IQ
1. When you think of the phrase “Remember who you are,” what comes to your mind? The challenge I want to issue you today is not to define yourself in terms of your past. As you think about who you are, the pain of the past is off-limits. So, who are you?
2. When you think about who you really are, the person God has created and ordained you to be, what kind of potential do you have in life, in your career, and in relationships? If you were to fully express who God designed you to be, what would that look like?
3. Have you ever walked away from a potentially good relationship because of something you experienced in the past? How can you keep from doing that again?
4. Who are your “adventurers,” the people God has given to you to provide what you’ve longed for and found lacking in previous relationships?
5. Only you and God know the specific pains of your past, and God wants to heal them. What steps do you need to take to begin your journey into healing? I encourage you to pray about this and seek wise counsel from a trusted friend, minister, or professional. Get a plan for healing and wholeness and stick with it. Stay on the lookout for God to intervene and to lead you in sovereign ways into good places as you trust Him.
5
You Can’t Be Friends with Everyone
T HE L AW OF S ELECTIVITY
THINK ABOUT THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A nice dinner at a new restaurant. Did you order every single item on the menu? Of course not! If you are like most people, you read the menu, found a few dishes you knew you would like, and then chose only one entrée, maybe a salad or an appetizer, a beverage, and perhaps dessert. But you did not ask for one of everything. Eating that much food would have made you sick!
Probably without realizing it, you were practicing the law of selectivity when you made your menu choices. You looked at your options and eliminated some of them immediately because they had ingredients you did not like or could not eat. You narrowed down your choices to just a few things, and when the server came to take your order, you ultimately made a final decision. All kinds of factors may have influenced your choice. Maybe you simply ordered what sounded best; maybe you made a selection that wouldbe low fat or low carb or low sodium because you knew those would be best for your health. Maybe you ordered chicken or beef because you are allergic to seafood; or maybe your friend wanted to share the meal with you so you ordered something he or she would like.
As you can see, people use all kinds of criteria when choosing what to eat at a restaurant. Whatever they order has to pass some kind of qualifying test (such as flavor or health benefit) before being selected. Because people put their choices to a test, they often end up with a meal they enjoy.
The same basic process involved in choosing something good to eat is the foundation of the law of selectivity in relationships. But while everyone expects to sit down in a restaurant and be choosy, most people do not always think to be selective when developing relationships with others. We have been taught to “be nice to everyone,” and though that is important, it does not mean we should build close relationships with everyone. In fact, the opposite is true. To use an elementary comparison, we need to view the people in our lives almost as we view items on a menu: as options. Then we need to get to know them to see whether they will be enjoyable and good for us. When we determine that certain people will add value to our lives, then we can choose to enter into relationships with them.
L ESS C AN B E M ORE
For years, it seems our culture has been focused on “more.” Anytime we view something as good, we tend to want more of it, expecting that “more” will be better. That is not always the case. Sometimes, as the saying goes, “less is more.” Or to say it another way, quantity does not equal quality.
“Less is more” definitely applies to having quality
1. When you think of the phrase “Remember who you are,” what comes to your mind? The challenge I want to issue you today is not to define yourself in terms of your past. As you think about who you are, the pain of the past is off-limits. So, who are you?
2. When you think about who you really are, the person God has created and ordained you to be, what kind of potential do you have in life, in your career, and in relationships? If you were to fully express who God designed you to be, what would that look like?
3. Have you ever walked away from a potentially good relationship because of something you experienced in the past? How can you keep from doing that again?
4. Who are your “adventurers,” the people God has given to you to provide what you’ve longed for and found lacking in previous relationships?
5. Only you and God know the specific pains of your past, and God wants to heal them. What steps do you need to take to begin your journey into healing? I encourage you to pray about this and seek wise counsel from a trusted friend, minister, or professional. Get a plan for healing and wholeness and stick with it. Stay on the lookout for God to intervene and to lead you in sovereign ways into good places as you trust Him.
5
You Can’t Be Friends with Everyone
T HE L AW OF S ELECTIVITY
THINK ABOUT THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A nice dinner at a new restaurant. Did you order every single item on the menu? Of course not! If you are like most people, you read the menu, found a few dishes you knew you would like, and then chose only one entrée, maybe a salad or an appetizer, a beverage, and perhaps dessert. But you did not ask for one of everything. Eating that much food would have made you sick!
Probably without realizing it, you were practicing the law of selectivity when you made your menu choices. You looked at your options and eliminated some of them immediately because they had ingredients you did not like or could not eat. You narrowed down your choices to just a few things, and when the server came to take your order, you ultimately made a final decision. All kinds of factors may have influenced your choice. Maybe you simply ordered what sounded best; maybe you made a selection that wouldbe low fat or low carb or low sodium because you knew those would be best for your health. Maybe you ordered chicken or beef because you are allergic to seafood; or maybe your friend wanted to share the meal with you so you ordered something he or she would like.
As you can see, people use all kinds of criteria when choosing what to eat at a restaurant. Whatever they order has to pass some kind of qualifying test (such as flavor or health benefit) before being selected. Because people put their choices to a test, they often end up with a meal they enjoy.
The same basic process involved in choosing something good to eat is the foundation of the law of selectivity in relationships. But while everyone expects to sit down in a restaurant and be choosy, most people do not always think to be selective when developing relationships with others. We have been taught to “be nice to everyone,” and though that is important, it does not mean we should build close relationships with everyone. In fact, the opposite is true. To use an elementary comparison, we need to view the people in our lives almost as we view items on a menu: as options. Then we need to get to know them to see whether they will be enjoyable and good for us. When we determine that certain people will add value to our lives, then we can choose to enter into relationships with them.
L ESS C AN B E M ORE
For years, it seems our culture has been focused on “more.” Anytime we view something as good, we tend to want more of it, expecting that “more” will be better. That is not always the case. Sometimes, as the saying goes, “less is more.” Or to say it another way, quantity does not equal quality.
“Less is more” definitely applies to having quality
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