three-headed dog.
“That’s Hercules,” I said. “But how—”
“Never question a gift,” Hermes chided. “This is a collector’s item from Hercules Busts Heads . The first season.”
“ Hercules Busts Heads ?”
“Great show.” Hermes sighed. “Back before Hephaestus-TV was all reality programming. Of course, the thermos would be worth much more if I had the whole lunch box—”
Or if it hadn’t been in Martha’s mouth, George added. I’ll get you for that . Martha began chasing him around the
caduceus.
“Wait a minute,” I said. “This is a gift?”
“One of two,” Hermes said. “Go on, pick it up.”
I almost dropped it because it was freezing cold on one side and burning hot on the other. The weird thing was, when I turned the thermos, the side facing the ocean— north—was always the cold side. . . .
“It’s a compass!” I said.
Hermes looked surprised. “Very clever. I never thought of that. But its intended use is a bit more dramatic. Uncap it, and you will release the winds from the four corners of the earth to speed you on your way. Not now! And please, when the time comes, only unscrew the lid a tiny bit. The winds are a bit like me—always restless. Should all four escape at once . . . ah, but I’m sure you’ll be careful. And now my second gift. George?”
She’s touching me , George complained as he and Martha slithered around the pole.
“She’s always touching you,” Hermes said. “You’re intertwined. And if you don’t stop that, you’ll get knotted again!”
The snakes stopped wrestling.
George unhinged his jaw and coughed up a little plastic bottle filled with chewable vitamins.
“You’re kidding,” I said. “Are those Minotaur-shaped?”
Hermes picked up the bottle and rattled it. “The lemon ones, yes. The grape ones are Furies, I think. Or are they hydras? At any rate, these are potent. Don’t take one unless you really, really need it.”
“How will I know if I really, really need it?”
“You’ll know, believe me. Nine essential vitamins, minerals, amino acids . . . oh, everything you need to feel yourself again.”
He tossed me the bottle.
“Um, thanks,” I said. “But Lord Hermes, why are you helping me?”
He gave me a melancholy smile. “Perhaps because I hope that you can save many people on this quest, Percy. Not just your friend Grover.”
I stared at him. “You don’t mean . . . Luke ?”
Hermes didn’t answer.
“Look,” I said. “Lord Hermes, I mean, thanks and everything, but you might as well take back your gifts. Luke can’t be saved. Even if I could find him . . . he told me he wanted to tear down Olympus stone by stone. He betrayed everybody he knew. He—he hates you especially.”
Hermes gazed up at the stars. “My dear young cousin, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the eons, it’s that you can’t give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it. It doesn’t matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don’t appreciate your genius for inventing the Internet—”
“You invented the Internet?”
It was my idea , Martha said.
Rats are delicious , George said.
“It was my idea!” Hermes said. “I mean the Internet, not the rats. But that’s not the point. Percy, do you understand what I’m saying about family?”
“I—I’m not sure.”
“You will some day.” Hermes got up and brushed the sand off his legs. “In the meantime, I must be going.”
You have sixty calls to return , Martha said.
And one thousand-thirty-eight e-mails , George added. Not counting the offers for online discount ambrosia .
“And you, Percy,” Hermes said, “have a shorter deadline than you realize to complete your quest. Your friends should be coming right about . . . now.”
I heard Annabeth’s voice calling my name from the sand dunes. Tyson, too, was shouting from a little bit farther away.
“I hope I packed well for you,” Hermes said. “I do have some experience
“That’s Hercules,” I said. “But how—”
“Never question a gift,” Hermes chided. “This is a collector’s item from Hercules Busts Heads . The first season.”
“ Hercules Busts Heads ?”
“Great show.” Hermes sighed. “Back before Hephaestus-TV was all reality programming. Of course, the thermos would be worth much more if I had the whole lunch box—”
Or if it hadn’t been in Martha’s mouth, George added. I’ll get you for that . Martha began chasing him around the
caduceus.
“Wait a minute,” I said. “This is a gift?”
“One of two,” Hermes said. “Go on, pick it up.”
I almost dropped it because it was freezing cold on one side and burning hot on the other. The weird thing was, when I turned the thermos, the side facing the ocean— north—was always the cold side. . . .
“It’s a compass!” I said.
Hermes looked surprised. “Very clever. I never thought of that. But its intended use is a bit more dramatic. Uncap it, and you will release the winds from the four corners of the earth to speed you on your way. Not now! And please, when the time comes, only unscrew the lid a tiny bit. The winds are a bit like me—always restless. Should all four escape at once . . . ah, but I’m sure you’ll be careful. And now my second gift. George?”
She’s touching me , George complained as he and Martha slithered around the pole.
“She’s always touching you,” Hermes said. “You’re intertwined. And if you don’t stop that, you’ll get knotted again!”
The snakes stopped wrestling.
George unhinged his jaw and coughed up a little plastic bottle filled with chewable vitamins.
“You’re kidding,” I said. “Are those Minotaur-shaped?”
Hermes picked up the bottle and rattled it. “The lemon ones, yes. The grape ones are Furies, I think. Or are they hydras? At any rate, these are potent. Don’t take one unless you really, really need it.”
“How will I know if I really, really need it?”
“You’ll know, believe me. Nine essential vitamins, minerals, amino acids . . . oh, everything you need to feel yourself again.”
He tossed me the bottle.
“Um, thanks,” I said. “But Lord Hermes, why are you helping me?”
He gave me a melancholy smile. “Perhaps because I hope that you can save many people on this quest, Percy. Not just your friend Grover.”
I stared at him. “You don’t mean . . . Luke ?”
Hermes didn’t answer.
“Look,” I said. “Lord Hermes, I mean, thanks and everything, but you might as well take back your gifts. Luke can’t be saved. Even if I could find him . . . he told me he wanted to tear down Olympus stone by stone. He betrayed everybody he knew. He—he hates you especially.”
Hermes gazed up at the stars. “My dear young cousin, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the eons, it’s that you can’t give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it. It doesn’t matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don’t appreciate your genius for inventing the Internet—”
“You invented the Internet?”
It was my idea , Martha said.
Rats are delicious , George said.
“It was my idea!” Hermes said. “I mean the Internet, not the rats. But that’s not the point. Percy, do you understand what I’m saying about family?”
“I—I’m not sure.”
“You will some day.” Hermes got up and brushed the sand off his legs. “In the meantime, I must be going.”
You have sixty calls to return , Martha said.
And one thousand-thirty-eight e-mails , George added. Not counting the offers for online discount ambrosia .
“And you, Percy,” Hermes said, “have a shorter deadline than you realize to complete your quest. Your friends should be coming right about . . . now.”
I heard Annabeth’s voice calling my name from the sand dunes. Tyson, too, was shouting from a little bit farther away.
“I hope I packed well for you,” Hermes said. “I do have some experience
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