banks all over the country, selling sperm which has been donated by men identifiable to the purchaser only by numbers, and a few broad-stroke descriptions of their race, religion, and favorite hobbies." One of her colleagues let out a titter of a giggle over that information, and Barbara knew they had to all be wondering what this had to do with their child-development program.
"It's a chancy way to go, but women who wantbabies badly are willing to take the risk. Donor insemination obviates the discomfort of dating, awkward sex, and uncomfortable relationships. The irony is that the same women who were freed up by the sixties to have sex without the problems of babies, twenty years later find themselves eager to seize the opportunity to have babies without the problems of sex.
"What's happened with all of the reproductive technologies is that some important issues are being created that will affect us, the child-development professionals. In this era of embryo transfer, in vitro fertilization, menopausal mothers carrying pregnancies for their daughters, and much more, it seems what many of these families may not be considering fully is the psychological and emotional effect the circumstance of these births will have on the people being created.
"And I say it that way because even in our studies here of intact nuclear families, frequently the baby-craving is just that. I mean, there's little thought about what happens beyond the excitement of new babies, when the realities set in. When the babies become children who have language and begin to wonder about their genesis. In my private practice in the last two weeks, I've met with a single woman who's been donor inseminated twice, and a couple in which the heterosexual mother was inseminated by the baby's father, who is her homosexual male best friend. And in both cases the families have toddlers who are very verbal, and the parents are concerned." That got a few "Hmm"s.
"It'll take a long time before there's real data on how those babies will feel when they're adults, but I suspect that the key to making it all work has something to do with creating a loving context for them. To find warm ways to deal with cold realities.
"I'd like to alert pediatricians and run an ad in some publications in order to look for and then begin a groupfor those special families. I believe the world isn't prepared yet with a new way of thinking to go hand in hand with those newfound methods. That culturally, socially, ethically, morally, and legally, we don't have adequate rules or answers for the exquisitely complicated issues that have already come up around these methods. Nevertheless, we need to find some way for the families to operate now."
Louise Feiffer, the director of the program, was a tall dramatically attractive woman in her fifties, with high cheekbones, ivory skin, and dark hair pulled back into a bun. Barbara was relieved to see her bright-eyed and smiling as she went on.
"I want to conduct this group under the aegis of the hospital and our pediatric-development program, so I'm presenting it to all of you for discussion." She looked around now at the faces of the others. Hands went up, there were dozens of questions, surprise at the statistics, and a fascinated curiosity about Barbara's research.
"It's undoubtedly an exciting new area," Louise said. "I think we should try to work a group like that into our schedule."
An elated Barbara congratulated herself all the way home on the good job she'd done. She was glad to have the meeting out of the way before tonight. The romantic quiet celebration with Stan of their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Impossible, she thought. A twenty-fifth wedding anniversary is something that happens to somebody's aunt and uncle. Not two youngsters like Barbara and Stan Singer.
She had sworn to Stan that she didn't want a party. Just dinner, preferably with her family, but when she invited her mother, Gracie said there was some committee meeting
"It's a chancy way to go, but women who wantbabies badly are willing to take the risk. Donor insemination obviates the discomfort of dating, awkward sex, and uncomfortable relationships. The irony is that the same women who were freed up by the sixties to have sex without the problems of babies, twenty years later find themselves eager to seize the opportunity to have babies without the problems of sex.
"What's happened with all of the reproductive technologies is that some important issues are being created that will affect us, the child-development professionals. In this era of embryo transfer, in vitro fertilization, menopausal mothers carrying pregnancies for their daughters, and much more, it seems what many of these families may not be considering fully is the psychological and emotional effect the circumstance of these births will have on the people being created.
"And I say it that way because even in our studies here of intact nuclear families, frequently the baby-craving is just that. I mean, there's little thought about what happens beyond the excitement of new babies, when the realities set in. When the babies become children who have language and begin to wonder about their genesis. In my private practice in the last two weeks, I've met with a single woman who's been donor inseminated twice, and a couple in which the heterosexual mother was inseminated by the baby's father, who is her homosexual male best friend. And in both cases the families have toddlers who are very verbal, and the parents are concerned." That got a few "Hmm"s.
"It'll take a long time before there's real data on how those babies will feel when they're adults, but I suspect that the key to making it all work has something to do with creating a loving context for them. To find warm ways to deal with cold realities.
"I'd like to alert pediatricians and run an ad in some publications in order to look for and then begin a groupfor those special families. I believe the world isn't prepared yet with a new way of thinking to go hand in hand with those newfound methods. That culturally, socially, ethically, morally, and legally, we don't have adequate rules or answers for the exquisitely complicated issues that have already come up around these methods. Nevertheless, we need to find some way for the families to operate now."
Louise Feiffer, the director of the program, was a tall dramatically attractive woman in her fifties, with high cheekbones, ivory skin, and dark hair pulled back into a bun. Barbara was relieved to see her bright-eyed and smiling as she went on.
"I want to conduct this group under the aegis of the hospital and our pediatric-development program, so I'm presenting it to all of you for discussion." She looked around now at the faces of the others. Hands went up, there were dozens of questions, surprise at the statistics, and a fascinated curiosity about Barbara's research.
"It's undoubtedly an exciting new area," Louise said. "I think we should try to work a group like that into our schedule."
An elated Barbara congratulated herself all the way home on the good job she'd done. She was glad to have the meeting out of the way before tonight. The romantic quiet celebration with Stan of their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Impossible, she thought. A twenty-fifth wedding anniversary is something that happens to somebody's aunt and uncle. Not two youngsters like Barbara and Stan Singer.
She had sworn to Stan that she didn't want a party. Just dinner, preferably with her family, but when she invited her mother, Gracie said there was some committee meeting
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