laughs bitterly. “Not that we have anything else to
do.”
I look at her and frown, and then silently I
start pulling sheets from the furniture.
After a while, Amanda announces, “I am
going to the car to get some dust rags, then we can start
dusting.”
“ Dusting?” I ask incredulously.
She sighs. Since Shayne died, she has been
very bossy and even more motherly than usual. It seems as if she
feels she needs to protect me even more now, in case she lost me as
well.
“We cannot sleep like this. We do not even
know if there is water here. Either we will have to walk down to
the river with buckets to bathe, or sleep like this. I prefer to
sleep clean and comfortably.”
She turns and walks out of the room, while I
continue pulling up dust covers. The dust covers did not really
work, because once you pull them off, the dust that rises into the
air settles back down onto the furniture it is meant to
protect.
When she comes back, she is carrying car
interior polish and two soft cloths. Silently we start to clean the
room and when it starts getting dark, she is happy.
She sits down in one of the chairs. “I think
this is okay for now. We would not be able to clean it all as it
should be. Tomorrow we will drive into the village and get
everything we will need to fix this room and then move on from here
– room for room.”
I consider despondently that it will take
forever, but it would be nice to restore it for the memory of
Francois and my mother.
I turn toward Amanda and I say cautiously,
“I am going for a walk.”
“ Okay, but don’t be long. It is not like
the last time you were here. Things have changed and the world is
more violent now.”
I give her a peck on the top of her head.
“I’ll be fine.” Then I walk out of the room toward the main
door.
I walk toward the little graveyard a distance
away, past the conservatory. The flowers in the conservatory, or
what is left of them, grow wild and I look at them sadly.
When I reach the little graveyard, I walk
straight to the grave of my mother. Although the grass sweeps
against my knees, I know instinctively where it is. I used to spend
so many lonely hours here, talking to her softly, as if she could
hear me and wondering whether she would have stayed with me if she
had a choice.
I sit down on the grave of my mother and
sweeping the long grass away with my hand gently, I look sadly at
the headstone. Her date of death matches my original date of birth.
I notice the grave of Francois next to hers. I remember the day he
was buried, I watched from the shadows of the trees.
From the corner of my eye, I see a
shooting star cross the night sky swiftly, and my thoughts
involuntarily return to Andrew. We grew close in that last week
before Amanda and I left to come here. I doubt I will ever see him
again, even if he professed his undying love for me. He did not
really understand the concept that we could never be together. Even
if I wanted to love him and I wanted to spend forever with him, I
could never turn him. If I did go as far as making him like me, we
would always be fugitives and looking over our shoulders, waiting
for them to catch up with us and to kill Andrew and me brutally and
painfully. I must spare him from that, and so, in a way, I am glad
that Amanda and I moved away. There might have come a time when I
would have wanted to keep him with me forever despite the dangers.
Although I used to have a short future planned of going to
university and finding a job, the one thing I have learned from all
my years is that things never happen the way you assume they
will.
I will always remember those feelings Andrew
awakened in me. Innocent, nervous feelings I have never experienced
before. I convince myself that love was not in my future, not my
destiny, and that it is better for Andrew to move on and hopefully
he will think of me every so often.
I get up from the ground and stretch my legs.
Slowly I walk back to the house and when I walk into the
do.”
I look at her and frown, and then silently I
start pulling sheets from the furniture.
After a while, Amanda announces, “I am
going to the car to get some dust rags, then we can start
dusting.”
“ Dusting?” I ask incredulously.
She sighs. Since Shayne died, she has been
very bossy and even more motherly than usual. It seems as if she
feels she needs to protect me even more now, in case she lost me as
well.
“We cannot sleep like this. We do not even
know if there is water here. Either we will have to walk down to
the river with buckets to bathe, or sleep like this. I prefer to
sleep clean and comfortably.”
She turns and walks out of the room, while I
continue pulling up dust covers. The dust covers did not really
work, because once you pull them off, the dust that rises into the
air settles back down onto the furniture it is meant to
protect.
When she comes back, she is carrying car
interior polish and two soft cloths. Silently we start to clean the
room and when it starts getting dark, she is happy.
She sits down in one of the chairs. “I think
this is okay for now. We would not be able to clean it all as it
should be. Tomorrow we will drive into the village and get
everything we will need to fix this room and then move on from here
– room for room.”
I consider despondently that it will take
forever, but it would be nice to restore it for the memory of
Francois and my mother.
I turn toward Amanda and I say cautiously,
“I am going for a walk.”
“ Okay, but don’t be long. It is not like
the last time you were here. Things have changed and the world is
more violent now.”
I give her a peck on the top of her head.
“I’ll be fine.” Then I walk out of the room toward the main
door.
I walk toward the little graveyard a distance
away, past the conservatory. The flowers in the conservatory, or
what is left of them, grow wild and I look at them sadly.
When I reach the little graveyard, I walk
straight to the grave of my mother. Although the grass sweeps
against my knees, I know instinctively where it is. I used to spend
so many lonely hours here, talking to her softly, as if she could
hear me and wondering whether she would have stayed with me if she
had a choice.
I sit down on the grave of my mother and
sweeping the long grass away with my hand gently, I look sadly at
the headstone. Her date of death matches my original date of birth.
I notice the grave of Francois next to hers. I remember the day he
was buried, I watched from the shadows of the trees.
From the corner of my eye, I see a
shooting star cross the night sky swiftly, and my thoughts
involuntarily return to Andrew. We grew close in that last week
before Amanda and I left to come here. I doubt I will ever see him
again, even if he professed his undying love for me. He did not
really understand the concept that we could never be together. Even
if I wanted to love him and I wanted to spend forever with him, I
could never turn him. If I did go as far as making him like me, we
would always be fugitives and looking over our shoulders, waiting
for them to catch up with us and to kill Andrew and me brutally and
painfully. I must spare him from that, and so, in a way, I am glad
that Amanda and I moved away. There might have come a time when I
would have wanted to keep him with me forever despite the dangers.
Although I used to have a short future planned of going to
university and finding a job, the one thing I have learned from all
my years is that things never happen the way you assume they
will.
I will always remember those feelings Andrew
awakened in me. Innocent, nervous feelings I have never experienced
before. I convince myself that love was not in my future, not my
destiny, and that it is better for Andrew to move on and hopefully
he will think of me every so often.
I get up from the ground and stretch my legs.
Slowly I walk back to the house and when I walk into the
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