around me. I try to be brave. I put an arm around my brother.
âYa Allah!â my mother says. âThis is making me insane.â
I nod like I understand.
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Here is what my mother is not saying: Meir Kahane, a militant rabbi and the founder of the Jewish DefenseLeague, has been shot by an Arab gunman after a speech in a ballroom at a Marriott hotel in New York City. The gunman fled the scene, shooting an elderly man in the leg in the process. He rushed into a cab that was waiting in front of the hotel, but then bolted out again and began running down the street, gun in hand. A law enforcement officer from the U.S. Postal Service, who happened to be passing by, exchanged fire with him. The gunman collapsed on the street. The newscasters couldnât help noting a gruesome detail: both Rabbi Kahane and the assassin had been shot in the neck. Neither was expected to live.
Now, the TV stations are updating the story constantly. An hour ago, while my sister, brother, and I slept away the last seconds we had of anything remotely resembling a childhood, my mother overheard the name Meir Kahane and looked up at the screen. The first thing she saw was footage of the Arab gunman, and her heart nearly stopped: it was my father.
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Itâs one in the morning by the time Uncle Ibrahim pulls up in front of our apartment. He has taken so long because he waited for his wife and children to get ready. He insisted they accompany him because, as a devout Muslim, he couldnât risk being alone in a car with a woman who was not his wifeâmy mother, in other words. There are five people in the car already. And there are four more of us trying to wedge in somehow. I feel mymotherâs anger rise: Sheâs just as devout as my uncle, but her children were going to be in the car with the two of them anyway, so what was the point of wasting all that time?
Soon, we are driving through a tunnel, the sickly fluorescent lights rushing over our heads. The car is crazily cramped. Weâre a giant knot of legs and arms. My mother needs to use the bathroom. Uncle Ibrahim asks if she wants to stop somewhere. She shakes her head. She says, âLetâs just get the kids to Brooklyn and then letâs go to the hospital. Okay? Quick as we can. Yulla .â
Itâs the first time anyone has used the word hospital . My father is in the hospital. Because heâs had an accident . That means he is hurt, but it also means he is not dead. The pieces of the puzzle start clicking together in my head.
When we get to BrooklynâAmmu Ibrahim lives in a vast brick apartment building near Prospect Parkâall nine of us fall out of the car in a tangled lump. Once weâre in the lobby, the elevator takes forever to come, so my mother, desperate for the bathroom, takes my hand and whisks me toward the staircase.
She takes the steps two at a time. I struggle to keep up. I see the second floor blur by, then the third. Ammuâs apartment is on the fourth. Weâre panting as we round the corner to his hallway. Weâre ecstatic that weâve made itâweâve beaten the elevator! And then we see three men in front of my uncleâs door. Two are wearing dark suitsand walking toward us slowly, their badges held high. The other man is a police officer, and heâs gripping his gun in its holster. My mother walks toward them. âI have to go to the bathroom,â she says, âand I will talk to you when Iâm done.â
The men look confused, but they let her go. Itâs only when she tries to bring me into the bathroom too that one of the dark suits puts his palm in the air, like a traffic cop.
âThe boy has to stay with us,â he says.
âHeâs my son,â she tells them. âHeâs coming with me.â
âWe canât allow it,â says the other dark suit.
My mother is puzzled, but only for a moment:
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