The Whole Lesbian Sex Book by Felice Newman

bodywork, and others.
    What’s it like to come back into your body? It’s like awakening to a sense—such as touch—you’ve read about, heard about, thought you understood, but have never truly experienced.

    You Are What You Eat
    “Not treating your body as a temple can kill even the most Herculean libido,” Heather Corinna writes on Scarlet Letters, her erotic website. “Healthy sexual functioning requires a good respiratory system and a healthy flow of oxygen, adequate hormone levels and properly functioning sexual glands, and most of all, energy. The best diet for your sexual health is the best diet for your health, period.” 3
    Your body requires nutrition, adequate rest, plenty of fluids, and movement just to sustain life, much less thrive. You can improve your relationship with your body by learning to take good care of yourself. In fact, tending to your physical care is a great prelude to sex.

    Get a Pelvic Exam
    Add to this good health care. Many lesbian, bisexual, and queer women fail to get regular gynecological exams, and even when we do get checkups, we’re often not candid about our sexual practices.
    Why don’t we get better health care? In the United States, lack of access to health insurance is a big factor in preventing women from getting adequate health care. Many lesbian and bisexual women as well as transgendered people feel very uncomfortable talking to health-care practitioners about sex. (Many of us feel uncomfortable talking to our lovers about sex.) It doesn’t help that few of us have access to health-care professionals who have any idea what we do sexually. Some lesbians feel uneasy about the mechanics of Pap smears; others think that because they don’t have sex with men, such care is unnecessary—not true.
    Regular gynecological exams will help you stay on top of the state of your sexual health. Some sexually transmitted conditions don’t produce noticeable symptoms until you’ve got a serious problem. For example, human papillomavirus (HPV), among the most widespread sexually transmitted conditions, has been linked to cervical cancer. A recent study conducted in Seattle found HPV present among lesbians—even those who had never had sex with men. 4 A Pap smear can alert you to the presence of abnormal cells caused by HPV, long before cancer develops. However, you will need a complete gynecological exam, including blood work, to determine if you’ve been exposed to HIV or other STDs.
Risk-Free_____
Frottage (with clothes)
Nipple and breast stimulation (not
lactating)
Sharing sex toys (with a condom)
Genital touching with glove
Oral sex with barrier
Masturbation (touching only yourself)
Voyeurism and exhibitionism
Cybersex and phone sex
Watching porn
Reading erotica
Talking dirty
Fantasy

    Safer Sex, Please
    We hear a lot about safer sex—but what is it, really? Safer sex is the practice of assessing risks and taking precautions that you hope will prevent you from acquiring or transmitting STDs.
    How do you know if you’re at risk? Well, the greater the number of people with whom you have had unprotected sex, the greater the risk you’ve been exposed to a sexually transmitted disease. Your risk for acquiring an STD increases if you already have an STD, if you’ve used intravenous drugs, or if any of your partners have used intravenous drugs. Finally, some sexual activities are riskier than others. (See “Safer-Sex Guidelines for Lesbian and Bisexual Women,” below.)
    You may believe that because you’re in a committed monogamous relationship you’re exempt from safer-sex concerns. If that were true, there would be far fewer of us with herpes and HPV. Unfortunately, monogamy is not a foolproof safer-sex strategy. Some STDs can lie dormant for months or even years after exposure, which may be longer than your previous relationship. You could easily transmit an STD you didn’t know you had. And, of course, a commitment to monogamy is no guarantee. Many women have sex outside