from his kisses. When he finally backed off, I gasped for breath and reached straight for the door.
“Ellen?” he said.
I looked back and saw his confused look. “I have to go,” I said quickly, got out of the car, and ran into the house.
I could still taste him in my mouth. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and then went straight to bed, though it was still quite early. Not long ago I had dreamed about Derrick kissing me, but it certainly hadn’t felt like I had fantasized.
I was still awake a few hours later when the phone rang. I climbed out of bed and prayed it wouldn’t be Derrick.
”Hello?” I said, picking it up.
There was nothing but silence. “Hello?” I said again.
“Ellen,” a man’s voice said. My father’s voice. I slammed down the phone quickly.
I paced around the house frantically. Why was I here alone? It wasn’t safe. I ran and locked all the windows and doors and finally curled up under my covers with the phone clutched to my chest. Every cell in my body seemed to be screaming “CALL NEIL!” but I just couldn’t. If I called and he hung up on me, I don’t think I could take it.
***
Several hours later when I finally fell asleep, I dreamt I was in the woods, something I had not done in weeks. I could hear movement in the woods, but I couldn’t see anyone there. “Please come out,” I cried. “Please.” I sat in the cool grass and prayed my wolf would come out and speak to me. I had missed him. I felt so alone.
I had nearly given up hope when he finally came out of the woods and moved towards me. He looked even larger than before and for the first time I felt a tremor of fear when I saw him.
“I am not the one you need to fear, Ellen,” his voice boomed in my mind.
When he was near enough I buried my face in the thick fun around his neck and held him close to me. “I’m so glad you’re back,” I said. “I need someone to talk to.”
“Why not talk to your boyfriend,” he growled.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said, disgusted. “I just don’t know what to do. He likes me… my mom likes him, my brother likes him. I think he’s cute, but he’s just not Neil.” My voice cracked as I said his name. “I miss him so much. He won’t even talk to me. I still don’t understand what happened.”
“Did you do anything to warrant this treatment?” the wolf asked.
I thought back to that night in my room, alone with Derrick, wanting nothing more than for him to kiss me. “Yes,” I said, my tears wetting his fur. “It hurts so much,” I said, sobbing.
“He is hurting too,” the wolf replied.
Chapter 12
We went out again the next weekend, against my better judgment. I was enjoying my time with Derrick less and less, but it was still more appealing than sitting alone at home.
On Wednesday Austin had answered the phone in the evening and it sounded like a wrong number. When he came back into the living room he told me he could hear breathing, but no one said a word. My mom and Austin thought I was paranoid thinking it was Dad, but I knew he was out there somewhere, and I sure wasn’t going to sit at home alone and wait for him to stop by.
So, Friday Derrick took me to a movie. I didn’t actually get to see much of the movie since I was too busy swatting his hands away. It started out with just kissing, which I didn’t mind too much, but when he moved a hand up the front of my shirt I could have killed him. We were surrounded by people and I’m sure at least the people to our sides and behind us could see what he was doing.
I crossed my arms tight across my chest and it was fine for a little while. I watched a little of the movie, and when Derrick leaned over and whispered “sorry” in my ear, I let my arms relax back to my side. Big mistake. A few minutes later he slid my hand over onto his leg. I tried to pull back, but his grip was merciless. The more I
“Ellen?” he said.
I looked back and saw his confused look. “I have to go,” I said quickly, got out of the car, and ran into the house.
I could still taste him in my mouth. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and then went straight to bed, though it was still quite early. Not long ago I had dreamed about Derrick kissing me, but it certainly hadn’t felt like I had fantasized.
I was still awake a few hours later when the phone rang. I climbed out of bed and prayed it wouldn’t be Derrick.
”Hello?” I said, picking it up.
There was nothing but silence. “Hello?” I said again.
“Ellen,” a man’s voice said. My father’s voice. I slammed down the phone quickly.
I paced around the house frantically. Why was I here alone? It wasn’t safe. I ran and locked all the windows and doors and finally curled up under my covers with the phone clutched to my chest. Every cell in my body seemed to be screaming “CALL NEIL!” but I just couldn’t. If I called and he hung up on me, I don’t think I could take it.
***
Several hours later when I finally fell asleep, I dreamt I was in the woods, something I had not done in weeks. I could hear movement in the woods, but I couldn’t see anyone there. “Please come out,” I cried. “Please.” I sat in the cool grass and prayed my wolf would come out and speak to me. I had missed him. I felt so alone.
I had nearly given up hope when he finally came out of the woods and moved towards me. He looked even larger than before and for the first time I felt a tremor of fear when I saw him.
“I am not the one you need to fear, Ellen,” his voice boomed in my mind.
When he was near enough I buried my face in the thick fun around his neck and held him close to me. “I’m so glad you’re back,” I said. “I need someone to talk to.”
“Why not talk to your boyfriend,” he growled.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said, disgusted. “I just don’t know what to do. He likes me… my mom likes him, my brother likes him. I think he’s cute, but he’s just not Neil.” My voice cracked as I said his name. “I miss him so much. He won’t even talk to me. I still don’t understand what happened.”
“Did you do anything to warrant this treatment?” the wolf asked.
I thought back to that night in my room, alone with Derrick, wanting nothing more than for him to kiss me. “Yes,” I said, my tears wetting his fur. “It hurts so much,” I said, sobbing.
“He is hurting too,” the wolf replied.
Chapter 12
We went out again the next weekend, against my better judgment. I was enjoying my time with Derrick less and less, but it was still more appealing than sitting alone at home.
On Wednesday Austin had answered the phone in the evening and it sounded like a wrong number. When he came back into the living room he told me he could hear breathing, but no one said a word. My mom and Austin thought I was paranoid thinking it was Dad, but I knew he was out there somewhere, and I sure wasn’t going to sit at home alone and wait for him to stop by.
So, Friday Derrick took me to a movie. I didn’t actually get to see much of the movie since I was too busy swatting his hands away. It started out with just kissing, which I didn’t mind too much, but when he moved a hand up the front of my shirt I could have killed him. We were surrounded by people and I’m sure at least the people to our sides and behind us could see what he was doing.
I crossed my arms tight across my chest and it was fine for a little while. I watched a little of the movie, and when Derrick leaned over and whispered “sorry” in my ear, I let my arms relax back to my side. Big mistake. A few minutes later he slid my hand over onto his leg. I tried to pull back, but his grip was merciless. The more I
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