The warrior's apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold

hold him as my leige commander until my death or his releases me.”
    That repeated, Miles said, rather quickly as the crowd closed in, “I, Miles Naismith Vorkosigan, vassal secundus to Emperor Gregor Vorbarra, do accept your oath, and pledge you the protection of a leige commander; this by my word as Vorkosigan. All done—you can get up now.”
    One good thing, thought Miles, it’s diverted the Sergeant completely from whatever he was about to say. Bothari found his voice at last. “My lord,” he hissed, “you can’t swear a Betan!”
    “I just did,” Miles pointed out cheerfully. He bounced a bit, feeling quite unusually pleased with himself. The Sergeant’s glance passed across Mayhew’s bottle, and narrowed on Miles.
    “Why aren’t you asleep?” he growled.
    The Betan patrolman gestured at Miles. “Is this the man?”
    The Betan security officer from the original shuttleport group approached. Mayhew had remained on his knees, as if plotting to crawl off under cover of the fire overhead. “Pilot Officer Mayhew,” she cried, “you are under arrest. These are your rights: you have a right to—”
    The bruised civilian interrupted, pointing at Elena. “Screw him! This woman assaulted me! There were a dozen witnesses. Damn it, I want her charged. She’s vicious.”
    Elena had her hands over her ears again, lower lip stuck out but trembling slightly. Miles began to get the picture. “Did you hit him?”
    She nodded. “But he said the most horrible thing to me...”
    “My lord,” said Bothari reproachfully, “it was very wrong of you to leave her alone in this place—”
    The security woman began again. “Pilot Officer Mayhew, you have a right—”
    “I think she cracked the orbit of my eye,” moaned the bruised man. “I’m going to sue...”
    Miles shot Elena a special reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
    “You have a right—” yelled the security woman.
    “I beg your pardon. Officer Brownell,” Miles interrupted her smoothly. “Pilot Officer Mayhew is now my leigeman. As his leige commander, any charges against him must be addressed to me. It will then be my duty to determine their validity and issue the orders for the appropriate punishments. He has no rights but the right to accept challenge in single combat for certain categories of slander which are a bit complicated to go into now—” Obsolete, too, since dueling was outlawed by Imperial edict, but these Betans won’t know the difference—”So unless you happen to be carrying two pairs of swords and are prepared to, say, offer an insult to Pilot Officer Mayhew’s mother, you will simply have to—ah—contain yourself.”
    Timely advice; the security woman looked as if she were about to explode, Mayhew gave a hopeful nod, smiling weakly. Bothari stirred uneasily, eyes flicking on an inventory of men and weapons in the mob. Gently, thought Miles; let’s take it gently. “Get up, Arde . . .”
    It took some persuading, but the security officer finally checked with her superiors about Miles’s bizarre defense of Pilot Officer Mayhew. At that point, as Miles had hoped and foreseen, proceedings broke down in a morass of untested interplanetary legal hypotheses that threatened to engulf the Barrayaran Embassy and the Betan State Department on ever-ascending levels of personnel.
    Elena’s case was easier. The outraged Betan was directed to take his case to the Barrayaran Embassy in person. There, Miles knew, it would be swallowed up in an endless moebius loop of files, forms, and reports, kept especially for such occasions by the extremely competent staff. The forms included some particularly creative ones that had to be round-tripped on the six-week journey back to Barrayar itself, and were guaranteed to be sent back several times for minor errors in execution.
    “Relax,” Miles whispered in an aside to Elena. “They’ll bury that guy in files so deep you’ll never see him again. It works great