us? To my mom? How could he lie to us all this time? And this other woman. How could she go after a man who already belonged to someone else ?”
Adam carefully removes my fist and holds my hand in both of his. “How did you find out?”
“He phoned to tell me. He—he said it ‘came to light,’ so now he had to tell me about it, and I don’t know what that means because I put the phone down after he reached the part about having another daughter. Another daughter! I’m supposed to be his only daughter!”
Adam rubs my hand. “Have you spoken to your mom?”
I close my eyes and shake my head. “I want to. And then I don’t. I don’t know what to say. If I’m feeling hurt, can you imagine how she must be feeling? And it’s really late. She’s probably … I don’t know. I just don’t know.” I grab a cushion and climb off the bed with it. I hug it to my chest as I pace. “I can’t figure out what to feel. One moment I’m furious, and then … I think about how … he didn’t want us.” I stop pacing. “He wanted someone else. And then I just want to cry. And crying’s so stupid. He’s not worth it.” I continue my angry stomping. “Horrible, lying, cheating—STUPID SHOES!” I yell as I trip over a pair of running shoes on the floor. “Why do things always jump in front of me when I’m trying to walk?”
“Well, uh—”
“Don’t answer that.” I sit on the edge of the bed with my arms wrapped around the cushion. “I’m sorry. We haven’t spoken all week, and now I’m dumping my problems on top of you.”
“Livi, we’ve been dumping our problems on top of each other for six years. That’s what friends do, remember?”
I shrug. Does that mean I should be telling my new friends about this? Somehow, I can’t imagine sitting down with Allegra, Charlotte, Courtney, and Amber and talking about my father’s secret relationship with another woman and how I suddenly have a sister. I imagine it would be more like discussing the latest scandal in their favourite TV show than them providing support for me through a difficult time.
Fortunately, I have Adam. And Sarah. Who will be receiving a call from me first thing in the morning.
“I think I should go to bed,” I say.
“Will you be able to sleep?”
I rub my eyes. “I don’t know.” Both my mind and body feel unbearably weary all of a sudden, so I sure hope so. “I’ll just … try to think of nothing.”
From: Alivia Howard
Sent: Sun 16 Mar, 1:04 am
To: Carl
Subject: Dear Carl
Dad is a gigantic ass.
And … I have a sister.
In. Sane.
(And I want to punch Dad.)
___________________________________
“Can I get you anything else?” Adam asks, eyeing my mug of tea and the open jar of peanut butter on the table in front of me.
I pull the spoon out of my mouth and shake my head. I don’t feel like eating anything in particular, but I’m hungry, and I like peanut butter. So here I am eating it for breakfast.
Adam turns back to the frying pan on the stove and cracks several eggs into it.
“My mom phoned this morning,” I say, slowly stirring my tea.
Adam swings around. “Oh. How is she? What did she say?”
“She’s … I don’t know. Angry, confused, hurt. She’s staying with my grandparents in Hillcrest. She found out about the affair on Friday night and left home yesterday morning.”
“Did she say how she found out?”
“Yes. So, um, apparently my parents never use each other’s laptops, but my dad was supposed to forward something to my mom—some document they both needed to sign or something—but the email didn’t go through. Dad said he sent it, but Mom said she never got it. Dad was in the shower, and Mom was frustrated that she hadn’t got this thing yet, so she opened up his laptop and looked at his emails. She couldn’t find it, so she thought maybe he’d deleted it by accident. She went to the Trash folder, and amongst all the other stuff there,
Kent Haruf
KATE BERNHEIMER
Kathryn Le Veque
Steve Herobrine
Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Anya Seton
Alex Blackmore
Brendan DuBois
J F Elferdink
Sarah Marie Porter