placed it behind my head.
Desh’s head bobbed up and down. “It was amazing Joe. After the blast, that thing, that huge, white bear came at you. Everyone was trying to get your attention, but you were totally zoned out. It jumped down on your chest and went for your neck. Elise ran out from behind a rock, slapped its big, white butt with a tree branch, and it just ran away.” He was breathless from excitement but managed to calm down and look at me seriously for a second. Poor Desh, I’d put him through hell. “What were you doing out there, Joe? It was like you wanted it to kill you.”
Did I? I wasn’t sure, maybe for a millisecond.
Elise started spreading gauze over my chest and taping it down. I caught her eyes. “Thank you,” I mumbled.
She shrugged. “Don’t mention it. It’s what I do,” she said casually.
I groaned as she pressed down on my skin. Her touch wasn’t reassuring; it just felt alien.
“You routinely slap bears on the ass?” I asked quizzically, raising my eyebrows.
“Ha!” Desh spluttered. “At least now we know he’s not brain damaged!”
Rash shouted from across the campsite, “Based on current evidence, I’m gonna need further proof.”
Desh shot him a warning look and I snorted. That was kind of funny.
Elise laughed lightly, ignoring Rash’s comment as she tossed her head back to get her hair away from her face. “No. I’m Medical. Saving lives is what I do.”
“Oh, right. Me too. Or at least I was. Medical.”
“Shhh!” she said, putting her finger to her lips. “Get some rest.”
Her face faded to a pale blur for a moment, and I shook my head. “Where are we? What happened after the blast?” I asked.
She didn’t answer.
Matt’s warm voice sailed in and his face followed. “How’s the patient?”
“Superficial wounds to the chest and legs. Bruising to most of the lower body and also to the left eye,” Elise replied, running her little finger down the side of my face. I jerked away from her touch.
“It doesn’t feel very superficial, Matt,” I said, managing a smile. “Now tell me what happened after the blast?” I insisted.
He nodded and faked a smile. “Nothing.”
I clenched my fists and pulled my head up so I could see him better. Smoke from a campfire whirled around our faces and stung my eyes. “What do you mean— nothing ?”
Desh patted my arm.
“Nothing yet, anyway. We always knew Birchton and Radiata were going to be a harder sell. We’ve left two of our own back there to wait and see. We do know people reacted to the film.”
I glanced around the camp. Gus squatted down near the fire, poking the coals under a tin of beans. Rash leaned against a tree, quietly seething.
“Where are we now?” My voice was dry.
“Between Birchton and Radiata; we have two more nights before the next show,” Desh replied, spreading his hands out and wiggling his fingers.
I chuckled despite myself. “Man I’ve missed you.”
He grinned, his dark eyes flashing concern. “It’s good to see you smile.”
Elise stood up straight, and she was almost as tall as Desh. “I’ll leave you boys to it.”
Desh raised an eyebrow as she walked away. Matt’s gaze followed her. I’d never seen him staring at a woman before and it made me laugh, which hurt my chest.
Desh elbowed him. “Like what you see, eh?”
I rolled my eyes.
Matt blushed and smacked his arm. “She’s a little young for me.”
I grimaced from pain and being uncomfortable. All this smiling, laughing, and joking was too much. I didn’t like how easy they could pretend, or maybe they weren’t pretending. All I knew was I didn’t like it. I didn’t want them to be sad all the time, but when they were joking like this, I saw her, or almost the absence of her. Like someone had cut a hole in the air in her exact shape, and I was just waiting for her to fill it.
I sighed loudly.
“You ok?” Matt asked, reaching for my wrist to check my pulse.
“I’m fine,” I
Desh’s head bobbed up and down. “It was amazing Joe. After the blast, that thing, that huge, white bear came at you. Everyone was trying to get your attention, but you were totally zoned out. It jumped down on your chest and went for your neck. Elise ran out from behind a rock, slapped its big, white butt with a tree branch, and it just ran away.” He was breathless from excitement but managed to calm down and look at me seriously for a second. Poor Desh, I’d put him through hell. “What were you doing out there, Joe? It was like you wanted it to kill you.”
Did I? I wasn’t sure, maybe for a millisecond.
Elise started spreading gauze over my chest and taping it down. I caught her eyes. “Thank you,” I mumbled.
She shrugged. “Don’t mention it. It’s what I do,” she said casually.
I groaned as she pressed down on my skin. Her touch wasn’t reassuring; it just felt alien.
“You routinely slap bears on the ass?” I asked quizzically, raising my eyebrows.
“Ha!” Desh spluttered. “At least now we know he’s not brain damaged!”
Rash shouted from across the campsite, “Based on current evidence, I’m gonna need further proof.”
Desh shot him a warning look and I snorted. That was kind of funny.
Elise laughed lightly, ignoring Rash’s comment as she tossed her head back to get her hair away from her face. “No. I’m Medical. Saving lives is what I do.”
“Oh, right. Me too. Or at least I was. Medical.”
“Shhh!” she said, putting her finger to her lips. “Get some rest.”
Her face faded to a pale blur for a moment, and I shook my head. “Where are we? What happened after the blast?” I asked.
She didn’t answer.
Matt’s warm voice sailed in and his face followed. “How’s the patient?”
“Superficial wounds to the chest and legs. Bruising to most of the lower body and also to the left eye,” Elise replied, running her little finger down the side of my face. I jerked away from her touch.
“It doesn’t feel very superficial, Matt,” I said, managing a smile. “Now tell me what happened after the blast?” I insisted.
He nodded and faked a smile. “Nothing.”
I clenched my fists and pulled my head up so I could see him better. Smoke from a campfire whirled around our faces and stung my eyes. “What do you mean— nothing ?”
Desh patted my arm.
“Nothing yet, anyway. We always knew Birchton and Radiata were going to be a harder sell. We’ve left two of our own back there to wait and see. We do know people reacted to the film.”
I glanced around the camp. Gus squatted down near the fire, poking the coals under a tin of beans. Rash leaned against a tree, quietly seething.
“Where are we now?” My voice was dry.
“Between Birchton and Radiata; we have two more nights before the next show,” Desh replied, spreading his hands out and wiggling his fingers.
I chuckled despite myself. “Man I’ve missed you.”
He grinned, his dark eyes flashing concern. “It’s good to see you smile.”
Elise stood up straight, and she was almost as tall as Desh. “I’ll leave you boys to it.”
Desh raised an eyebrow as she walked away. Matt’s gaze followed her. I’d never seen him staring at a woman before and it made me laugh, which hurt my chest.
Desh elbowed him. “Like what you see, eh?”
I rolled my eyes.
Matt blushed and smacked his arm. “She’s a little young for me.”
I grimaced from pain and being uncomfortable. All this smiling, laughing, and joking was too much. I didn’t like how easy they could pretend, or maybe they weren’t pretending. All I knew was I didn’t like it. I didn’t want them to be sad all the time, but when they were joking like this, I saw her, or almost the absence of her. Like someone had cut a hole in the air in her exact shape, and I was just waiting for her to fill it.
I sighed loudly.
“You ok?” Matt asked, reaching for my wrist to check my pulse.
“I’m fine,” I
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