The Secret Desires of a Soccer Mom by Robyn Harding

package toward me. “I don’t know him very well and I
don’t really feel comfortable… you know how it is. Would you mind?”
    “Of course not. “ It was a sweet and
thoughtful gesture, especially since Janet and Karen would have only been
passing acquaintances. I knew Janet a little better since her son was in
Chloe’s grade at Rosedale. But she worked full-time as a receptionist for a gynecologist downtown, so we’d never spent a lot of time
together.
    “I know I didn’t know Karen well…” She
seemed to pick up my train of thought. “But I was just so devastated when I
heard. Especially given her recent… success .”
    “Yeah…” I nodded, only half following her
conversation. “We’ve all been really rocked by this.”
    “Oh, I know you were so close to her. I can
only imagine how you feel. It’s just so sad…” Her eyes began to mist up. “She
was in just over a week ago, and she was so happy, so full of joy… I mean, it
was finally happening for her, after all this time”
    “…Right.”
    “In a way,” Janet sniffed. “It’s like two
lives were lost.”
    Oh my God! Oh my God! I suddenly understood
what the heck she was talking about! “Thanks for the loaf,” I said, hastily.
“I’ll make sure Doug gets it. I’d better get back to the kids.”
    “Right. Okay. I’m sorry. Please give him
our condolences. And our loaf.”
    “Will do.” I shut the door before she’d
even had a chance to turn around.
    Jesus Christ! Holy shit! Oh my fucking
fuck! I paced the hallway, the loaf squashed in my right hand. This changed
everything—made it more complex, more suspicious, more sinister! It had taken
me a moment to catch on, but now it was crystal clear. Karen had been in to see
Janet’s gynaecologist boss. She had been happy and full of joy! It was all
finally happening for her! Karen was pregnant, and Janet obviously thought I
knew!
    I took a deep breath, intent on calming
myself. I had to process this new information. I mustn’t let it send me off the
deep end. Okay… stay cool. The number one cause of death in pregnant women
is homicide by the father of the child . I had heard that line on CSI:
Miami only a few nights earlier. Oh God, oh God. What did this mean?
    I knew Doug was desperate for a baby, so I
felt pretty sure he couldn’t have done it. Unless… the baby was actually
Javier’s! Doug did have that low-mobility sperm, after all. Perhaps, when Karen
told Doug she was leaving him to live with Javier and raise their love child on
canned ravioli and Ichiban, he freaked out and conked her on the head! Or…
Karen invited Javier over to tell him the good news about their baby, but when
he heard, he panicked at the thought of making such a huge commitment, and
bashed her one! Or, maybe, somehow, one of Doug’s sparse sperm had made it to
the egg and it was his baby! Karen and Doug were finally going to have the
child they’d always wanted. She broke it off with Javier, who, in a fit of
jealousy, came to her house and shoved her. She hit her head on the concrete
floor and—
    “I want to go home now,” Cameron said. I
jumped a little at his sudden and silent appearance.
    “Oh… hi, sweetie. It’s not time to go yet.
I’m going to order us some pizza.”
    “I want to go home. It’s boring here.”
    Oh Christ. I didn’t need this right now.
“Why don’t you go play with Spencer for a little while? The pizza will be here
soon.”
    “Spencer’s toys are boring. I want to go
home. I want to see my mom.”
    “Listen…” I leaned down so we were at eye
level. “Would you like to play a game with me? We’ve got snakes and ladders.”
    “No.”
    “We could do a puzzle?”
    “I want to go.” Cameron turned and started
heading toward the front door.
    “Spencer!” I shrieked, in need of
reinforcements. “Get down here!” I trotted behind Cameron. “We could do some colouring?”
    “No.” He began to put his shoes on.
    “Painting?”
    Spencer appeared behind me.