told myself . Then she’s gone and I’m back to my routine . As bad as it was, it wasn’t as bad as what she was bringing into my house. I came out with the cocoa and put it on the table. “I put milk in yours before I realized what I was doing. Is that okay?” “I like it with milk. It’s so cold today. Megan hates the cold.” “I can turn up the heat here if you like. I never put a lot of time into insulating the house.” “No. Just some blankets.” She sipped her cocoa. “Oh god, that’s good. I don’t think I’ve had cocoa for years. I’ve been so cold.” She took another sip. “This feels good.” And then she was crying softly which turned quickly into violent sobbing and shivering. I grabbed the cocoa from her hand and laid it on the coffee table. I watched her cry for a moment before I sat down and put my arm stiffly around her. We sat that way, awkwardly. My hand felt like a dead weight on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said between sobs and the clenching of her teeth. “I was just so cold.” *
The next day dawned to the sound of a scream. Not a horror movie scream, but the scream of an angry, bratty child. I rolled over and looked at the clock: 8:45 A.M. I sighed. Eileen and I had been up relatively late and the wine hadn’t helped. I wondered how her head was feeling. After a few more outbursts, it became obvious that sleep would be denied me. I stumbled up and pulled on some jeans and a turtleneck shirt. Shuffling into the kitchen I saw a red-faced Megan and an exasperated Eileen. “What’s wrong?” I plunked down into one of the kitchen chairs with a bit too much force. “I want my Fruit Loops!” Megan spat. “We’re staying with Mike and he doesn’t have any. You're being very rude!” “I can get some Fruit Loops,” I said softly. Neither of them seemed to hear me. “I don’t care!” Megan shrieked. “I can’t have anything I want. We have to go away. That’s all you ever say. I hate you!!” I could see Eileen bite back an angry salvo and it occurred to me that this wasn’t about Fruit Loops at all. “We’ve talked about this honey. We need to go away. You know why.” “I know that you want to go away.” “You know we have to go. I’ve explained it.” “Then why can’t we go to Grandma’s. She always has good stuff to eat. And she has toys for me. There are no toys here.” Then she started to cry. “Hello,” I said a little louder. “I can get Fruit Loops.” But Eileen was already hugging her daughter. “I’m sorry, Mike. I guess this is part of the package with us. We weren’t always this way.” She got a good look at me. “Oh, no! We woke you up! I’m so sorry.” She seemed on the verge of crying herself. “I can always go back to sleep. Do you really want Fruit Loops, Megan? All I have to do is run down to the store.” She looked the question at her mother who sighed and picked up her pocketbook from the kitchen table. “Look, here’s some money. I’ll make a list. At least if she has what she wants, she won’t be so angry and maybe you can sleep.” “No money needed. Remember I worked on the street for years.” I smiled, trying to keep it light. “I know, but we’re imposing on you already.” “Just give me the list. We can work all this out later. And I wouldn’t mind something to eat myself. Are you guys interested in McDonald’s breakfast?” At that, Megan perked up. “Sausage McMuffin,” she said quickly. Her mother looked aghast. “Megan! You’re being really rude. You ask Mike nicely for what you want.” “Could I please have a Sausage McMuffin? And the home fries. And the apple pie. Please.” I laughed and looked at her mother. “I guess you two going out during the day isn’t the best idea.” “At least for now. Do you mind?” “No. I’ll be back in a little while.” As I walked to the car I wondered if I could get away with spending the day at the movies. While I was