The Secret Lives of Hoarders: True Stories of Tackling Extreme Clutter by Matt Paxton, Phaedra Hise Page A

leading neatly to the next. Every situation has its own course that requires a lot of patience, insight, and flexibility to navigate. But each cleanup needs to include some key elements in order to succeed.
    Whoever instigates the cleanup, which in most cases is a close family member but which can be a friend or professional, will need to answer these questions, among others:
    What am I dealing with in this situation?
    Who are all the people involved? (Spouse, children, friends, and neighbors)
    How can I get the hoarder on board with this cleanup?
    Who will help me?
    What are the expectations and goals we should have?
    Is there a timeline that we need to follow for the cleanup?
    What happens if the best-laid plans go awry?

ASSESSING THE CLEANUP
    In the previous chapters of this book, we looked at the what, who, and why of hoarding, which provide the foundation for building an effective effort. Each situation is unique, but by identifying each part of the problem, you can determine the best overall approach.
    The optimal cleanup looks like Roger’s: The hoarder is involved because the family has patiently coaxed him in that direction. By the time he is ready to start, the family has a plan in place to be able to move ahead. Roger’s sisters spent quality time assessing the situation and determining how the cleanup could take place.
    Kathy knew what her parents’ house looked like, but even she was surprised when the team showed up for the first cleaning. Roger’s hoarding had spread throughout the house, and she wasn’t expecting to see the extent of the clutter. Hoarding can move quickly after trauma.
    Kathy knew that she could handle seeing her parents’ house a mess. But some other family members might have gotten too upset, so it was important to make sure that everyone involved was prepared—and that whatever they might feel about Roger’s part in creating the mess would be held back. If there is a family member who tends to get anxious or angry, is easily grossed out or overtly critical, that person is not the right one to assess the condition of the house or to help during the cleanup.
    Someone does need to visit and determine the severity of the hoarding and what’s being hoarded, so that the planner can figure out how other team members might be helpful. It’s great if this is someone who can stay in touch with the hoarder and visit again, to reassess when cleaning time is near.
    Even if Roger had not been cooperative, the plan that his family put in place was flexible enough—and they were patient enough—to let things take their course without undue pressure.
    An important part of the plan—and perhaps the most obvious one—was how to actually accomplish the cleanup. Roger’s family felt that they could take care of things themselves since many people were willing to pitch in to help. They had determined in advance what needed to be done. They knew the extent of the hoarding, what was being hoarded, and the potential value (or otherwise) of the stuff that filled the house. But, like all best-laid plans, when things didn’t go quite as intended, they were able to step back, adapt their schedule, and give Roger the time and space he needed. As Roger’s sisters learned, cleanup plans can sometimes take years to implement. Patience and acceptance are critical tools for anyone who works with a hoarder.

WHO’S AFFECTED BY HOARDING?
    There is rarely an instance of hoarding that doesn’t involve many people, directly or indirectly. The impact can be very far reaching, from family and friends to neighbors and even total strangers. Whoever initiates a cleanup needs to be aware of who falls within the circle of damage and how they are affected. As the attempts to organize a cleanup move forward, there can be many unexpected—and often unpleasant—surprises for the unprepared. On the other hand, knowing who is involved, even tangentially, in