The Mormon and the Dom by Nix Knox Page B

but…”
    “Eventually it won’t give me any more insights?” Noah guessed.
    “Right. Also, each time you play in that room, you’ll be in a different mood. The first time you were filled with apprehension because you don’t know exactly what will happen. You have the safeword, and that’s your gleaming sword in the darkness. When you start to really trust in your ability to wield it, you’ll want to go further.”
    “I though you said you’d push me?” Noah wondered if perhaps Ronan hadn’t pushed him because he perceived Noah as too weak to push too hard.
    “I did. But I only pushed you the direction you wanted to go. You wanted to be spanked without any pain. I gave that to you, then slowly increased the pain level. I was watching you jump, but then you were lifting your perfect little ass up higher.”
    Noah blushed. He remembered when he’d realized how the pain hadn’t really felt like pain at all.
    “You said you wanted a little penetration, but you opened up to my finger so eagerly, I knew if I pushed a little harder, you would have taken more.”
    “Why didn’t you?” Noah could barely get the words out. He couldn’t believe that Ronan spoke of such intimate acts without any embarrassment. Unlike Noah, who kept feeling his body tightening as his voice went higher, Ronan stayed relaxed and his tone was even regardless of what he was saying. When he remembered how experienced he was, it actually made sense. Noah couldn’t imagine a time when he would be able to do the same. If nothing else, Ronan was proof that BDSM as therapy had benefits. Ronan was a secure Dom now, but Noah doubted he’d been this confident and secure his whole life.
    “I felt you weren’t ready.” Ronan leaned over and kissed the side of Noah’s head. “I didn’t want you to use the safeword your first time.”
    “What if I’m never ready?”
    Ronan cupped Noah’s chin, lifting his face. “Noah, you’ve asked me that twice. I need you to be honest with me. In this type of relationship, you can’t be coy and demure, hoping that I’ll pick up what you’re putting down. What are you trying to tell me?”
    “What if I’m never ready to have sex with you?” The very idea of having Ronan’s cock go inside him scared Noah so much he could barely speak the words. He thought Ronan would be upset and feel Noah had somehow led him on, but Ronan’s reaction was as mild as his attitude toward everything else.
    “This isn’t about sex.” Ronan released Noah’s chin. “What we do in there isn’t the same was what we would do in my bedroom.”
    On the way to the shower earlier, Noah had gotten a peek into Ronan’s bedroom. It was dark because the shades were drawn, but he’d still been able to make out the masculine color scheme of burgundy, hunter green, and black. It was a man’s room, with a big, sturdy bed and little else. Noah had a feeling the idea of being on that bed with Ronan peering down at him was going to occupy a huge amount of his ongoing fantasy life. However, the thought of actually taking Ronan’s cock into his body was still stone-cold terrifying. Not only was he huge, but there were consequences. A dozen questions crowded in his brain to get out, but he didn’t have the courage yet to ask them. Maybe someday.
    “So you don’t want to take me to your bedroom?” Noah wanted to take the question back as soon as he asked it. He wasn’t ready to go there. Why even bring it up? Was some part of him trying to taunt Ronan so he would act and take the choice away from him?
    “Noah, look.” Ronan put a little distance between them, sharpening Noah’s attention. “I was honest with you earlier about what I wanted. It seems what I said scared you so much you almost called this off. I’m going to go back on my promise to myself to keep things casual, because I don’t think it’s fair to either one of us.”
    “Okay.” Noah had no idea what was coming, so he had no clue how to brace