that guy Angelo I am in love with is here too—run! As Buja came closer, everyone stared deeply into my skull. And then she let it fly: “Ma sei VERDE!!!! ” Translation: “You’re GREEN!” And that’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks: The change I had seen in my tiny bathroom, which by the way had no window or natural light but only a little lightbulb in the upper far corner, was not one of a darker color. Instead, the light hinted towards a different color . . . MOSS GREEN! And now the sun, which I always thought was one of my hair’s biggest allies, was an added spotlight to this horrible mistake! I was mortified. I spent the next hour defending my hair color and whether I was truly a natural bionda to my friends. Needless to say, I quickly made an afternoon appointment with Fabio (yes, the local VIP hairdresser was Fabio) and proceeded to enjoy a very toxic and enlightening dye job, returning my locks to a normal RGB value of blonde.
When did you first go blonde?
I was born blonde, but I’ve been doing highlights since my early twenties to give my tresses a bit more glow.
Do you have a colorist in your life, or do you color at home?
I have a new colorist, Marcus, who only uses 100 percent certified organic hair color and products. I’ve come a long way from the chamomile hippie flowers.
Do you love life as a blonde?
Yes, 100 percent. I’ve had brief snippets where I thought of going dark brown à la Liv Tyler, but I just can’t do it! I’m a blondie, tried and true.
Kendra C. (platinum blonde, fellow Masshole comedienne)
What’s your worst hair disaster?
My worst hair experience was in the tenth grade. I was just starting to branch out from Sun-In (peroxide in a plant spray bottle) and start experimenting with L’Oréal Preference home coloring products, and I couldn’t find a box with a picture of the exact shade of blonde I wanted so I decided to mix a few together to get a unique and unusual shade of blonde. It was a failed experiment that resulted in my mother stripping all the color from my hair and sending me off to my all-girls Catholic school the next morning with a head full of colorless hair.
When did you first go blonde?
I started coloring my hair with Sun-In during the summer before the eighth grade. My hair has a lot of red in it naturally, so most of July I was a brassy mess, but by August my hair was such a bright yellow, nobody even noticed my braces anymore!
Do you have a colorist in your life, or do you color at home?
I have a strong relationship with my colorist now. We’ve been together for over five years. I know her husband. I’ve moved from salon to salon with her. We’ve smoked pot together. It’s pretty serious.
Do you love life as a blonde?
I love life as a blonde, but I must admit I have always wanted to be ethnic. Olive skin, black hair, body confidence. C’mon, sounds so stress-free.
Jackie H. (bold, brilliant bright-blonde businesswoman)
What’s your worst hair disaster?
I can immediately recall. I was twenty-five and had just moved to NYC and was busily taking the city for all it was worth. This meant I was spending all disposable income eating and drinking and taking taxis everywhere. I had let my roots grow out to the point where I really couldn’t get away with it anymore but also couldn’t afford one of the more upscale salons that I was used to. I decided I would go to this random place in midtown, and since I couldn’t spring for highlights, I would just do a one-process bleaching of sorts to get rid of the roots. Big mistake. Huge. I emerged looking like the long-lost fourth child from The Simpsons. When I went to work the next day, it was clear from the response of my coworkers that something had to be done ASAP. You would think I’d learned my lesson. Nope. Again looking for the cheap way out, I headed to CVS to fix the problem on my own. I picked a darker shade of boxed blonde, thinking it would lessen the Simpson-esque hue I was now
When did you first go blonde?
I was born blonde, but I’ve been doing highlights since my early twenties to give my tresses a bit more glow.
Do you have a colorist in your life, or do you color at home?
I have a new colorist, Marcus, who only uses 100 percent certified organic hair color and products. I’ve come a long way from the chamomile hippie flowers.
Do you love life as a blonde?
Yes, 100 percent. I’ve had brief snippets where I thought of going dark brown à la Liv Tyler, but I just can’t do it! I’m a blondie, tried and true.
Kendra C. (platinum blonde, fellow Masshole comedienne)
What’s your worst hair disaster?
My worst hair experience was in the tenth grade. I was just starting to branch out from Sun-In (peroxide in a plant spray bottle) and start experimenting with L’Oréal Preference home coloring products, and I couldn’t find a box with a picture of the exact shade of blonde I wanted so I decided to mix a few together to get a unique and unusual shade of blonde. It was a failed experiment that resulted in my mother stripping all the color from my hair and sending me off to my all-girls Catholic school the next morning with a head full of colorless hair.
When did you first go blonde?
I started coloring my hair with Sun-In during the summer before the eighth grade. My hair has a lot of red in it naturally, so most of July I was a brassy mess, but by August my hair was such a bright yellow, nobody even noticed my braces anymore!
Do you have a colorist in your life, or do you color at home?
I have a strong relationship with my colorist now. We’ve been together for over five years. I know her husband. I’ve moved from salon to salon with her. We’ve smoked pot together. It’s pretty serious.
Do you love life as a blonde?
I love life as a blonde, but I must admit I have always wanted to be ethnic. Olive skin, black hair, body confidence. C’mon, sounds so stress-free.
Jackie H. (bold, brilliant bright-blonde businesswoman)
What’s your worst hair disaster?
I can immediately recall. I was twenty-five and had just moved to NYC and was busily taking the city for all it was worth. This meant I was spending all disposable income eating and drinking and taking taxis everywhere. I had let my roots grow out to the point where I really couldn’t get away with it anymore but also couldn’t afford one of the more upscale salons that I was used to. I decided I would go to this random place in midtown, and since I couldn’t spring for highlights, I would just do a one-process bleaching of sorts to get rid of the roots. Big mistake. Huge. I emerged looking like the long-lost fourth child from The Simpsons. When I went to work the next day, it was clear from the response of my coworkers that something had to be done ASAP. You would think I’d learned my lesson. Nope. Again looking for the cheap way out, I headed to CVS to fix the problem on my own. I picked a darker shade of boxed blonde, thinking it would lessen the Simpson-esque hue I was now
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