The Mystery of the Mystery Meat

The Mystery of the Mystery Meat by Chris P. Flesh

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Authors: Chris P. Flesh
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corgi shape, he barked as he looked left, right, and over his shoulder, ensuring that no one was watching him. Then he galloped into the shadows, transformed himself into a giant fire hose loaded with water, and aimed it at the building. The stream of water hissed and sizzled as it began to put out the flames. Scary divided himself into another hose and another until he looked more like a crazed many-headed serpent instead of a timid shape-shifting phantom.
    “Good! Good!” Pretty screamed, clapping.
    Scary could see that the fire around the door was goingout, so he glided along the courtyard to the left, spraying as he went. Pretty trailed after him, urging him on. But to his consternation, the fire was rising from the bottom floor to the upper levels, and he split himself into more hoses.
    He was just about to turn into a rain cloud when he spotted Lilly, her three cheerleader friends, and Freekin through a second-story window. Lilly and the girls were doubled over, coughing; Freekin had just picked up a metal desk chair over his head and was rushing toward the window with it.
    “Woodiwoodi!”
Scary cried, and, without thinking, he immediately morphed into a tall fire ladder. Shooting from the ground to the windowsill, he used the tips of his wings to latch himself onto the outside of the window just as Freekin shattered the glass.
    “Us saving you!” Pretty shouted, throwing open her arms. She started up the ladder, then zoomed back down, muttering to herself that she didn’t want to get in the way of the human beings or else they might become
refried
beings. Up, down. She skittered in a circle, fangs clacking with anxiety.
    “Hurry, Lilly!” Freekin shouted, helping her climb down the Scary-ladder.
    “No, the others should go first,” Lilly insisted. But she looked terrible, all sweaty and coughing and sick. She was very pink, limp, and floppy like smoked turkey breast. It was obvious to Pretty that Yucky Lilly needed to get some fresh air into her lungs right this minute. Her three girlfriends weren’t as bad off as she was.

    “Come on, Yucky Lilly!” Pretty shouted from below. She clapped. “Here, girl, here, Lilly!”
    Lilly could no longer put up much of a fight as Freekin helped her onto Scary’s top rungs.
    “Scary, Geronimooo!” Pretty commanded, grabbing onto the bottom of the “ladder” and pulling on it, and Scary slowly folded himself down, lowering a protesting Lilly into Pretty’s outstretched arms. Lilly’s legs dragged along the ground like the slime trails of snails as Pretty trundled her away to safety, staring down at her rival and thinking that Lilly was awfully brave. Pretty didn’t want to say that she admired her…
    …she really, really didn’t want to say that,
    …but she did.
    “You so admire-y,” she told Lilly.
    “Take…care…of Freekin,” Lilly murmured up at her.
    Then Lilly fainted dead away.
    This is Belle. Are you saying that she DIED?
    This is Elvis. No way! She didn’t die, did she?
    Dear Belle and Elvis, you must wait and see.

Chapter Ten:
In Which Pretty Spills the Beans!

    The fire was still raging, but Pretty figured Scary should stay and help Freekin and the cheerleaders instead of turning back into a fire hose.
    “Go uppy,” she told him.
    “Gazeekee zibu,”
Scary-ladder replied, extending back toward the window as Deirdre appeared with Freekin at the broken window, poised for her rescue.
    “Okeydoke, Scary, you stay and help cheerleader girls,” Pretty said, her attention on Scary as she caught sight of a firefighter wearing a mask walking toward her. “Here, Mr. Fireman,” she said, holding out the unconscious Lilly. “Fix Lilly, okeydoke?”
    The man bent down, took Lilly, and straightened. Lilly’s cute little blue purse fell off her shoulder and landed on the ground. Pretty had retrieved it, preparing to give it to him, when he reached up a gloved hand to his face and lowered his mask.
    “Thank you, Miss Pretty,” he said in a

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