renewed. His finger hovers there, close enough for me to feel (or at least imagine I can feel) the warmth from his hand.
‘Harry!’ gasps Lucille.
Harry doesn’t answer but he puts his hand down again. ‘Esther,’ he says softly. ‘You trust me, right?’
‘Of course I do,’ I mutter.
‘Then you must believe me that everything will be fine. I’m promising you.’
I nod, feeling calmer, even though I know what he says can only be wishful thinking. Because how could everything be fine? I’ve seen so many renewals and I know exactly what will happen. At evening chat tonight, we’ll announce to the followers that Harry will be going away for a short while. For spiritual revitalising and soul cleansing . We’ll pretend that it’s nothing more than a health check-up.
Tomorrow, Lucille and I will start preparing a set of clothes for Harry – the ones he’ll wear when he leaves. We’ll all behave like nothing terrible is going to happen. In a few days, the second message will come – the one announcing that today is the day. Harry will dress in his renewal clothes. We will share a last meal together. Then Harry will walk out the door and I will never see him again.
Time begins passing in morse-code moments: some long and drawn-out, others passing in a flash. Harry and Felicity work on the farm from first light until sunset, planting new crops. I am sure Harry is trying to pass on as much information as he can, and Felicity will try her best to absorb it all – but she is far too young to replace him on the farm in any real way.
It’s always been Harry’s task to find the new Special Ones when someone is renewed. But who will find the new Harry? The new Harry. It’s impossible to accept this concept.
One night, as I lie awake in bed, Harry knocks on my door. ‘Come out here,’ he says. His voice sounds different. ‘I’ve got something I want to show you.’
Quickly I tie my robe around me and hurry to the door. Harry is standing in the hallway, dressed in his day clothes.
‘What’s wrong? Is someone sick?’
‘Everything’s fine. I just want to show you something. And before you ask, yes – you can leave your room.’
He turns and walks off down the corridor. I pad along behind. He leads me through the parlour, and when we arrive at the front door Harry opens it wide and walks through.
‘Where are we going?’ I’m having crazy thoughts. Harry is planning to run away and he wants me to come with him . Would I go?
‘Don’t worry, we won’t break any rules,’ he says. He steps out onto the verandah, the wooden planks creaking as he walks across to a blanket that has been spread out across the boards. Harry sits down on it and pats the space beside him. ‘Come and sit,’ he says.
I hesitate. I am fairly sure that he has not really given me permission to be out here in the middle of the night with Harry. And although I’ve never spotted any cameras out here that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
‘Don’t be nervous,’ Harry says in a low voice. ‘I won’t do anything … forbidden , I promise.’
I feel a strange flip in my stomach, but I’m not sure if it’s relief or disappointment. I walk over to the blanket and sit down at the far edge of it.
‘Now,’ says Harry. ‘Look up.’
I tilt my head up and gasp. A hole has been cut in the roof of the verandah – about the size of a large door – and through the gap I can see the sky, black and cloudless, strewn with stars.
‘What do you think?’ says Harry. He seems nervous and so adorably shy that my heart pirouettes.
‘Did you do this?’ I whisper. ‘For me?’
‘Yes.’
‘But why?’
‘Because you said the other night that you used to like lying down and looking at the night sky,’ he explains. He sounds a little embarrassed. ‘I wanted you to have the chance to do it again, before I left.’
I begin to laugh. ‘So – you destroyed the roof just so I can see the stars?’
‘Well, I didn’t
‘Harry!’ gasps Lucille.
Harry doesn’t answer but he puts his hand down again. ‘Esther,’ he says softly. ‘You trust me, right?’
‘Of course I do,’ I mutter.
‘Then you must believe me that everything will be fine. I’m promising you.’
I nod, feeling calmer, even though I know what he says can only be wishful thinking. Because how could everything be fine? I’ve seen so many renewals and I know exactly what will happen. At evening chat tonight, we’ll announce to the followers that Harry will be going away for a short while. For spiritual revitalising and soul cleansing . We’ll pretend that it’s nothing more than a health check-up.
Tomorrow, Lucille and I will start preparing a set of clothes for Harry – the ones he’ll wear when he leaves. We’ll all behave like nothing terrible is going to happen. In a few days, the second message will come – the one announcing that today is the day. Harry will dress in his renewal clothes. We will share a last meal together. Then Harry will walk out the door and I will never see him again.
Time begins passing in morse-code moments: some long and drawn-out, others passing in a flash. Harry and Felicity work on the farm from first light until sunset, planting new crops. I am sure Harry is trying to pass on as much information as he can, and Felicity will try her best to absorb it all – but she is far too young to replace him on the farm in any real way.
It’s always been Harry’s task to find the new Special Ones when someone is renewed. But who will find the new Harry? The new Harry. It’s impossible to accept this concept.
One night, as I lie awake in bed, Harry knocks on my door. ‘Come out here,’ he says. His voice sounds different. ‘I’ve got something I want to show you.’
Quickly I tie my robe around me and hurry to the door. Harry is standing in the hallway, dressed in his day clothes.
‘What’s wrong? Is someone sick?’
‘Everything’s fine. I just want to show you something. And before you ask, yes – you can leave your room.’
He turns and walks off down the corridor. I pad along behind. He leads me through the parlour, and when we arrive at the front door Harry opens it wide and walks through.
‘Where are we going?’ I’m having crazy thoughts. Harry is planning to run away and he wants me to come with him . Would I go?
‘Don’t worry, we won’t break any rules,’ he says. He steps out onto the verandah, the wooden planks creaking as he walks across to a blanket that has been spread out across the boards. Harry sits down on it and pats the space beside him. ‘Come and sit,’ he says.
I hesitate. I am fairly sure that he has not really given me permission to be out here in the middle of the night with Harry. And although I’ve never spotted any cameras out here that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
‘Don’t be nervous,’ Harry says in a low voice. ‘I won’t do anything … forbidden , I promise.’
I feel a strange flip in my stomach, but I’m not sure if it’s relief or disappointment. I walk over to the blanket and sit down at the far edge of it.
‘Now,’ says Harry. ‘Look up.’
I tilt my head up and gasp. A hole has been cut in the roof of the verandah – about the size of a large door – and through the gap I can see the sky, black and cloudless, strewn with stars.
‘What do you think?’ says Harry. He seems nervous and so adorably shy that my heart pirouettes.
‘Did you do this?’ I whisper. ‘For me?’
‘Yes.’
‘But why?’
‘Because you said the other night that you used to like lying down and looking at the night sky,’ he explains. He sounds a little embarrassed. ‘I wanted you to have the chance to do it again, before I left.’
I begin to laugh. ‘So – you destroyed the roof just so I can see the stars?’
‘Well, I didn’t
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