her on the Sunday and she’d said yes.
Yes
! They were getting married. Shocks don’t come any bigger. Life’s rich tapestry, eh?’
7
C ullis was almost hyperventilating; he was so eager to return upstairs to push on with his pleasures, which had been put on hold. Nevertheless, there were a few more questions that had to be asked, much to his tumescent frustration.
‘Did it happen; did they get hitched?’
‘Damn right they did – Marylebone Register Office.’
‘There’s something missing in all this,’ I said, puzzled.
‘There’s something missing for me, too, and it’s waiting on ice upstairs,’ he protested, his eyes throwing flares.
‘Just a few more questions and I’ll be gone into the ether,’ I promised, struggling to keep this alight, like a candle in the rain. ‘Am I supposed to believe that Tina was bowled over in a couple of nights by this Russian?’
‘As Tina Turner sang so often, what’s love got to do with it?’ A ghost of a grin told me that I was expected to acknowledge his smart repartee. I obliged, mimicking a laugh. ‘Must have a drink,’ he said, shuffling with constipated inertness to a cabinet, where he poured himself a whisky. Declining to offer me one was an elaborate gesture; it wasn’t just a matter of deliberate inhospitality, he was anxious not to extend my stay so that he could surrender to the reverse pull of gravity, upwards, without too much further delay.
‘So it was a marriage of convenience?’
‘Very
convenient
.’
‘For whom?’
‘Both.’
‘Spell it out for me, Mr Cullis, then I
really will
be on my way.’ This clumsy dance of diplomacy was becoming increasingly hard to sustain.
‘The Russki wanted to defect.’
That didn’t surprise me; those were the Cold War days. ‘But he didn’t need to get married for that, surely,’ I said.
‘Oh, but he did.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he wasn’t privy to any great state secrets of Soviet plans. Nor was he a scientist or military specialist. He had no info about his country’s nuclear programme or military intentions to trade with.’
‘He’d have known something about the Soviet’s spy network in this country; after all, he was one of them.’
‘Worthless info. From what I gathered, our MI5 already knew the identities of most of the spies over here.’
‘But perhaps not the double agents,’ I said.
‘I don’t know about that,’ he said, pecky as a parrot now. ‘But this fella was too far down the ladder to be trusted with really sensitive stuff, I should imagine. The truth was, he’d acquired a taste for our liberal nightlife. Get me?’
‘So what was the deal?’
‘Tina banked twenty grand.’
‘And how much did you pocket?’
‘What makes you so sure I got anything?’
‘Because you don’t strike me as the kind of businessman who’d trade just for sweet fanny.’
‘I didn’t know nothin’ about the plan and the offer until the Monday.’
‘But you did give away the
blushing
bride.’
‘Fuck you, yes! So what? It was a privilege.’
This was too much, but I didn’t want to sever the pipeline, so I chilled.
‘Do you remember the groom’s name?’
‘Not a chance,’ he said, petulantly.
‘Yet you can recall everything else, including the trivia.’
‘We’re still talking thirty years ago. Jesus!’
‘So, too, was the trivia, yet that’s stuck.’
After a sulk, he said, ‘His name was typically Russki. Got me tongue-tied at the time. I couldn’t pronounce it then, so no surprise it went out of my head yonks ago.’
‘Did you keep in touch with Tina?’
‘Hardly.’
‘I take that as a
yes
, right?’
‘She called a couple of times, that’s all.’
‘Did they set up home together?’
‘Not really. Apparently, he rented a place. I believe their names appeared on the electoral roll, just for appearances. But they never lived there together. Certainly not after the first couple of nights.’
‘So the
Yes
! They were getting married. Shocks don’t come any bigger. Life’s rich tapestry, eh?’
7
C ullis was almost hyperventilating; he was so eager to return upstairs to push on with his pleasures, which had been put on hold. Nevertheless, there were a few more questions that had to be asked, much to his tumescent frustration.
‘Did it happen; did they get hitched?’
‘Damn right they did – Marylebone Register Office.’
‘There’s something missing in all this,’ I said, puzzled.
‘There’s something missing for me, too, and it’s waiting on ice upstairs,’ he protested, his eyes throwing flares.
‘Just a few more questions and I’ll be gone into the ether,’ I promised, struggling to keep this alight, like a candle in the rain. ‘Am I supposed to believe that Tina was bowled over in a couple of nights by this Russian?’
‘As Tina Turner sang so often, what’s love got to do with it?’ A ghost of a grin told me that I was expected to acknowledge his smart repartee. I obliged, mimicking a laugh. ‘Must have a drink,’ he said, shuffling with constipated inertness to a cabinet, where he poured himself a whisky. Declining to offer me one was an elaborate gesture; it wasn’t just a matter of deliberate inhospitality, he was anxious not to extend my stay so that he could surrender to the reverse pull of gravity, upwards, without too much further delay.
‘So it was a marriage of convenience?’
‘Very
convenient
.’
‘For whom?’
‘Both.’
‘Spell it out for me, Mr Cullis, then I
really will
be on my way.’ This clumsy dance of diplomacy was becoming increasingly hard to sustain.
‘The Russki wanted to defect.’
That didn’t surprise me; those were the Cold War days. ‘But he didn’t need to get married for that, surely,’ I said.
‘Oh, but he did.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he wasn’t privy to any great state secrets of Soviet plans. Nor was he a scientist or military specialist. He had no info about his country’s nuclear programme or military intentions to trade with.’
‘He’d have known something about the Soviet’s spy network in this country; after all, he was one of them.’
‘Worthless info. From what I gathered, our MI5 already knew the identities of most of the spies over here.’
‘But perhaps not the double agents,’ I said.
‘I don’t know about that,’ he said, pecky as a parrot now. ‘But this fella was too far down the ladder to be trusted with really sensitive stuff, I should imagine. The truth was, he’d acquired a taste for our liberal nightlife. Get me?’
‘So what was the deal?’
‘Tina banked twenty grand.’
‘And how much did you pocket?’
‘What makes you so sure I got anything?’
‘Because you don’t strike me as the kind of businessman who’d trade just for sweet fanny.’
‘I didn’t know nothin’ about the plan and the offer until the Monday.’
‘But you did give away the
blushing
bride.’
‘Fuck you, yes! So what? It was a privilege.’
This was too much, but I didn’t want to sever the pipeline, so I chilled.
‘Do you remember the groom’s name?’
‘Not a chance,’ he said, petulantly.
‘Yet you can recall everything else, including the trivia.’
‘We’re still talking thirty years ago. Jesus!’
‘So, too, was the trivia, yet that’s stuck.’
After a sulk, he said, ‘His name was typically Russki. Got me tongue-tied at the time. I couldn’t pronounce it then, so no surprise it went out of my head yonks ago.’
‘Did you keep in touch with Tina?’
‘Hardly.’
‘I take that as a
yes
, right?’
‘She called a couple of times, that’s all.’
‘Did they set up home together?’
‘Not really. Apparently, he rented a place. I believe their names appeared on the electoral roll, just for appearances. But they never lived there together. Certainly not after the first couple of nights.’
‘So the
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