The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy by Irvin D. Yalom, Molyn Leszcz Page B

behavior and then supportively articulate the vulnerability that lay beneath the offensive behavior. 14
    Interacting as a group member requires, among other things, that group therapists accept and admit their personal fallibility. Therapists who need to appear infallible offer a perplexing and obstructing example for their clients. At times they may be so reluctant to admit error that they become withholding or devious in their relationship with the group. For example, in one group, the therapist, who needed to appear omniscient, was to be out of town for the next meeting. He suggested to the group members that they meet without him and tape-record the meeting, and he promised to listen to the tape before the next session. He forgot to listen to the tape but did not admit this to the group. Consequently, the subsequent meeting, in which the therapist bluffed by avoiding mention of the previous leaderless session, turned out to be diffuse, confusing, and discouraging.
    Another example involves a neophyte therapist with similar needs. A group member accused him of making long-winded, confusing statements. Since this was the first confrontation of the therapist in this young group, the members were tense and perched on the edge of their chairs. The therapist responded by wondering whether he didn’t remind the client of someone from the past. The attacking member clutched at the suggestion and volunteered his father as a candidate; the crisis passed, and the group members settled back in their chairs. However, it so happened that previously this therapist had himself been a member of a group (of psychotherapy students) and his colleagues had repeatedly focused on his tendency to make long-winded, confusing comments. In fact, then, what had transpired was that the client had seen the therapist quite correctly but was persuaded to relinquish his perceptions. If one of the goals of therapy is to help clients test reality and clarify their interpersonal relationships, then this transaction was antitherapeutic. This is an instance in which the therapist’s needs were given precedence over the client’s needs in psychotherapy.†
    Another consequence of the need to be perfect occurs when therapists become overly cautious. Fearing error, they weigh their words so carefully, interacting so deliberately that they sacrifice spontaneity and mold a stilted, lifeless group. Often a therapist who maintains an omnipotent, distant role is saying, in effect, “Do what you will; you can’t hurt or touch me.” This pose may have the counterproductive effect of aggravating a sense of interpersonal impotence in clients that impedes the development of an autonomous group.
• In one group a young man named Les had made little movement for months despite vigorous efforts by the leader. In virtually every meeting the leader attempted to bring Les into the discussion, but to no avail. Instead, Les became more defiant and withholding, and the therapist became more active and insistent. Finally Joan, another member, commented to the therapist that he was like a stubborn father treating Les like a stubborn son and was bound and determined to make Les change. Les, she added, was relishing the role of the rebellious son who was determined to defeat his father. Joan’s comment rang true for the therapist; it clicked with his internal experience, and he acknowledged this to the group and thanked Joan for her comments .
    The therapist’s behavior in this example was extremely important for the group. In effect, he said, I value you the members, this group, and this mode of learning. Furthermore, he reinforced norms of self-exploration and honest interaction with the therapist. The transaction was helpful to the therapist (unfortunate are the therapists who cannot learn more about themselves in their therapeutic work) and to Les, who proceeded to explore the payoff in his defiant stance toward the therapist.
    Occasionally, less modeling is required of