himself.”
“And he makes the boyfriend look so noble,” Bonnie said. “Not the way it happened. When he broke up with you, you’d just broken your ankle.”
“And he didn’t even have the grace to tell you he was breaking up,” Kate said. “This part is way off.”
“It’s not supposed to be my life,” I reminded them. “It’s not me.” But no one seemed to be getting that as the TV Olivia merrily bulldozed over everyone in her path, unconcerned about the destruction left in her wake. In one scene she jaywalked and snarled traffic all the way to Interstate 95. In another scene, after a bus sprayed her with a puddle, she filled the seats with shaving cream, which the audience seemed to find hilarious.
Through it all, TV Olivia criticized life in Baltimore at every turn, complaining about the slow pace of business and the smallness of events, about the stoop sitters and the crab pickers, the downtown traffic and the hicks of Highlandtown. She mocked the Baltimore accent and called the commercialized Harborplace a tourist trap.
I think that was the most disconcerting element—the way this character disparaged the entire city, all its customs, people and landmarks.
“She’s nothing like me,” I said when the TV Olivia dressed down a traffic cop, telling him he needed remedial traffic school. “You call this a city? You shouldn’t be on the same coast as New York, palsy.”
“See?” I defended myself. “I would never call a police officer pal-zee.”
As if in unison, the girls turned to me with accusing eyes.
I licked salt crystals from the rim of my glass. “What?”
Lanessa cocked her head to one side, the cool stance of a lawyer launching into cross-examination. “Oh, I think this is one part of the character that matches you. Not that it’s anything to be ashamed of, but you’ve said it yourself. You’re so done with Baltimore. What do you call it? The city without pity?”
Bonnie scraped at the crumbs in the pretzel bowl. “You’ve always planned to head back to New York when you put your life back together.”
“Baltimore is just a stop on the road, right?” Kate added.
“Well, maybe in my life, but I didn’t mean to imply that it’s a bad place to live.” I shook my head, as if that could toss off the accusations. How could my own friends twist my words that way? “You guys aren’t being fair. I just had my life raked over the coals and broadcast on television. On prime time!”
Lanessa cocked an eyebrow. “I thought it wasn’t you?”
I flung out my arms, exasperated. “Hello? Do you really think that show was about me? Nessa, come on. I thought you knew me better than that.”
“Hold on, girls.” Bonnie popped up and moved a metallic sculpture from the coffee table. “Just need to protect the valuables in case you two decide to arm wrestle or something.”
“To be fair, let’s not forget that Olivia has suffered a violation of her privacy here,” Kate said evenly. “And a betrayal from someone she really cared about. That’s a major transgression.”
Lanessa cocked her head. “Meaning?”
“Meaning you need to be nice to me right now,” I said petulantly. “Defend me. Tell me how stupid the show was. Ply me with cheesecake.”
“Actually, I thought the show wasn’t too bad,” Bonnie said. “But I’ll get right on the cheesecake.”
“We’re on your side.” Kate patted my arm. “Even if you don’t love Baltimore, we can deal with that. You found a new home in New York, a career you love… Don’t let Bobby’s craziness derail you.” She shot Lanessa a look. “Say something nice to Olivia.”
Lanessa rolled her eyes. “Let’s not go all Ricki Lake here. Of course we support you, Livvy girl. But come on, if we can’t fun with you, who can?”
I picked up a black and white patterned throw pillow. “I am so glad my mother doesn’t have cable.”
“A lot of people don’t have it,” Kate said. “I’m sure a lot of people missed
“And he makes the boyfriend look so noble,” Bonnie said. “Not the way it happened. When he broke up with you, you’d just broken your ankle.”
“And he didn’t even have the grace to tell you he was breaking up,” Kate said. “This part is way off.”
“It’s not supposed to be my life,” I reminded them. “It’s not me.” But no one seemed to be getting that as the TV Olivia merrily bulldozed over everyone in her path, unconcerned about the destruction left in her wake. In one scene she jaywalked and snarled traffic all the way to Interstate 95. In another scene, after a bus sprayed her with a puddle, she filled the seats with shaving cream, which the audience seemed to find hilarious.
Through it all, TV Olivia criticized life in Baltimore at every turn, complaining about the slow pace of business and the smallness of events, about the stoop sitters and the crab pickers, the downtown traffic and the hicks of Highlandtown. She mocked the Baltimore accent and called the commercialized Harborplace a tourist trap.
I think that was the most disconcerting element—the way this character disparaged the entire city, all its customs, people and landmarks.
“She’s nothing like me,” I said when the TV Olivia dressed down a traffic cop, telling him he needed remedial traffic school. “You call this a city? You shouldn’t be on the same coast as New York, palsy.”
“See?” I defended myself. “I would never call a police officer pal-zee.”
As if in unison, the girls turned to me with accusing eyes.
I licked salt crystals from the rim of my glass. “What?”
Lanessa cocked her head to one side, the cool stance of a lawyer launching into cross-examination. “Oh, I think this is one part of the character that matches you. Not that it’s anything to be ashamed of, but you’ve said it yourself. You’re so done with Baltimore. What do you call it? The city without pity?”
Bonnie scraped at the crumbs in the pretzel bowl. “You’ve always planned to head back to New York when you put your life back together.”
“Baltimore is just a stop on the road, right?” Kate added.
“Well, maybe in my life, but I didn’t mean to imply that it’s a bad place to live.” I shook my head, as if that could toss off the accusations. How could my own friends twist my words that way? “You guys aren’t being fair. I just had my life raked over the coals and broadcast on television. On prime time!”
Lanessa cocked an eyebrow. “I thought it wasn’t you?”
I flung out my arms, exasperated. “Hello? Do you really think that show was about me? Nessa, come on. I thought you knew me better than that.”
“Hold on, girls.” Bonnie popped up and moved a metallic sculpture from the coffee table. “Just need to protect the valuables in case you two decide to arm wrestle or something.”
“To be fair, let’s not forget that Olivia has suffered a violation of her privacy here,” Kate said evenly. “And a betrayal from someone she really cared about. That’s a major transgression.”
Lanessa cocked her head. “Meaning?”
“Meaning you need to be nice to me right now,” I said petulantly. “Defend me. Tell me how stupid the show was. Ply me with cheesecake.”
“Actually, I thought the show wasn’t too bad,” Bonnie said. “But I’ll get right on the cheesecake.”
“We’re on your side.” Kate patted my arm. “Even if you don’t love Baltimore, we can deal with that. You found a new home in New York, a career you love… Don’t let Bobby’s craziness derail you.” She shot Lanessa a look. “Say something nice to Olivia.”
Lanessa rolled her eyes. “Let’s not go all Ricki Lake here. Of course we support you, Livvy girl. But come on, if we can’t fun with you, who can?”
I picked up a black and white patterned throw pillow. “I am so glad my mother doesn’t have cable.”
“A lot of people don’t have it,” Kate said. “I’m sure a lot of people missed
Similar Books
