The Whole Story and Other Stories by Ali Smith Page B

other two bottles are broken on the gr g l r ass. The bonnie glrass of Inverness, poem at school, Culloden the massacre and the Jacobites and the girl after and a tragedy, when all Jacobites were massacred and the girl is made like really sad because of it. Bonnie ass of Inver no bony ass of hee hee hee oho hohee hee hee hee. Bony oh ho hoo. Hoo. Other two broke on the stone when they were thrown. One second they were not broken they were bottles, and now. What can happen in a second, that, eh? cept not always, it doesn’t always happen because look at that one it never broke when she threw, like, that is just amazeen. So there is it, that bottle still, should keep it for if he comes with the broken guns, in case, he might let her take a shot if he, because her good aim, she has aim, she has. What is just amazeen, just amazeen, is that it never. All them others are in pieces. The bottles labels paper holdeen together broken bits BACARDI BREEZE. She had better pick up the g l ass in case someone with a dog and the dog’s paws, it would be a shame for it. Lot of people take their dogs for their walks in here but there is never any dogshit she has seen, people are respectabful, because of the dead like probly. She would like a dog. She would keep it off the g r ass out of respect for them on the underneath of it, them dead for years, they wouldn’t be wanteen to be walked on by paws of a dog or peoples feet crosseen over their bodies and their heads all day and ha! sometimes night too. Cathy Maclennan at school shaggeen that Vaughn MacDonald from third year up by the old graves and came down the path half-past ten straighteneen her clothes and saw her here on her way out from the shag, she had g r ass stains, she was telleen him she left her mobile phone up there, she said would he go and get it and he said no way, you go, and she said, no way am I goeen back up there it’s near dark like, they were both goeen to each other no, no way, then she seen her and goes look theres that Jasmine McKinlay, so she shouts over to Cathy Maclennan I don’t mind goeen, whats your mobile number and I could ring it on mine and then you could hear it and find it, but Cathy Maclennan just ignored her, like, as if she wasn even there, and says to her next day at Home economics, they were doeen fruit and cheese scones, she comes over and says I saw you in the cemetery by yoursel you are fuckeen mental man, there are druggies there and everytheen, you are mad like always goeen in there by your sel I saw you hangeen about, full o dead people, you’re a weirdo to go there if youre not actually like shaggeen someone, huh, Cathy Maclennan is the bony ass of, just shoween off that she’s got a shag, horrible fuckeen place, disgusteen morbud place Cathy Maclennan says to her, but then she said back to Cathy Maclennan, she said, well right when you like die will you be wanteen to go to heaven and Cathy Maclennan said well duh obviously, if there is one, and then
she
said,
she
said, well there you go because if its heaven then somebody must be dead, thats what heaven is int it, you cant get into it unless youre like out of it, ha ha ha, they had a notice up sayeen it wan a prize, it is actually the most the best-kept cemetery in the whole of SCOtland, probly because the g rass is always really neat and everytheen and when she comes back theyve always like cleared up the bottles she broke the last time she was here, doesn seem to matter where in the place she was breakeen them they find it and its gone, and there is never no noise except that birds, and the noises trees makes, and she has been here loads and never seen a druggy, not even one time, maybe if she sees one they could give her sometheen that would last longer than three fuckeen alcopops. Maybe if you are a druggy you might not want to be near a place like it, maybe you would halogenate, see the dead and everytheen. Except thon man, he isn’t, because she said are you a druggy? and he says