produce shop and purchased potato skins for soup and three wormy cabbages. I had a good cry in a bombed-out, ground-floor flat, sitting on the rim of the soil-filled bathtub that some clever soul must have been planning to use for planting vegetables in the spring.
Self-hatred stalked me home, though it comforted me to find Ewa and Helena watching over my niece, who was sleeping with her arm over her eyes. Helena looked at my torn trousers and dashed to me as I stood in the doorway, needing reassurance. I lifted her up and pressed my lips to her ear, her favourite spot for kisses.
‘What happened to you?’ she asked.
‘I tripped on a cauliflower,’ I replied, forcing a smile.
After I put the girl down, Ewa asked her to watch over Stefa, then led me into my room as though on a mission, easing the bedroom door closed behind her.
‘I don’t want Helena to hear our conversation,’ she whispered.
‘Very well,’ I agreed. I tossed my bag of potato skins and my cabbages on the bed.
‘Listen,’ she said, brushing a tense hand back through her hair, ‘my father says that Stefa has typhus. And she’s had it a while – maybe too long.’
Ewa continued speaking, but frantic wings of panic were beating at my ears, blocking out her voice. ‘Give me a moment,’ I told her.
She helped me out of my coat and opened my collar. I sat down on the mattress.
‘Over the next few weeks, Stefa will need nursing,’ she told me. ‘I can take over in the evenings, but you may have to quit the Lending Library. Her clothes were infested with lice, of course. To be safe, I had her sheets taken away to be washed. And Papa will have your apartment sprayed with carbolic acid later today. By all accounts, you should be under an order of quarantine, but he managed to avoid that. Listen, Erik, you may be infested, too.’
Her efficiency disoriented me. Ewa – with her small, determined eyes – now seemed one of those timid and reticent women who turn into Joan of Arc when their loved ones are threatened. A useful person in a war.
‘Are there medications that will help?’ I asked.
‘Some ghetto physicians say that a Swiss serum has produced good improvements in patients, but it costs a thousand złoty a vial.’
‘My God! Can your father get me some?’
‘Yes, though I don’t know how long it will take him.’
‘I’ll go and see him. I’ll sell Hannah’s engagement ring to raise the money.’
‘No, please, don’t do that!’ she said sharply. Then, sensing she’d only heightened my sense of guilt, she added, ‘I only meant there must be something else you can sell.’
‘Not if I need to raise a thousand złoty in a hurry.’
Sitting on the floor in front of the clothes chest I’d shared with Adam, I opened the bottom drawer, clawed my way past his tangle of underwear and socks, and unhooked the ring from its hiding place. Holding it in my hand made me feel faint. My mouth was as dry as dust.
I held up the ring for Ewa to see. ‘It’s a two-carat diamond with a gold band.’
I got to my knees but was too dizzy to go any further. Ewa helped me up and fetched me a glass of water. After a long drink, I sat down on my bed again.
‘I’d appreciate it if you would sell it for me,’ I told her.
‘Me? My God, Erik, I don’t know anything about selling jewellery.’
‘Neither do I, but you’re a pretty young woman, so you’ll get a better price. You can say it’s yours – for sympathy.’
When I held it out to her, she moved her hands behind her back. ‘No, don’t make me,’ she pleaded. ‘I’ll get nervous and ruin things. Please, Erik …’
Tears appeared in her eyes and her shoulders hunched; she had transformed back into her usual self, so I didn’t insist.
When I asked if she knew where Rowy Klaus might be, Ewa glanced at her watch and told me he was giving a piano lesson on Sienna Street, which was in the Little Ghetto, a relatively well-off section of our territory that
Self-hatred stalked me home, though it comforted me to find Ewa and Helena watching over my niece, who was sleeping with her arm over her eyes. Helena looked at my torn trousers and dashed to me as I stood in the doorway, needing reassurance. I lifted her up and pressed my lips to her ear, her favourite spot for kisses.
‘What happened to you?’ she asked.
‘I tripped on a cauliflower,’ I replied, forcing a smile.
After I put the girl down, Ewa asked her to watch over Stefa, then led me into my room as though on a mission, easing the bedroom door closed behind her.
‘I don’t want Helena to hear our conversation,’ she whispered.
‘Very well,’ I agreed. I tossed my bag of potato skins and my cabbages on the bed.
‘Listen,’ she said, brushing a tense hand back through her hair, ‘my father says that Stefa has typhus. And she’s had it a while – maybe too long.’
Ewa continued speaking, but frantic wings of panic were beating at my ears, blocking out her voice. ‘Give me a moment,’ I told her.
She helped me out of my coat and opened my collar. I sat down on the mattress.
‘Over the next few weeks, Stefa will need nursing,’ she told me. ‘I can take over in the evenings, but you may have to quit the Lending Library. Her clothes were infested with lice, of course. To be safe, I had her sheets taken away to be washed. And Papa will have your apartment sprayed with carbolic acid later today. By all accounts, you should be under an order of quarantine, but he managed to avoid that. Listen, Erik, you may be infested, too.’
Her efficiency disoriented me. Ewa – with her small, determined eyes – now seemed one of those timid and reticent women who turn into Joan of Arc when their loved ones are threatened. A useful person in a war.
‘Are there medications that will help?’ I asked.
‘Some ghetto physicians say that a Swiss serum has produced good improvements in patients, but it costs a thousand złoty a vial.’
‘My God! Can your father get me some?’
‘Yes, though I don’t know how long it will take him.’
‘I’ll go and see him. I’ll sell Hannah’s engagement ring to raise the money.’
‘No, please, don’t do that!’ she said sharply. Then, sensing she’d only heightened my sense of guilt, she added, ‘I only meant there must be something else you can sell.’
‘Not if I need to raise a thousand złoty in a hurry.’
Sitting on the floor in front of the clothes chest I’d shared with Adam, I opened the bottom drawer, clawed my way past his tangle of underwear and socks, and unhooked the ring from its hiding place. Holding it in my hand made me feel faint. My mouth was as dry as dust.
I held up the ring for Ewa to see. ‘It’s a two-carat diamond with a gold band.’
I got to my knees but was too dizzy to go any further. Ewa helped me up and fetched me a glass of water. After a long drink, I sat down on my bed again.
‘I’d appreciate it if you would sell it for me,’ I told her.
‘Me? My God, Erik, I don’t know anything about selling jewellery.’
‘Neither do I, but you’re a pretty young woman, so you’ll get a better price. You can say it’s yours – for sympathy.’
When I held it out to her, she moved her hands behind her back. ‘No, don’t make me,’ she pleaded. ‘I’ll get nervous and ruin things. Please, Erik …’
Tears appeared in her eyes and her shoulders hunched; she had transformed back into her usual self, so I didn’t insist.
When I asked if she knew where Rowy Klaus might be, Ewa glanced at her watch and told me he was giving a piano lesson on Sienna Street, which was in the Little Ghetto, a relatively well-off section of our territory that