juts, pressing into my thigh. This is not the reaction of a friend and he does not seem drunk. I feel dizzy with arousal, confusion and am trying to just enjoy the moment, but there are so many unanswered questions. Oh God, he is doing things to me that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling.“Take this off,” he demands almost desperately. “I need to feel skin on skin.”I remove my nightie and toss it to the floor at his command and hear his hiss of approval. Our mouths meet, teeth clashing, tongues duelling, his hands cradling my face before relinquishing his grip and dropping a roughened palm to cup my heavy aching breast. My low moan of acceptance makes him growl.
“Beautiful. Sexy. Tonight you’re mine.”
His words roll over me, like teasing fingertips and I feel myself grow wetter. He moves lower and trails soft kisses down my torso and onto the top of my pelvis, lightly licking my hipbone. Don’t leave. Stay up this end. Please.
I flinch almost immediately as he nears my c-section scar.
Oh shit.
Automatically, Seb senses my tension and looks up at me. “Too much Baby?”
I nod mutely and he comes back to kiss me intensely, deeply. I can feel myself hot and wet and ready for him and my sensitive nub aches for some hard attention. It really has been too long!
I am just about to trace my hand down the front of his Calvin’s, when he unexpectedly pulls away.
“I wonder if we are taking this too soon?” he whispers into my neck, whilst stroking my face with his knuckle in a repetitive motion.
What? No. Don’t stop!
All of a sudden the room is completely silent, deafeningly so. It’s like a cold slap, to an already highly tempestuous situation. Like the spindle on a record player has been crudely scraped across a vinyl. I instantly recoil, the defense shutters come down with an alarming ferocity and I move away from underneath him. The only sounds are our laboured panting.Sebastian tries to stop me retracting but I continue to push against him. I feel claustrophobic, panicky and yes… fucking stupid. Suddenly I need some serious space. Does he regret it?
Maybe he saw my scars and decided he no longer found me attractive?
Maybe he was actually just pissed and was sobering up to this being a bad idea?
I can feel my throat getting raw and suffocatingly tight with emotion; I sense that given half a chance, I could breakdown and sob uncontrollably and I’m not a pretty crier. I feel totally humiliated and need to be alone, yet every part of my freshly awakened body is crying out to be satisfied. Maybe I should just pounce on him? But then he may not respond, which would be another devastating blow to my confidence. He has just ruined a truly special moment by being a gentleman or I have with my sensitive body issues? I don’t know what just happened but… fuck! I gaze across at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It glows 4am. I’ve got to get up in a few hours to collect Finn from Mum and Dad’s. Rolling over, I take a deep shaky breath, followed by a gulp to stop the impending tears and quietly say, “I think maybe you’re right.”And for the second time that night I repeat, “Let’s try to get some sleep.”I roll onto my side, pulling the duvet like a cling film vacuum around my body. I can’t bear to have him near me; I’d explode. This way he can’t see my desolation and the fat teardrop that rolls down my cheek and plops onto my arm.
He is silent.
We lie in bed, back to back.
The air is thick with emotions, unsaid feelings and unfinished business.
I get no sleep, as I procrastinate over the last few hours’ events and chastise myself over and over again, for potentially ruining the best friendship I’ve ever had with a man, with my bloody horniness!
I quietly turn to sneak a glance at him, whilst he sleeps, careful not to disturb anything that might wake him. I sigh. I’m dreading seeing him this morning.
Oh my God! How did things
“Beautiful. Sexy. Tonight you’re mine.”
His words roll over me, like teasing fingertips and I feel myself grow wetter. He moves lower and trails soft kisses down my torso and onto the top of my pelvis, lightly licking my hipbone. Don’t leave. Stay up this end. Please.
I flinch almost immediately as he nears my c-section scar.
Oh shit.
Automatically, Seb senses my tension and looks up at me. “Too much Baby?”
I nod mutely and he comes back to kiss me intensely, deeply. I can feel myself hot and wet and ready for him and my sensitive nub aches for some hard attention. It really has been too long!
I am just about to trace my hand down the front of his Calvin’s, when he unexpectedly pulls away.
“I wonder if we are taking this too soon?” he whispers into my neck, whilst stroking my face with his knuckle in a repetitive motion.
What? No. Don’t stop!
All of a sudden the room is completely silent, deafeningly so. It’s like a cold slap, to an already highly tempestuous situation. Like the spindle on a record player has been crudely scraped across a vinyl. I instantly recoil, the defense shutters come down with an alarming ferocity and I move away from underneath him. The only sounds are our laboured panting.Sebastian tries to stop me retracting but I continue to push against him. I feel claustrophobic, panicky and yes… fucking stupid. Suddenly I need some serious space. Does he regret it?
Maybe he saw my scars and decided he no longer found me attractive?
Maybe he was actually just pissed and was sobering up to this being a bad idea?
I can feel my throat getting raw and suffocatingly tight with emotion; I sense that given half a chance, I could breakdown and sob uncontrollably and I’m not a pretty crier. I feel totally humiliated and need to be alone, yet every part of my freshly awakened body is crying out to be satisfied. Maybe I should just pounce on him? But then he may not respond, which would be another devastating blow to my confidence. He has just ruined a truly special moment by being a gentleman or I have with my sensitive body issues? I don’t know what just happened but… fuck! I gaze across at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It glows 4am. I’ve got to get up in a few hours to collect Finn from Mum and Dad’s. Rolling over, I take a deep shaky breath, followed by a gulp to stop the impending tears and quietly say, “I think maybe you’re right.”And for the second time that night I repeat, “Let’s try to get some sleep.”I roll onto my side, pulling the duvet like a cling film vacuum around my body. I can’t bear to have him near me; I’d explode. This way he can’t see my desolation and the fat teardrop that rolls down my cheek and plops onto my arm.
He is silent.
We lie in bed, back to back.
The air is thick with emotions, unsaid feelings and unfinished business.
I get no sleep, as I procrastinate over the last few hours’ events and chastise myself over and over again, for potentially ruining the best friendship I’ve ever had with a man, with my bloody horniness!
I quietly turn to sneak a glance at him, whilst he sleeps, careful not to disturb anything that might wake him. I sigh. I’m dreading seeing him this morning.
Oh my God! How did things
Similar Books
