The Ultimate Stonemage: A Modest Autobiography

The Ultimate Stonemage: A Modest Autobiography by Duncan McKenzie Page A

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Authors: Duncan McKenzie
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Christ’s immortality. And so those who had accused me of heresy found the charge suddenly upon their own heads, and those who did not retract their words paid dearly for it, you may be certain!
    One very pleasurable task which fell upon me as archbishop was to hear the confessions of sinners. It was the custom, you see, for all the members of the assembly to come, one by one, to me, and to admit all the evil acts which they had committed. You would be astonished to hear the scandalous deeds which were performed in that small town. I found the admissions so fascinating that, after a time, I began to keep detailed notes, which I still show to my friends and acquaintances for their edification and amusement.
    But do not think I approached my duties frivolously, for, having been made an archbishop, I determined to become a master of the craft and spent much time in study, learning all I could about the Holy Code, and memorizing two long passages, so the bishops would not be able to trap me a second time. One passage, which is from the First Testament, describes the symptoms of a terrible skin disease. The other, which is in theFourth Testament, is the entertaining praise-poem The Six Thieves and the Four Whores . This poem I know by heart even to this day, for my memory is very retentive. If you do not know the poem, you must seek it out and read it, for it is a diverting piece; and yet it also tells us much of God’s grace, for, at the very end, after the thieves and the whores have committed many shameful and sinful acts, they repent, and are forgiven by God, and surely, if they can be forgiven for such outrageous conduct, so can we all.
    In fact, all the books of the Holy Code are well worth the reading, and I recommend them to everyone. Within their pages I learned of the one all-powerful God, the God With No Name, who is an indomitable ally and a fearsome and terrifying enemy. Those who befriend this great God may call upon him at any time to give them wealth or to destroy those of whom they disapprove.
    There is much practical wisdom in these writings too. For example, they teach the warrior to love his enemies. And this is perceptive, for in loving his enemies, the warrior will be able to understand them; and in understanding them, he will be able to predict them; and in predicting them he will be able to conquer them and win their lands for his own.
    In any event, I have now told you of the way in which I became very virtuous, and how my virtue engendered hatred in those jealous bishops. Next I will tell you of how their hatred at last resolved itself against me.

The Fifth Part
    In Which I Tell Of How I LeftQuebec, Leaving Two Griefs Behind
    By the spring I had selected two stonemages who were to work with me on the Grief . One of these was an East American namedQuebble Steech, and the other had come from Germany and was namedAsken Hote. They had originally been employed by thebishopa to carry out repairs to the old cathedral and to other buildings around the town of Quebec. They worked very diligently, I will confess, but they did me a grave disservice, which I will describe in due course, so I have nothing good to say of them here.
    I will tell now of the building of the Grief .
    The first stage was setting the wall roots or foundation. For this, I had my myrmidons and slaves dig a great pit, fifty feet deep, delving out the area which the building would occupy. I then encapsulated the floor of the pit inSheet Walls, shored withSeizure Lines, and heated it so it was fused into solid rock. I carried out the same procedure upon the walls of the pit—after installing pipes for the drainage of rainwater, of course, for I did not wish to create a reservoir!
    Upon the floor of this pit, I set out a pattern for the interior and exterior walls, which corresponded to the shape which might be seen if the finished building were sliced horizontally in the middle of the lowest level of cellar chambers. The myrmidons brought

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