he could touch me. He said something. I didn’t hear it. Didn’t look at him. Just ran for the stairs.
I didn’t stop until I was in my room. Then I sat cross-legged on my bed, gulping oxygen. My shoulder burned. When I rolled up my sleeve, I saw a red mark for each of his lingers.
I stared at them. No one had ever hurt me before. My parents had never struck me. Never spanked me or even threatened to. I wasn’t the kind of girl who got into fistfights in catfights. Sure, I’d been pushed, jostled, elbowed … but grabbed and thrown across a room?
I yanked down my sleeve. Was I surprised? Derek had made me nervous from that first encounter in the pantry. When I realized he’d sent the note, I should have gone upstairs. If he’d tried to stop me, I should have screamed. But no, I had to be cool. Be clever. Bait him.
Yet I had no proof except marks on my arm that were already fading. Even if I still had them when I showed the nurses, Derek could say I’d lured him into the basement and flipped out, and he’d had to grab my arm to restrain me. After all, I was a diagnosed schizophrenic. Hallucinations and paranoia went with the territory.
I had to handle this myself.
I
should
handle this myself.
I’d led the proverbial sheltered life. I’d always known that meant I lacked the life experience I’d need to be a screenwriter. Here was my chance to start getting it.
I’d handle this. But to handle it, I needed to know exactly what I was up against.
***
I took Rae aside.
“Do you still want to see Simon and Derek’s files?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Then I’ll help you get them. Tonight.”
----
Fourteen
« ^ »
WE FOUND MRS. TALBOT setting out the evening snack. Carrot sticks and dip. Yum. Whatever complaints I had about Annette, at least I could always count on brownies at home.
“Hungry, girls? I’m not surprised. No one ate very much at dinner.”
She held out the plate. We each took a stick and dipped it.
“Chloe and I were thinking, Mrs. T,” Rae said. “About Tori.”
She set the plate on the table, eyes downcast as she nodded. “I know, dear. She’s taking Liz’s leaving very hard. They were close. I’m sure she’ll feel better once they can talk, but until then she may feel a little down while we get her … medication adjusted. We’ll need you girls to be extra nice to her.”
“Sure.” Rae licked dip off her finger. “We were wondering, though, whether it might be easier for her if she had the room to herself. I could sleep in Chloe’s.”
Mrs. Talbot handed Rae a napkin. “I don’t want to isolate her too much but, yes, she’d probably be happier alone for now.”
“Just for now?”
The nurse smiled. “No, you can move in with Chloe permanently, if that’s what you’d both like.”
***
While Tori was downstairs watching television, Rae started to move, as if afraid Miss Van Dop or Dr. Gill would veto the change.
She handed me a stack of T-shirts. “It’s Simon, isn’t it?”
“Hmm?”
“You want to know what Simon is in for.”
“I don’t—”
She draped her jeans over her arms and waved me out. “You two have been chatting every meal. At first, I thought maybe he was using you to throw Tori off his trail, but she wasn’t paying any attention today, and he kept talking.”
“I’m not—”
“Hey, you like him. That’s fine.” She opened Liz’s bottom drawer. It was empty—every trace of her cleaned out while we’d been in class. “I don’t care for the guy, but that’s just my opinion. Maybe he’s just stuck up with me because I’m not in his league.”
“League?”
She held up a pair of jeans and pointed to the label. “You see anyone else in this place wearing jeans from Wal-Mart? It’s a private home. You gotta pay for it, and I bet it costs more than Motel 6. I’m the designated charity case.”
“I—”
“It’s cool. You treat me fine. So did Peter and—” a somber look around her new room “—Liz.
I didn’t stop until I was in my room. Then I sat cross-legged on my bed, gulping oxygen. My shoulder burned. When I rolled up my sleeve, I saw a red mark for each of his lingers.
I stared at them. No one had ever hurt me before. My parents had never struck me. Never spanked me or even threatened to. I wasn’t the kind of girl who got into fistfights in catfights. Sure, I’d been pushed, jostled, elbowed … but grabbed and thrown across a room?
I yanked down my sleeve. Was I surprised? Derek had made me nervous from that first encounter in the pantry. When I realized he’d sent the note, I should have gone upstairs. If he’d tried to stop me, I should have screamed. But no, I had to be cool. Be clever. Bait him.
Yet I had no proof except marks on my arm that were already fading. Even if I still had them when I showed the nurses, Derek could say I’d lured him into the basement and flipped out, and he’d had to grab my arm to restrain me. After all, I was a diagnosed schizophrenic. Hallucinations and paranoia went with the territory.
I had to handle this myself.
I
should
handle this myself.
I’d led the proverbial sheltered life. I’d always known that meant I lacked the life experience I’d need to be a screenwriter. Here was my chance to start getting it.
I’d handle this. But to handle it, I needed to know exactly what I was up against.
***
I took Rae aside.
“Do you still want to see Simon and Derek’s files?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Then I’ll help you get them. Tonight.”
----
Fourteen
« ^ »
WE FOUND MRS. TALBOT setting out the evening snack. Carrot sticks and dip. Yum. Whatever complaints I had about Annette, at least I could always count on brownies at home.
“Hungry, girls? I’m not surprised. No one ate very much at dinner.”
She held out the plate. We each took a stick and dipped it.
“Chloe and I were thinking, Mrs. T,” Rae said. “About Tori.”
She set the plate on the table, eyes downcast as she nodded. “I know, dear. She’s taking Liz’s leaving very hard. They were close. I’m sure she’ll feel better once they can talk, but until then she may feel a little down while we get her … medication adjusted. We’ll need you girls to be extra nice to her.”
“Sure.” Rae licked dip off her finger. “We were wondering, though, whether it might be easier for her if she had the room to herself. I could sleep in Chloe’s.”
Mrs. Talbot handed Rae a napkin. “I don’t want to isolate her too much but, yes, she’d probably be happier alone for now.”
“Just for now?”
The nurse smiled. “No, you can move in with Chloe permanently, if that’s what you’d both like.”
***
While Tori was downstairs watching television, Rae started to move, as if afraid Miss Van Dop or Dr. Gill would veto the change.
She handed me a stack of T-shirts. “It’s Simon, isn’t it?”
“Hmm?”
“You want to know what Simon is in for.”
“I don’t—”
She draped her jeans over her arms and waved me out. “You two have been chatting every meal. At first, I thought maybe he was using you to throw Tori off his trail, but she wasn’t paying any attention today, and he kept talking.”
“I’m not—”
“Hey, you like him. That’s fine.” She opened Liz’s bottom drawer. It was empty—every trace of her cleaned out while we’d been in class. “I don’t care for the guy, but that’s just my opinion. Maybe he’s just stuck up with me because I’m not in his league.”
“League?”
She held up a pair of jeans and pointed to the label. “You see anyone else in this place wearing jeans from Wal-Mart? It’s a private home. You gotta pay for it, and I bet it costs more than Motel 6. I’m the designated charity case.”
“I—”
“It’s cool. You treat me fine. So did Peter and—” a somber look around her new room “—Liz.
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