until after our walk.
Kitty didn’t speak at first, although I noticed her gaze fixed on me when she thought I wasn’t paying attention. Then, in a hurried outburst, she said, “I know I have been less than kind to you on occasion, Mary. I am sincerely sorry if I have caused you pain.”
I didn’t believe for a minute she had asked to walk with me to apologize for all the years she’d treated me so ill. When she resumed her speech, the nature of the apology soon became clear.
“Mr. Walsh is courting me, not you. It’s me he admires.”
I looked down, exhaling an impatient breath. “If that is the case, you can have nothing to worry about.”
“If you left High Tor, it would show him you have no regard for him.”
I’d spent half the night agonizing over whether to flee from Henry or to encourage his suit. To embrace the chance for personal happiness or simply leave it to Kitty to find hers. I’d been leaning toward the latter course of action, because vying with my sister for the same man left a bad taste in my mouth. Not to mention my own worries about my suitability as a wife and the wishes of my parents. But now that Kitty was demanding it, resistance rose in my chest until I felt it would burn a hole through my dress.
“But I do have regard for him, and, in any case, I cannot make him like you if he does not.”
Her face flooded with color. “But he does!” Indignantly, she said, “Speaking plainly, Mary, gentlemen do not care for girls who read and study and are as serious as you. He may admire you now, but it won’t last. Those qualities are not what men want in a wife.”
How dare she? “What you say may be true of many, perhaps even most men, but it is not a fair description of Henry Walsh.”
“Only think, Mary. Where are your looks? Your fashion?”
My temper yearned to break free, but I managed to keep it in check. “In one breath you apologize to me for treating me unkindly, and in the next you deliberately insult me. I’m not inclined to agree to your demands in the circumstances.”
I increased my pace so Kitty would have to hurry to keep up, but suddenly she stopped, so abruptly I had to turn back to hear what she was saying. “I have tried to be a better girl, so as not to end up like Lydia.” Tears welled up in her eyes and trickled down her face. “I have changed. I’m not so silly as I used to be. I’ve learned something about how to be in company from Jane and Lizzy.”
“You seem unwilling to show off your newly acquired manners here. You flirt with John Ashton, spend your time in foolish pursuits, and brazenly treat Mr. Walsh as though he were already your betrothed.”
Her crying increased to full-scale sobs, interspersed with little hiccups. My mind roiled. What should I do? We walked on for some moments in silence, me a little ahead of Kitty, who continued her weeping. “Please, Mary,” she said as we reached the turning onto the avenue. “It may be my last chance to get a husband.” Her voice was a pitiful rasp.
While I didn’t believe that, I could not be so coldhearted as to ignore her pain. Did she truly care for Henry Walsh? I decided to ask her what I’d been wondering about all along. Something Papa had questioned in that conversation I’d overheard between him and my mother. “Can you describe to me, Kitty, the nature of your feelings for Mr. Walsh? What do you admire in him?” I stood watching her, my arms folded in front of my chest.
She was still whimpering when she said, “Whatever do you mean?”
“It is not so difficult a question, is it? What makes you want to marry him?”
“You’re being mean, Mary!”
“Indulge me. I’m trying to understand your feelings so I can decide what to do about my own.”
She glared at me with reddened eyes. “He is quite handsome.” A little smile curved her mouth. “While not as wealthy as Charles or Mr. Darcy, he’s comfortably well-off, and his home is lovely. He would make any girl a good
Kitty didn’t speak at first, although I noticed her gaze fixed on me when she thought I wasn’t paying attention. Then, in a hurried outburst, she said, “I know I have been less than kind to you on occasion, Mary. I am sincerely sorry if I have caused you pain.”
I didn’t believe for a minute she had asked to walk with me to apologize for all the years she’d treated me so ill. When she resumed her speech, the nature of the apology soon became clear.
“Mr. Walsh is courting me, not you. It’s me he admires.”
I looked down, exhaling an impatient breath. “If that is the case, you can have nothing to worry about.”
“If you left High Tor, it would show him you have no regard for him.”
I’d spent half the night agonizing over whether to flee from Henry or to encourage his suit. To embrace the chance for personal happiness or simply leave it to Kitty to find hers. I’d been leaning toward the latter course of action, because vying with my sister for the same man left a bad taste in my mouth. Not to mention my own worries about my suitability as a wife and the wishes of my parents. But now that Kitty was demanding it, resistance rose in my chest until I felt it would burn a hole through my dress.
“But I do have regard for him, and, in any case, I cannot make him like you if he does not.”
Her face flooded with color. “But he does!” Indignantly, she said, “Speaking plainly, Mary, gentlemen do not care for girls who read and study and are as serious as you. He may admire you now, but it won’t last. Those qualities are not what men want in a wife.”
How dare she? “What you say may be true of many, perhaps even most men, but it is not a fair description of Henry Walsh.”
“Only think, Mary. Where are your looks? Your fashion?”
My temper yearned to break free, but I managed to keep it in check. “In one breath you apologize to me for treating me unkindly, and in the next you deliberately insult me. I’m not inclined to agree to your demands in the circumstances.”
I increased my pace so Kitty would have to hurry to keep up, but suddenly she stopped, so abruptly I had to turn back to hear what she was saying. “I have tried to be a better girl, so as not to end up like Lydia.” Tears welled up in her eyes and trickled down her face. “I have changed. I’m not so silly as I used to be. I’ve learned something about how to be in company from Jane and Lizzy.”
“You seem unwilling to show off your newly acquired manners here. You flirt with John Ashton, spend your time in foolish pursuits, and brazenly treat Mr. Walsh as though he were already your betrothed.”
Her crying increased to full-scale sobs, interspersed with little hiccups. My mind roiled. What should I do? We walked on for some moments in silence, me a little ahead of Kitty, who continued her weeping. “Please, Mary,” she said as we reached the turning onto the avenue. “It may be my last chance to get a husband.” Her voice was a pitiful rasp.
While I didn’t believe that, I could not be so coldhearted as to ignore her pain. Did she truly care for Henry Walsh? I decided to ask her what I’d been wondering about all along. Something Papa had questioned in that conversation I’d overheard between him and my mother. “Can you describe to me, Kitty, the nature of your feelings for Mr. Walsh? What do you admire in him?” I stood watching her, my arms folded in front of my chest.
She was still whimpering when she said, “Whatever do you mean?”
“It is not so difficult a question, is it? What makes you want to marry him?”
“You’re being mean, Mary!”
“Indulge me. I’m trying to understand your feelings so I can decide what to do about my own.”
She glared at me with reddened eyes. “He is quite handsome.” A little smile curved her mouth. “While not as wealthy as Charles or Mr. Darcy, he’s comfortably well-off, and his home is lovely. He would make any girl a good
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