extra air, and a faint tingling in my lips reminded me of how it had felt
when we’d kissed.
It was a strange kind of suspense, not being able to open my eyes, and not knowing
if I was imagining that he was there.
“That’s enough, now, Pitts,” Orly said clearly from the other end of the room. “We’ve
got the boys’ dorm to do still.”
I felt a faint tremor, as if a hand was set on the end of my sleep shell, and then
I heard footsteps retreating. A minute later, the lights went out again. I took a
deep breath and rolled over to my other side, waiting forever for my pulse to calm.
It was almost as if Linus had known I could open my eyes. As if he’d dared me.
I needed to get some solid sleep or I’d be dead the next day. I let myself go, willing
my muscles to unclench. I tried to recapture the feeling I usually got from my sleeping
pill, the way a warm, easy calm soothed through my veins, wicking through my neck
and shoulders, relaxing my hips and knees. My mind slowed, my fingers went limp, and
the brown mist slipped gently in.
10
FANS
A TRACE OF dream clung to me as I surfaced into Tuesday morning, a shadow twin who stretched
out from my feet, farther and farther ahead of me along the railroad tracks, until
she detached and slipped away.
Languorously, I smiled and rolled over. It was the first hint of a dream I’d had since
I’d come to the Forge School, and I loved remembering dreams. I’d missed them while
I was on the pills.
The bells from the clock tower were still tolling six as I opened my eyes on a transformed
room. Half the sleep shells were gone, and each of us had been given a straight-backed
chair, a small bedside table, and a braided oval rug. For the first time, the dorm
room felt, if not quite homey, at least less oppressive. Best of all, the clouds outside
had finally cleared.
My sleep shell had stayed at the end of the room, but Janice’s had been shifted next
to mine in the line. She was leaning on the edge of her sleep shell, running her bare
toes over her rug. Sunlight dropped in the windows around her, bouncing off her blue
quilt and bright hair.
“This is a vast improvement,” she said.
I eased over to the nearest window and with a finger on the glass, I located the pale
gray façade of the dean’s tower. It was the most modern building on campus, morphing
out of an older, shorter building. I counted up five stories to the row of windows
where Linus had said my techie worked, and I wished I could see inside.
“Did you ever watch one of those Forge specials about the people who work behind the
scenes?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said. “With the tunnels and stuff?”
“I’d like to get in the dean’s tower sometime,” I said.
“I’d rather go to Forgetown. I heard last year, after the seniors graduated, they
all went into town and partied with the techies.” She cupped her hand in a princess
wave. “Hello to you, techie,” she said, and laughed.
“He’s probably choking on his coffee right now,” I said.
“I think of mine as a her,” she said. “I don’t know why. She’s very kindly and soulful.”
I thought of mine as an arrogant weasel named Bones.
The upbeat voices of the other girls made a nice change from the stress of the day
before. Paige was doing ballerina stretches between her rug and a chair, extra wide
splits that hurt me to look at her. Janice began getting dressed. I examined my arms
for new marks, and found none. It was a relief.
Maybe I was going to be okay here now. I could hope.
* * *
I saw Linus in the kitchen when I went through the cafeteria line, but he was busy
with the meat slicer, and it wasn’t the right time to flag him down just to say hello.
He was wearing his eye patch again, and I wondered how much sleep he’d gotten the
night before. The blip rank board in the dining room had been reconfigured for the
new total number of students
when we’d kissed.
It was a strange kind of suspense, not being able to open my eyes, and not knowing
if I was imagining that he was there.
“That’s enough, now, Pitts,” Orly said clearly from the other end of the room. “We’ve
got the boys’ dorm to do still.”
I felt a faint tremor, as if a hand was set on the end of my sleep shell, and then
I heard footsteps retreating. A minute later, the lights went out again. I took a
deep breath and rolled over to my other side, waiting forever for my pulse to calm.
It was almost as if Linus had known I could open my eyes. As if he’d dared me.
I needed to get some solid sleep or I’d be dead the next day. I let myself go, willing
my muscles to unclench. I tried to recapture the feeling I usually got from my sleeping
pill, the way a warm, easy calm soothed through my veins, wicking through my neck
and shoulders, relaxing my hips and knees. My mind slowed, my fingers went limp, and
the brown mist slipped gently in.
10
FANS
A TRACE OF dream clung to me as I surfaced into Tuesday morning, a shadow twin who stretched
out from my feet, farther and farther ahead of me along the railroad tracks, until
she detached and slipped away.
Languorously, I smiled and rolled over. It was the first hint of a dream I’d had since
I’d come to the Forge School, and I loved remembering dreams. I’d missed them while
I was on the pills.
The bells from the clock tower were still tolling six as I opened my eyes on a transformed
room. Half the sleep shells were gone, and each of us had been given a straight-backed
chair, a small bedside table, and a braided oval rug. For the first time, the dorm
room felt, if not quite homey, at least less oppressive. Best of all, the clouds outside
had finally cleared.
My sleep shell had stayed at the end of the room, but Janice’s had been shifted next
to mine in the line. She was leaning on the edge of her sleep shell, running her bare
toes over her rug. Sunlight dropped in the windows around her, bouncing off her blue
quilt and bright hair.
“This is a vast improvement,” she said.
I eased over to the nearest window and with a finger on the glass, I located the pale
gray façade of the dean’s tower. It was the most modern building on campus, morphing
out of an older, shorter building. I counted up five stories to the row of windows
where Linus had said my techie worked, and I wished I could see inside.
“Did you ever watch one of those Forge specials about the people who work behind the
scenes?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said. “With the tunnels and stuff?”
“I’d like to get in the dean’s tower sometime,” I said.
“I’d rather go to Forgetown. I heard last year, after the seniors graduated, they
all went into town and partied with the techies.” She cupped her hand in a princess
wave. “Hello to you, techie,” she said, and laughed.
“He’s probably choking on his coffee right now,” I said.
“I think of mine as a her,” she said. “I don’t know why. She’s very kindly and soulful.”
I thought of mine as an arrogant weasel named Bones.
The upbeat voices of the other girls made a nice change from the stress of the day
before. Paige was doing ballerina stretches between her rug and a chair, extra wide
splits that hurt me to look at her. Janice began getting dressed. I examined my arms
for new marks, and found none. It was a relief.
Maybe I was going to be okay here now. I could hope.
* * *
I saw Linus in the kitchen when I went through the cafeteria line, but he was busy
with the meat slicer, and it wasn’t the right time to flag him down just to say hello.
He was wearing his eye patch again, and I wondered how much sleep he’d gotten the
night before. The blip rank board in the dining room had been reconfigured for the
new total number of students
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