeling are completely normal. Anyone in your situation would feel the same way."
He shook his head, suddenly overcome with sheer misery. "But that doesn't make it right."
"It's not so terribly wrong, either," she said. "You're not harming anyone."
"Maybe if I prayed more . . ."
"Work is a form of prayer, and you're going to have plenty of work to do. No matter how many students we use, you're still the only one we have right now."
He tried to smile.
Squeezing his hands tightly, Amanda said, "And you're still a very important man to me."
Jeff felt his heart stop. For an instant the entire world seemed to halt in its tracks. There was nothing in the whole universe except this beautiful black woman who smiled at him so lovingly.
I'm in love with her! he realized. I love her more than anyone in the world has ever loved a woman before! But before the first wild shock of joy finished reverberating through his nervous system, Jeff realized that this, too, was wrong and sinful. Not only had he taken the vow of celibacy, but Amanda was not even a member of the Church. It wasn't that she was black; the Church preached racial tolerance. But she wasn'ta Believer. He didn't know any blacks who were.
Jeff's mind spun giddily. Love and the fires of passion battled within him against guilt and strange, cold, sullen fingers of anger that clutched at his heart. Can't I do anything right anymore? he wondered. Why am I feeling so many sinful thoughts?
"What's going on in here?"
Jeff jerked around in his chair to see Dr. Carbo striding into the control room, scowling.
"Dammit, Amanda, I expected you to have him hooked up and ready to go. We don't have any time to lose. Let's get to work."
Rising to his feet, Jeff noticed for the first time that he was several centimeters taller than
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