a rich family, a girl called Camilla is going to learn to ride on her. Pandora says Camilla is so posh as to be unintelligible. Bert was dead sad, he said, ‘You and me will both end up in the knacker’s yard, gel’.
Sunday September 27th
Fifteenth after Trinity
Blossom went off at 10.30 AM. I gave her a sixteen-pence apple to take her mind off the heartbreak. Pandora ran after the little horse-box shouting, ‘I’ve changed my mind’, but it carried on.
Pandora has also changed her mind about Ian Smith. She never wants to see another pony or horse again. She is guilt-ridden about selling Blossom.
Ian Smith turned up at 2.30 PM and was turned away. There was an evil look on his black face as he stood in his horse-box and was driven away. Pandora’s father is going to his bank early tomorrow to cancel the cheque he wrote out last Thursday. There was an evil look on his face as well.
Monday September 28th
New Moon
Bert has got something wrong with his legs. The doctor says he needs daily nursing. I went in today but he is too heavy for me to lug about. The district nurse thinks that Bert will be better off in the Alderman Cooper Sunshine Home. But I don’t think he will. I pass by it on my way to school. It looks like a museum. The old people look like the exhibits.
Bert, you are dead old.
Fond of Sabre, beetroot and Woodbines.
We have nothing in common,
I am fourteen and a half,
You are eighty-nine.
You smell, I don’t.
Why we are friends
Is a mystery to me.
Tuesday September 29th
Bert doesn’t get on with his district nurse. He says he doesn’t like having his privates mauled about by a woman. Personally, I wouldn’t mind it.
Wednesday September 30th
I am glad September is nearly over, it has been nothing but trouble. Blossom gone. Pandora sad. Bert on his last legs. My father still out of work. My mother still besotted with creep Lucas.
Fall 1981
Thursday October 1st
7.30 AM
. Just woke up to find chin covered in spots! How can I face Pandora?
10 PM
. Avoided Pandora all day but she caught up with me in school dinners. I tried to eat with my hand over my chin but it proved very difficult. I confessed to her during the yoghurt. She accepted my disability very calmly. She said it made no difference to our love but I couldn’t help thinking that her kisses lacked their usual passion as we were saying goodnight after youth club.
Friday October 2nd
6 PM
. I am very unhappy and have once again turned to great literature for solace. It’s no surprise to me that intellectuals commit suicide, go mad or die from drink. We feel things more than other people. We know the world is rotten and that chins are ruined by spots. I am reading
Progress, Coexistence and Intellectual Freedom
, by Andrei D. Sakharov.
It is ‘an inestimably important document’ according to the cover.
11.30 PM. Progress, Coexistence and Intellectual Freedom
is inestimably
boring
, according to me, Adrian Mole.
I disagree with Sakharov’s analysis of the causes of the revivalism of Stalinism. We are doing Russia at school so I speak from knowledge.
Saturday October 3rd
Pandora is cooling off. She didn’t turn up at Bert’s today. I had to do his cleaning on my own.
Went to Sainsbury’s as usual in the afternoon; they are selling Christmas cakes. I feel that my life is slipping away.
I am reading
Wuthering Heights
. It is brilliant. If I could get Pandora up somewhere high, I’m sure we could regain our old passion.
Sunday October 4th
Sixteenth after Trinity
Persuaded Pandora to put her name down for the youth club’s mountain survival course in Derbyshire. Rick Lemon is sending an equipment list and permission form to our parents. Or in my case to my parent. I have only got two weeks to reach peak condition. I try to do fifty press-ups a night. I try to do them but fail. Seventeen is my best so far.
Monday October 5th
Bert has been kidnapped by Social Services! They are keeping him at the Alderman Cooper
Sunday September 27th
Fifteenth after Trinity
Blossom went off at 10.30 AM. I gave her a sixteen-pence apple to take her mind off the heartbreak. Pandora ran after the little horse-box shouting, ‘I’ve changed my mind’, but it carried on.
Pandora has also changed her mind about Ian Smith. She never wants to see another pony or horse again. She is guilt-ridden about selling Blossom.
Ian Smith turned up at 2.30 PM and was turned away. There was an evil look on his black face as he stood in his horse-box and was driven away. Pandora’s father is going to his bank early tomorrow to cancel the cheque he wrote out last Thursday. There was an evil look on his face as well.
Monday September 28th
New Moon
Bert has got something wrong with his legs. The doctor says he needs daily nursing. I went in today but he is too heavy for me to lug about. The district nurse thinks that Bert will be better off in the Alderman Cooper Sunshine Home. But I don’t think he will. I pass by it on my way to school. It looks like a museum. The old people look like the exhibits.
Bert, you are dead old.
Fond of Sabre, beetroot and Woodbines.
We have nothing in common,
I am fourteen and a half,
You are eighty-nine.
You smell, I don’t.
Why we are friends
Is a mystery to me.
Tuesday September 29th
Bert doesn’t get on with his district nurse. He says he doesn’t like having his privates mauled about by a woman. Personally, I wouldn’t mind it.
Wednesday September 30th
I am glad September is nearly over, it has been nothing but trouble. Blossom gone. Pandora sad. Bert on his last legs. My father still out of work. My mother still besotted with creep Lucas.
Fall 1981
Thursday October 1st
7.30 AM
. Just woke up to find chin covered in spots! How can I face Pandora?
10 PM
. Avoided Pandora all day but she caught up with me in school dinners. I tried to eat with my hand over my chin but it proved very difficult. I confessed to her during the yoghurt. She accepted my disability very calmly. She said it made no difference to our love but I couldn’t help thinking that her kisses lacked their usual passion as we were saying goodnight after youth club.
Friday October 2nd
6 PM
. I am very unhappy and have once again turned to great literature for solace. It’s no surprise to me that intellectuals commit suicide, go mad or die from drink. We feel things more than other people. We know the world is rotten and that chins are ruined by spots. I am reading
Progress, Coexistence and Intellectual Freedom
, by Andrei D. Sakharov.
It is ‘an inestimably important document’ according to the cover.
11.30 PM. Progress, Coexistence and Intellectual Freedom
is inestimably
boring
, according to me, Adrian Mole.
I disagree with Sakharov’s analysis of the causes of the revivalism of Stalinism. We are doing Russia at school so I speak from knowledge.
Saturday October 3rd
Pandora is cooling off. She didn’t turn up at Bert’s today. I had to do his cleaning on my own.
Went to Sainsbury’s as usual in the afternoon; they are selling Christmas cakes. I feel that my life is slipping away.
I am reading
Wuthering Heights
. It is brilliant. If I could get Pandora up somewhere high, I’m sure we could regain our old passion.
Sunday October 4th
Sixteenth after Trinity
Persuaded Pandora to put her name down for the youth club’s mountain survival course in Derbyshire. Rick Lemon is sending an equipment list and permission form to our parents. Or in my case to my parent. I have only got two weeks to reach peak condition. I try to do fifty press-ups a night. I try to do them but fail. Seventeen is my best so far.
Monday October 5th
Bert has been kidnapped by Social Services! They are keeping him at the Alderman Cooper
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