The Will to Love by Selene Chardou

led her to the limo and they both hopped inside where it was cozy.
     
    “I need a drink but I’ll wait until we get back to the hotel before I get well and truly plastered.”
     
    “That’s the spirit.” She grabbed a mini bottle of Grey Goose sitting on ice and downed it in a couple of swallows. “That feels better.”
     
    Will stared at her as she sifted through the alcohol and grabbed a miniature bottle of Cristal champagne. “Are you trying to get drunk before we get back to the hotel?”
     
    “No, but I would like to be highly buzzed…if only to forget about tonight.”
     
    He knew the look on his face was slightly hurtful despite knowing what she meant. She was disgusted with herself and what had happened with her ex but it wasn’t her fault.
     
    So why am I secretly blaming her for what happened?
     
    He’d been there and if Laurel could take it all back, she would but a part of him still hated her for responding to her ex-lover and enjoying what he did to her. He could keep all the questions he had to himself or he could ask her and hopefully get some answers without making her suffer too much.
     
    Although she would suffer a little because I’m a sadistic prick and I want her to feel my fucking pain.
     
    “How long were you with him?”
     
    Her pretty hazel-green eyes already showed early signs of intoxication as she swallowed half the bottle of Cristal. “Too long.”
     
    “And how many DVDs are out there with you spread-eagled, showing your goods to the world?”
     
    Laurel shook her head. “No, Will. You don’t get to ask these kind of questions because private buyers bought those DVDs. It’s not like Karl sold them to Vivid Video. They were commissioned . One of a kind. I did at least fifty…maybe a hundred. Who the fuck knows? There were only a small number of buyers who were interested in the fake hard-core snuff videos so maybe they are spread among twenty collectors, maybe less. I don’t know and I didn’t ask. I just did what I was told by the man who claimed to love me and I always acted with the same two men: Severin or Karl.”
     
    “My God, you allowed Severin to put his dick inside you?”
     
    “No different than you putting your dick inside of Grant now drop the fucking subject.”
     
    Will shook his head. “And here I was thinking you were a party girl but I had no idea you were into making videos and doing all this sick, twisted shit.”
     
    “Yep…same as you were. You don’t think I don’t know what you did too? I don’t care if you were with Rory or not. He’s a freak too, just like his brother, but he has the ability for empathy whereas Severin doesn’t. I won’t speak of this again with you because we’ll just go around in circles and that doesn’t do either one of us a damn bit of good.”
     
    Laurel finished her Cristal and tossed it in the recycle bin. “You have a past and I have a past but mine is no worse than yours. That’s not why you got together with me and if we break up, that’s not the reason why you’ll end it with me but I can see you’ll use it as a very convenient excuse.”
     
    “I would do no such thing, Laurel. I’m just trying to understand what the fuck is going on here and why didn’t you tell me about any of this before.”
     
    “Because I was ashamed! What part of that don’t you understand? Do you think I want to revisit that time in my life? I don’t and I won’t. If it makes you feel any better, what happened—what went down…it’s the reason why Faith is so fucked in the head. She did them too and now she’s burying her pain in sex, drugs and booze. That won’t be me because I’m stronger than that.” She collapsed against the back of the seat and turned away from him, her gorgeous hair a fan hiding her face.
     
    Will looked her way until they reached the hotel and got out of the limo. Surprisingly, the alcohol had made her pliable and easy to control. She didn’t fight him when he wrapped his