sob. “I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t have told you that if I had known.”
He stopped pacing and looked at her, like her words stabbed him through and through. “Why? I thought you loved me?”
“Micah, sweet heart, listen to me. You don’t. Need my soul. To have my love.”
“Yes! I! Do!” The words thundered and Sarah covered her mouth with both hands, sobbing, terrified now. Don’t panic. Shit, don’t panic.
“You listen to me,” she finally said, her voice quivering with false strength. “You are wrong, do you hear me? Wrong!” Her attempt at authority fizzled out like a wet firecracker.
He paced faster, raking his hands in his hair again. He nodded. “Okay, okay.” Hope slowly surfaced in her blood at the hint of reasoning. “How about we talk about this, okay?”
“Yes!” she gasped, trying to hold in her panic. “We will work this out, and you will see, I have more love than you can possibly need.” A sob accompanied her final word and she covered her mouth to stifle the wave of them that wanted out.
He hurried to the bed and froze in his tracks when she jumped back. “Sweetheart.” He stared at her, appearing horrified. “I’m so sorry, I did not mean to scare you.”
At hearing the suddenly sane tone, Sarah began to shake, searching his face for signs of delusion. At finding none, she lunged at him and hugged his neck. “I’m scared, you scared me, Micah, I love you.”
“Shhh, I’m so fucking sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He unlatched her arms from his neck and sat on the bed next to her. “Listen. We can work this out. We’ll talk. And you’ll come to see that you don’t need God, I’m more than capable of taking care of you.”
Dread twisted her stomach at his words but she nodded. “Okay sweetie, let’s talk then.”
“ Okay, first, do you understand that God isn’t really who he claims to be?”
He asked the question like he spoke to a delusional child. Sarah forced herself to think like a doctor and not let the tears come. “Explain that please?”
He stroked her cheek. “Okay love, okay. I mean, he says he’s good and supreme, but really, he’s not. Really he’s cruel and hateful and evil.”
Shit. “Okay.”
His eyes brightened. “You understand?”
Sarah’s heart hammered in her ears as she thought of the least flammable answer. “I…think you believe what you’re saying…but I…I don’t believe that.” Dammit, another small sob escaped.
He sighed and dropped his head for several moments then finally looked at her, a deep harrowing sorrow dulling his beautiful eyes. “I can prove it.”
She swiped away the tears, grateful for something that might buy her time. “Okay, yes, I’d like that.”
“You would?”
She nodded vigorously at the small flicker of hope in his gaze. “Absolutely baby, I don’t claim to know everything, if you have proof, then I’m open. I love you. I’m here. Listening.”
He scooped her up in a hug, gasping in her ear. “Thank you.” He kissed her temple repeatedly. “Thank you so much.”
“I love you Micah.”
He set her down and gave her a soft lingering kiss. “Not as much as I love you.” He pushed her hair behind her ear and brightened a little. “How about we eat dinner, take that bubble bath and relax. Then we can talk. Is that fine with you? Would you like me to bathe you?” He stroked her face and her chest clenched with need for the sane man in him.
She nodded. “Yes, I’d love that. I’m starving.” Her smile trembled with the quivered words.
His face fell with immense regret. “Sarah, please forgive me, I didn’t mean to scare the shit out of you like that. It’s just…this is extremely important, I would never do this if it weren’t. Do you trust me still?”
A bolt of hope slammed into her at hearing the sanity in his words, at seeing the clarity in his gaze. It wasn’t just sincerity she heard in his voice, but an urgency. This was important for more reasons than she
He stopped pacing and looked at her, like her words stabbed him through and through. “Why? I thought you loved me?”
“Micah, sweet heart, listen to me. You don’t. Need my soul. To have my love.”
“Yes! I! Do!” The words thundered and Sarah covered her mouth with both hands, sobbing, terrified now. Don’t panic. Shit, don’t panic.
“You listen to me,” she finally said, her voice quivering with false strength. “You are wrong, do you hear me? Wrong!” Her attempt at authority fizzled out like a wet firecracker.
He paced faster, raking his hands in his hair again. He nodded. “Okay, okay.” Hope slowly surfaced in her blood at the hint of reasoning. “How about we talk about this, okay?”
“Yes!” she gasped, trying to hold in her panic. “We will work this out, and you will see, I have more love than you can possibly need.” A sob accompanied her final word and she covered her mouth to stifle the wave of them that wanted out.
He hurried to the bed and froze in his tracks when she jumped back. “Sweetheart.” He stared at her, appearing horrified. “I’m so sorry, I did not mean to scare you.”
At hearing the suddenly sane tone, Sarah began to shake, searching his face for signs of delusion. At finding none, she lunged at him and hugged his neck. “I’m scared, you scared me, Micah, I love you.”
“Shhh, I’m so fucking sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He unlatched her arms from his neck and sat on the bed next to her. “Listen. We can work this out. We’ll talk. And you’ll come to see that you don’t need God, I’m more than capable of taking care of you.”
Dread twisted her stomach at his words but she nodded. “Okay sweetie, let’s talk then.”
“ Okay, first, do you understand that God isn’t really who he claims to be?”
He asked the question like he spoke to a delusional child. Sarah forced herself to think like a doctor and not let the tears come. “Explain that please?”
He stroked her cheek. “Okay love, okay. I mean, he says he’s good and supreme, but really, he’s not. Really he’s cruel and hateful and evil.”
Shit. “Okay.”
His eyes brightened. “You understand?”
Sarah’s heart hammered in her ears as she thought of the least flammable answer. “I…think you believe what you’re saying…but I…I don’t believe that.” Dammit, another small sob escaped.
He sighed and dropped his head for several moments then finally looked at her, a deep harrowing sorrow dulling his beautiful eyes. “I can prove it.”
She swiped away the tears, grateful for something that might buy her time. “Okay, yes, I’d like that.”
“You would?”
She nodded vigorously at the small flicker of hope in his gaze. “Absolutely baby, I don’t claim to know everything, if you have proof, then I’m open. I love you. I’m here. Listening.”
He scooped her up in a hug, gasping in her ear. “Thank you.” He kissed her temple repeatedly. “Thank you so much.”
“I love you Micah.”
He set her down and gave her a soft lingering kiss. “Not as much as I love you.” He pushed her hair behind her ear and brightened a little. “How about we eat dinner, take that bubble bath and relax. Then we can talk. Is that fine with you? Would you like me to bathe you?” He stroked her face and her chest clenched with need for the sane man in him.
She nodded. “Yes, I’d love that. I’m starving.” Her smile trembled with the quivered words.
His face fell with immense regret. “Sarah, please forgive me, I didn’t mean to scare the shit out of you like that. It’s just…this is extremely important, I would never do this if it weren’t. Do you trust me still?”
A bolt of hope slammed into her at hearing the sanity in his words, at seeing the clarity in his gaze. It wasn’t just sincerity she heard in his voice, but an urgency. This was important for more reasons than she
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