to be getting quieter … All the same,
I’m doomed! The lead will strike into my brain
like a stone into glistening mud—an instant—
and my thoughts will splatter out! If only
it were possible to juicily belch up the life
one’s lived, chew it anew and gulp it down,
and then once more to roll it with a fat,
ox-like tongue, to squeeze from its eternal
dregs the former sweetness of crisp grass,
drunk with the morning dew and the bitterness
of lilac leaves! O, God, if only one could
always feel deathly terror! That, God,
would be bliss! Every terror signifies
“I am,” and there’s no higher bliss! Terror—
but not the stillness of the grave! The groans
of suffering—but not the silence of the corpse!
This is wisdom, there can be no other!
I am prepared, having strummed my lyre,
to break it, to give up my melodious gift,
to become a leper, to weaken, to grow deaf,—
if only to remember some little thing, be it
the rustle of nails scratching a sore,—to me
that is sweeter than the songs of the otherworld!
I’m frightened, death nears … My taut heart
lurches heavily, like a sack in a cart, clattering
downhill, towards a cliff, towards an abyss!
It can’t be stopped! Death!
[ DANDILIO enters from a door on the right .]
DANDILIO:
Hush, hush, hush …
Ella has only just fallen asleep in there;
the poor thing lost a lot of blood; the child
is dead and the mother has lost her second
soul—the dearer one. But she seems better …
Only, you know, I am no doctor—I used
what books I had, but still …
KLIAN:
Dandilio!
My dear Dandilio! My wonderful, my radiant
Dandilio! … I cannot, I cannot …
for they will catch me here! I am doomed!
DANDILIO:
I must confess, I was not expecting such
guests; you could have warned me yesterday:
I would have decorated the parrot’s cage—
he’s very gloomy for some reason. Tell me,
Klian—I was busy with Ella, I didn’t fully
understand—how was it that you escaped
with her?
KLIAN:
I am doomed! How awful …
What a night! They forced their way … Ella
kept asking where the child was … The crowds
broke into the palace … We were overcome:
for five terrifying days we fought against
the hurricane that was the people’s dream;
last night all fell to ruins: they hunted us
through the palace—myself and Tremens,
others too … I ran, with Ella in my arms,
from hall to hall, through inner galleries,
and back again, and up and down, and heard
the howls, the shots, and once or twice Tremens’s
cold laugh … How Ella moaned, how she moaned!
Suddenly—a scrap of curtain, a chink behind it,—
I tugged: a passage! You understand—a secret
passage …
DANDILIO:
Of course I understand … It was,
I should think, needed by the King,
so he could fly away unnoticed—and,
then, after his winged adventures, return
to his labours …
KLIAN:
… and so I stumbled
in the sepulchral darkness, and walked and walked …
Suddenly—a wall: I pushed—and found myself
miraculously in an empty alley!
Only a gunshot sounded from time to time
and tore the air at its seam … I remembered
you live nearby—and so … we came to you …
But what shall we do next? To stay with you
would be madness! They will find me! Indeed,
the whole city knows you were once friendly
with mad Tremens, and christened his daughter! …
DANDILIO:
She is weak: she won’t survive another
such excursion. But where is Tremens?
KLIAN:
He fights …
I don’t know where … He himself advised me,
the day before, that I bring my sick Ella
to you … but it is dangerous here, I
am doomed! Understand,—I don’t know how,
I don’t know how to die, and it’s too late—
I won’t learn now, there is no time! They’re
coming for me now! …
DANDILIO:
Flee alone.
You still have time. I’ll give you a false
beard and glasses and you’ll be on your way.
KLIAN:
You think so?
DANDILIO:
Or if you want, I have
I’m doomed! The lead will strike into my brain
like a stone into glistening mud—an instant—
and my thoughts will splatter out! If only
it were possible to juicily belch up the life
one’s lived, chew it anew and gulp it down,
and then once more to roll it with a fat,
ox-like tongue, to squeeze from its eternal
dregs the former sweetness of crisp grass,
drunk with the morning dew and the bitterness
of lilac leaves! O, God, if only one could
always feel deathly terror! That, God,
would be bliss! Every terror signifies
“I am,” and there’s no higher bliss! Terror—
but not the stillness of the grave! The groans
of suffering—but not the silence of the corpse!
This is wisdom, there can be no other!
I am prepared, having strummed my lyre,
to break it, to give up my melodious gift,
to become a leper, to weaken, to grow deaf,—
if only to remember some little thing, be it
the rustle of nails scratching a sore,—to me
that is sweeter than the songs of the otherworld!
I’m frightened, death nears … My taut heart
lurches heavily, like a sack in a cart, clattering
downhill, towards a cliff, towards an abyss!
It can’t be stopped! Death!
[ DANDILIO enters from a door on the right .]
DANDILIO:
Hush, hush, hush …
Ella has only just fallen asleep in there;
the poor thing lost a lot of blood; the child
is dead and the mother has lost her second
soul—the dearer one. But she seems better …
Only, you know, I am no doctor—I used
what books I had, but still …
KLIAN:
Dandilio!
My dear Dandilio! My wonderful, my radiant
Dandilio! … I cannot, I cannot …
for they will catch me here! I am doomed!
DANDILIO:
I must confess, I was not expecting such
guests; you could have warned me yesterday:
I would have decorated the parrot’s cage—
he’s very gloomy for some reason. Tell me,
Klian—I was busy with Ella, I didn’t fully
understand—how was it that you escaped
with her?
KLIAN:
I am doomed! How awful …
What a night! They forced their way … Ella
kept asking where the child was … The crowds
broke into the palace … We were overcome:
for five terrifying days we fought against
the hurricane that was the people’s dream;
last night all fell to ruins: they hunted us
through the palace—myself and Tremens,
others too … I ran, with Ella in my arms,
from hall to hall, through inner galleries,
and back again, and up and down, and heard
the howls, the shots, and once or twice Tremens’s
cold laugh … How Ella moaned, how she moaned!
Suddenly—a scrap of curtain, a chink behind it,—
I tugged: a passage! You understand—a secret
passage …
DANDILIO:
Of course I understand … It was,
I should think, needed by the King,
so he could fly away unnoticed—and,
then, after his winged adventures, return
to his labours …
KLIAN:
… and so I stumbled
in the sepulchral darkness, and walked and walked …
Suddenly—a wall: I pushed—and found myself
miraculously in an empty alley!
Only a gunshot sounded from time to time
and tore the air at its seam … I remembered
you live nearby—and so … we came to you …
But what shall we do next? To stay with you
would be madness! They will find me! Indeed,
the whole city knows you were once friendly
with mad Tremens, and christened his daughter! …
DANDILIO:
She is weak: she won’t survive another
such excursion. But where is Tremens?
KLIAN:
He fights …
I don’t know where … He himself advised me,
the day before, that I bring my sick Ella
to you … but it is dangerous here, I
am doomed! Understand,—I don’t know how,
I don’t know how to die, and it’s too late—
I won’t learn now, there is no time! They’re
coming for me now! …
DANDILIO:
Flee alone.
You still have time. I’ll give you a false
beard and glasses and you’ll be on your way.
KLIAN:
You think so?
DANDILIO:
Or if you want, I have
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