woman
gets to have
a lost summer,” my mother said. “I’m just saying that every woman
needs
one—
deserves
one—what with all of the shit we have to put up with from men!” She was momentarily flustered. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard her curse. “Plus, this isn’t just any house. It’s like going on a pilgrimage to Our Lady of Lourdes, blind, and then gaining your sight back, but onlyfor us, the women in this family, and only having to do with matters of the heart.”
“Like Our Lady of Lourdes? Really?” I said. My mother was never devout, but still sometimes her Catholic upbringing would surface, as if to offset some of her other traits—her frankness about sexuality, her desire to be rich, and her indulgent behavior with chocolate and good wine.
“Yes. Lourdes.”
My sister put her elbows on the table and said, flatly, “Eight years, Heidi. Daniel and I have been together
eight years
. He was never going to get married again. Ever. But then I took him to the house in Provence, and he opened up. I can’t explain it, but that’s what happened! He proposed to me. Just like that.”
“Not to mention your grandmother,” my mother said. “That is the house where my own parents fell in love.” She was invoking the old love stories now. I took this as a sign of desperation.
I shook my head. “Who can afford to have a lost summer?” I said. “I can’t. It’s that simple.”
“You can,” my mother said. “You know Jude will take care of the store. She’s already taken charge of most everything. And I have an account for the house. I’ve never tapped it. It would be an investment in the house. Someone needs to go and help oversee that it’s properly restored.”
“And,” Elysius said, lowering her voice. “This trip could really help me.…” She glanced at my mother for approval.
“Go on,” my mother said. “Tell her.”
“It’s about Charlotte,” Elysius said. “When Mom came to me with her idea, I knew you’d never go without Abbot, never, and I thought about how hard it would be to travel alone with an eight-year-old. And then I thought of Charlotte, and how it might be … mutually beneficial.”
My mother summarized, “Since you’ve decided to take Abbot with you, you might want to also bring Charlotte.”
“I have not decided to bring Abbot with me or to go at all,” I said.
“Charlotte is at that age when she needs to expand her horizons. She needs to learn that there’s more to life …” My mother didn’t finish the sentence but now I knew that this was a reference to Charlotte’s needing to learn that there was more to life than her boyfriend, Adam Briskowitz. “And it would get her out of Elysius’s hair. Let both of them breathe.”
“Charlotte can help you with Abbot,” Elysius said. “You know, so you can get out and live a little.” This was another way of saying that I needed to move on. “Plus she’ll boost her French, maybe skip on to French III, and she’ll have time to study for her SATs without distraction.” Here, again, the unnamed distraction was Adam Briskowitz.
“You need the house,” my mother said. “You don’t believe it, but you will.”
I remembered the three of us lost in the swarm of beautiful Bath whites. I didn’t want to be enchanted. I shook myhead. “It’s a nice house. That’s all. Let’s not get carried away,” I said. “I went to that house as a kid and I wasn’t magically transformed.”
“You weren’t heartbroken yet,” Elysius said. “That’s the difference.”
I looked out the window to the pool.
And now I am
, I thought.
And now I am heartbroken
. My father was picking through a large bin of water toys. Abbot’s snorkeling gear was sitting on the cement. He was in the pool without it, a colorful shadow in the deep end. I watched for him to push himself off the bottom, bob to the surface, and shake his hair. But several moments passed. Was he drowning? I jumped up from
gets to have
a lost summer,” my mother said. “I’m just saying that every woman
needs
one—
deserves
one—what with all of the shit we have to put up with from men!” She was momentarily flustered. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard her curse. “Plus, this isn’t just any house. It’s like going on a pilgrimage to Our Lady of Lourdes, blind, and then gaining your sight back, but onlyfor us, the women in this family, and only having to do with matters of the heart.”
“Like Our Lady of Lourdes? Really?” I said. My mother was never devout, but still sometimes her Catholic upbringing would surface, as if to offset some of her other traits—her frankness about sexuality, her desire to be rich, and her indulgent behavior with chocolate and good wine.
“Yes. Lourdes.”
My sister put her elbows on the table and said, flatly, “Eight years, Heidi. Daniel and I have been together
eight years
. He was never going to get married again. Ever. But then I took him to the house in Provence, and he opened up. I can’t explain it, but that’s what happened! He proposed to me. Just like that.”
“Not to mention your grandmother,” my mother said. “That is the house where my own parents fell in love.” She was invoking the old love stories now. I took this as a sign of desperation.
I shook my head. “Who can afford to have a lost summer?” I said. “I can’t. It’s that simple.”
“You can,” my mother said. “You know Jude will take care of the store. She’s already taken charge of most everything. And I have an account for the house. I’ve never tapped it. It would be an investment in the house. Someone needs to go and help oversee that it’s properly restored.”
“And,” Elysius said, lowering her voice. “This trip could really help me.…” She glanced at my mother for approval.
“Go on,” my mother said. “Tell her.”
“It’s about Charlotte,” Elysius said. “When Mom came to me with her idea, I knew you’d never go without Abbot, never, and I thought about how hard it would be to travel alone with an eight-year-old. And then I thought of Charlotte, and how it might be … mutually beneficial.”
My mother summarized, “Since you’ve decided to take Abbot with you, you might want to also bring Charlotte.”
“I have not decided to bring Abbot with me or to go at all,” I said.
“Charlotte is at that age when she needs to expand her horizons. She needs to learn that there’s more to life …” My mother didn’t finish the sentence but now I knew that this was a reference to Charlotte’s needing to learn that there was more to life than her boyfriend, Adam Briskowitz. “And it would get her out of Elysius’s hair. Let both of them breathe.”
“Charlotte can help you with Abbot,” Elysius said. “You know, so you can get out and live a little.” This was another way of saying that I needed to move on. “Plus she’ll boost her French, maybe skip on to French III, and she’ll have time to study for her SATs without distraction.” Here, again, the unnamed distraction was Adam Briskowitz.
“You need the house,” my mother said. “You don’t believe it, but you will.”
I remembered the three of us lost in the swarm of beautiful Bath whites. I didn’t want to be enchanted. I shook myhead. “It’s a nice house. That’s all. Let’s not get carried away,” I said. “I went to that house as a kid and I wasn’t magically transformed.”
“You weren’t heartbroken yet,” Elysius said. “That’s the difference.”
I looked out the window to the pool.
And now I am
, I thought.
And now I am heartbroken
. My father was picking through a large bin of water toys. Abbot’s snorkeling gear was sitting on the cement. He was in the pool without it, a colorful shadow in the deep end. I watched for him to push himself off the bottom, bob to the surface, and shake his hair. But several moments passed. Was he drowning? I jumped up from
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